I've moved to JenFul.com
Archives

Tag: ‘past’

  • Home page
  • Archives index
You're browsing the "past" archive: 

Sometimes you have to live The Wilder Life

Disclosure: Wendy is a friend of mine and she gave me an advanced review copy of this book for free. I’ve done work on her web site. She also let me sleep at her apartment one weekend during a Wordcamp conference and left the unfinished manuscript in the room I slept in, which I was very tempted to read, but I restrained myself from doing because I apparently have ethics. One night that weekend we watched the orangutan episode of Little House on the Prairie. All of which I say to be totally transparent, not to be pretentious or drop names. (Whoops! Could you pick that up for me?)

Sometimes we have nostalgia for a life that wasn’t ours or for things that never happened. I felt this way recently when watching the 90’s TV show My So-Called Life on Netflix streaming and found myself back in the world of introspective Angela Chase who looked like she dyed her hair with Kool-Aid, illiterate Jordan Catalano who really knew how to lean, and openly gay […]

Happy birthday to me! Thirty trips around the sun and not done spinning yet

Photo by bicameral / by Attribution 2.0 Generic CC

I dashed to the room where my smartphone was blaring a sitar ringtone, and pressed the red button, happy that I’d managed to locate the device before voice mail picked up. Well, I was happy until I realized I’d hung up on the caller, which is what the red button does, which you’d think I would know after having had the phone for three months.

So I opened the call log and returned the call to hear my brother’s voice on the line saying, “Hello?…..Hello?…..Is anyone there?” as I filled in the ellipsis with my own responses that he couldn’t hear with my mute button on. I figured out how to unmute the phone, but only after he hung up. So I tried calling him back again only to get a confused, Spanish-speaking person on the other end of the line, who I knew was not my brother because my brother took German in high school, not Spanish.

Then, finally, I managed to call my brother back at the […]

Chatting with the ghosts of past bloggers

The night that FitBloggin’ concluded, my room mates and I started talking in our dark hotel room like you do at slumber parties, where you’re just voices without bodies, sort of like how we are on the Internet. We were talking about the bloggers we’d met and the bloggers we read and that’s when I asked, “Does anyone remember Fat Bitch?”

“YES! She used to wear a bag on her head with a face drawn on it to remain anonymous!”

“She was hilarious! Then she just stopped blogging.”

“What about that one blog, Yo Ho Ho or something? There were pirates, remember?”

“Oh yeah, what was that called?”

“You Heave Ho! She was a pirate who wanted to lose her booty.”

“I miss A Dumbbell in a Home Gym.” We all sighed in agreement. “Hopeful Loser, too.”

“I miss The Fat Slayer.”

“How about Fatty McBlog? Remember that time she tripped on the stairs and almost crushed her neighbor?”

“Wait, do you mean Fatty McButterpants?”

“No, Fatty McBlog. There is a Fatty McButterpants, but she doesn’t write Fatty McBlog.”

Silence.

Then we broke into laughter, […]

The way things never were

It has been fun looking through old photo albums lately, remembering things the way they never were. Everyone is shiny and new and unbroken. Look, there’s Bob before he succumbed to soul-darkening depression! He looks so happy! And there are my parents, hugging each other in front of the dogwood tree. They’re not divorced after all! Oh, and look how cute and skinny I am at four years old before I ever discovered my compulsive eating problem!

It is kind of sad knowing these people’s futures, almost as sad as looking at what they’re wearing. Wow, a poncho. Really? But it can be happy too. Look, there’s Uncle Terry before he met his wife and made his beautiful babies. He’s got good times to look forward to. And there is Aunt Kelly the day she found out she had uterine cancer. She’ll be happy to find out they get it all during the hysterectomy. I wish I could tell Aunt Karen she will be so much happier after she divorces that man.

So many pictures. So many […]

Your life in ten years and 100 characters

I was clicking on pictures of my high school reunion on Facebook yesterday, feeling about 70% sad I wasn’t able to attend. I saw a couple faces that looked familiar, but slightly different, like the updated logo on the Pepsi can. People were older and fatter and had less hair, but they seemed to be having a good time, or faking it rather well. There were at least a handful of people I would have liked to have seen in 3D instead of on my flatscreen monitor.

The other 30% of me was glad I did not have to question every life decision I’ve made in the last 10 years, that I didn’t have to wonder what my life could have been like if I’d turned left instead of right, if I’d met a guy or had a baby, if I’d started a business or gotten another job. I’m pretty happy with my life, even with my headache and the recession and the toilet that seems to be breaking again. Yet, everyone can fall victim to […]

You're browsing the "past" archive: 
Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Newsletter

Sign up for my email newsletter and stay informed about the latest news and events.

Close
The Making of CHOCOLATE & VICODIN
Lick the Produce: Odd things I've put in my mouth
Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

Learn to run...online! Up & Running online running courses