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Flashlight Pilates

Suddenly the only light in my apartment was the glow of my widescreen monitor and a beeping started counting down the minutes until the battery in my power supply would die out. It was only 10:00pm on a Saturday and I wasn’t ready to go to bed.

“Well then, I guess I have absolutely no reason to do Pilates!” So I did, in the dark, by the light of my Dynamo Radio/flashlight. It was the free gift I got for renewing a credit card membership, which is way cooler than the pedometer I got last year. If the apocalypse ever comes, I won’t have to raid convenience stores for AA batteries to see the demon spawn of hell attacking. I can just hand crank the battery charger myself!

I’d been avoiding working my core that day because my core was sore. I let my exercise routine slip during my book promotions and when I started doing Pilates again last week it hurt to laugh the next day. But I didn’t want to try reading by flashlight, and [...]

Leaping Lizards

The instructor on my Pilates DVD is not only a trained expert, but a bit of a comedian. Near the end of the routine there comes a part where in one movement she rolls backward on the mat and then rolls forward to leap into a standing pose. This has always been good for a chuckle from me since I’m convinced only rabbit-human hybrids can jump up like that. Ana Caban’s father must have been the Easter bunny. The funniest part is that she acts like this is no big deal, as if this is how we all get out of the bed each morning.

I’m pretty game though, so I’ve attempted to imitate this maneuver several times in the last month, usually just falling back on my ass and giggling. Hopefully my downstairs neighbor thinks I’m engaged in wacky sexual hijinks instead of failed Pilates moves (though the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive).

Then last night I actually did it.

Granted, it was more like I rolled forward into a squat, paused and then stood up from [...]

Weight: 190 – Pounds left to lose: 30

Down two pounds this week on the weekly weigh-in. We’ve hit a number that ends in a 0, so what does that mean, children? Anyone? Yes, Lucy, you raised your hand first. Why yes, that’s right. It’s time to take the digital camera off the shelf and make some more progress photos. Look for them by Monday. Lucy, you get a gold star.

I’d also like to thank everyone who posts comments on the blog. You’ve been particularly heartwarming lately and if you don’t cut it out my left ventricle is going to burst into flames. I know you keep telling me I’m inspiring, but you guys are pretty inspiring too. I am rubber, you are glue. But if someday I develop an enormous ego, it will be completely your fault. You keep telling a girl she’s wonderful and she might start to believe it. Which is why you should tell people they are wonderful. So frequently people who want to lose weight will bash themselves and cut themselves down, but it’s when you think you [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Multifunction and multi-user desk is shared by people and cats : TreeHugger
If this works I totally need one. My left hand is half-numb because I've got a cat draped on it.

Game of Thrones rape: Director Alex Graves says the sex "becomes consensual."
Totally agree with this article. Definitely the worst mistake the series has ever made.

Runaway stowaway survives Calif.-Hawaii flight: FBI - CBS News
If this had happened in a movie I would never have believed it was possible.

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