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Moving to the tar heel state! (Uh, what is a tar heel?)

Photo by andrewbain / CC BY 2.0

About seven years ago, my dad told us he was going to North Carolina on a business trip. Then, well, let’s just say he never made it to North Carolina and the next time I saw him was at the divorce hearing. Unlike my father, when I tell you I’m going to North Carolina, I’m actually going there, like, to live.

It all started last November when I flew out to Los Angeles. I stepped off the plane and it was so sunny that I felt a surge of Vitamin D coursing through my veins and I could hear the birds singing just for me. I wanted to lick the sunshine, or at least pack it in my suitcase. Then, I returned to Indiana, where my nostril hairs froze and the sky was most definitely NOT the color of topaz or even tourmaline, and I thought, “Why the hell am I living in this shithole?”

Then my consciousness replied, “Because of your mom and brother, you numnuts.” And I was like, […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Almost None of the Women in the Ashley Madison Database Ever Used the Site
According to this article, only about 12,000 female accounts on Ashley Madison were real.

Rayanne from 'My So-Called Life' is living a fairy tale
Rayanne Graff is now a countess.

Theater chain begins bag check policy to heighten security - CBS News
I thought they checked my bag last Friday to be sure I wasn't smuggling candy and soda inside. I guess I am what you would call "naive."

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