October 6, 2008 at 7:55 am
I can’t believe it happened again. No, really, I can’t believe it actually happened again.
Dear City of Indianapolis,
Please stop throwing a parade every time I go downtown on the weekend. I’m flattered that you think I’m so awesome that there needs to be a parade every time I grace your metropolis with my presence on the weekends. But next time, I swear I will plow through your bright orange blockades to get into the parking garage.
In June I tried rendezvousing with my mother to visit the tea room when I was detoured by the gay pride parade. Last Saturday, I drove downtown to take part in the Cultural Trail bicycle tour and couldn’t get past the roadblocks for the Circle City Classic parade. How many parades does this city have in a year? And is there a parade warning list I can be put on to warn me the next time a marching band stands between me and the parking garage?
Despite the barriers, I was able to drive downtown, pull my bike out [...]
June 25, 2008 at 7:15 am
Why is my mother distributing condoms in front of my workplace?
Well, we were on our way to the tea room. No, wait, we were going to stop at the quilt exhibit first. Okay, let me start at the beginning.
I’d been in the Indianapolis State Museum many times, but only to pee before running long distances around downtown. They hosted the mini-marathon training series I ran in, but they also host exhibits about history and arts and crafts. How versatile of them! My mother and I wanted to see the Radical Lace and Subversive Knitting and Quilting Blocks and Binding Blocks exhibits. We don’t quilt or knit, but we like to pretend we could. The museum is also home to the L.S. Ayres Tea Room, a recreation of a restaurant ladies lunched at in the L.S. Ayres department store before it was torn down. I live on the north side. My mother lives on the south side. The museum is downtown. So is my workplace.
“I’ll park in my company parking garage. You can come swooping down [...]