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The dangers of healthy eating

Healthy eating is by definition supposed to be good for your health. I obviously didn’t get the memo. Earlier this month, I grated off a piece of my thumb while making latkes. This week, I cut myself horribly on . . .a box of Go Lean! Crunch.

Yes, eating cereal is now a health hazard. You heard it here first. I don’t know if the machine that assembles the cereal boxes was miscalibrated or they happened to sharpen their box cutting knives the day it was shipped, but the cardboard edge of my box cut into my pinkie as I was innocently pouring myself a sweet yet nutritious mix of seven whole grains. Think I have law suit material? I have now placed masking tape over the edge to avoid future incidents.

What’s next? Will I slip on a banana peel in the kitchen? Will my tongue get frozen to a no-sugar-added fudge pop? I fear to speculate.

In other news, I completely forgot my fat-iversary two days ago. As of January 15th I’ve been doing this healthy […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

The Oregon Trail Generation: Life Before and After Mainstream Tech - Social Media Week
Sums up what it's like to be in between Gen X and the Millenials.

Charged in the death of Eric Harris, Deputy Bob Bates gets permission to go to the Bahamas
I was hoping this was an Onion article, but unfortunately it appears to be real.

Google Now Lets You Download Your Entire Search History - NBC News.com
Sort of disturbed to know they've been saving my search queries at all.

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