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Name that veggie

Yesterday I was in line at the grocery store watching the cashier check out my items. The teenage clerk with slicked-back black hair picked up a clear bag containing my produce and looked for the sticker code on the item. She turned the bag all around and then asked, “What is this?”

“It’s a parsnip,” I replied proudly like a two-year-old at a pond who had just learned the word “duck.”

“A what?” the clerk replied.

“A pars-nip,” I enunciated more loudly over the background noise of the supermarket.

The clerk started searching the plastic-coated produce sheet which contained item codes looking for the right number to punch in. A burly, man who appeared to be her manager happened to walk by.

“Hey, Dave, how do I enter this in?” she asked him.

Dave stopped mid-stride and approached the register. He looked at me and asked, “What is that?”

“A parsnip,” I said for the third time.

“Parsley?” Dave asked. Granted, I’d only been able to identify the thing for a month, but in what universe could a big, white carrot be mistaken […]

Kids under the knife

Today I read that kids recover from obesity surgery better than adults. The study was based on 309 obese patients ages 12 to 18, which makes me wonder, who was the 12-year-old? I think I’d rather have my tonsils removed at that age than part of my stomach. The poor kid must have been really overweight for a doctor to authorize that.

While I support everyone’s right to make their own decisions about their lives, I do find it rather uncomfortable that people that young are having permanent, life-changing surgery. People do a lot of things in their youth they later regret. You can take out the nose ring and the hole will close up. If you save up enough money you can have the tattoo of your ex-boyfriend’s name removed from your ass. You can’t get your stomach back.

But I also understand that being that fat that young has got to be extremely painful and isolating. The fat kids usually don’t get to buy the cute clothes or get the hot dates. I can’t blame […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

I added some fake Black Friday deals to this store's weekly in-store flyer - Album on Imgur
OMG, too funny!

Humans can sleep for days when living alone underground, experiments show - ScienceAlert
This is probably a sign that I've got problems, but the idea of sleeping for 30 hours sounds really appealing.

Justin Bieber chastised audience for clapping on the offbeat: The biggest challenge facing musicians at shows is audiences with bad rhythm.
I'm linking to this because of the video of Harry Connick Jr. at the bottom, who manages to throw in an extra beat in the middle of a song to get people to start clapping on the offbeat without them even realizing. Mad skillz!


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