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Soon they’ll be calling me ma’am

It is a bit disturbing that all these Olympic athletes I see on TV are younger than me. There is 23-year-old snowboarder, Shaun White, and 25-year-old skier, Lindsey Vonn, and 27-year-old speed skater, Apolo Ohno, who is apparently an old, old man. I bet he is sponsored by the AARP. When I watch the events, a voice inside of me chants, “Go…29-year-olds!” while wondering if there are any 29-year-olds competing in the games. They might have been relegated to seniors competitions at this point.

But as I contemplate my old age and the fact that I am probably too old to win a gold metal in luge, I am not too upset. A few weeks ago, as I exited a coffee shop, a teenage girl walked up to me and asked if I had change for the bus. She and her friend appeared well-groomed and sober, so I was 95% certain I was not giving them change to buy crack cocaine on the next corner. I emptied my change purse into her palm and wished her [...]

Take a new song

When I am on a road trip, I want to listen to good music. The car is my not-quite-soundproof listening booth. I want to listen to my favorite, familiar songs. But how did my favorite, familiar songs become favorite and familiar? They must have been new and unknown once, before I listened to them over and over and learned the lyrics and the melody. If I listen to them too much, I find myself thinking, “Oh, that is a good song, yes, but I have listened to it too much already. I have it all figured out. Those chord changes do not surprise me. That syncopation is nothing new.” Then I must find something new.

I am always struggling to give new music a chance versus snuggling in the sonic warmth of those comfortable, well-worn, songs. I can be impatient listening to new music. I don’t know if I will like the song or the singer or the instrumentation when I play the MP3 or watch the video on YouTube. When a new song comes on [...]

9 things that have made me feel old lately

1) Going to bed at 9:00 (yes, PM).

2) Watching a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie and enjoying it.

3) Sitting in a coffee shop and being annoyed by “those damn teenagers.”

4) Hearing a song on the radio and thinking, “I have that album…on cassette tape.”

5) Watching the ladies ice skaters at national’s and realizing they were all born in the 90′s.

6) Realizing I am older than Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, or Jimi Hendrix ever were.

7) Hating the snow because it’s hard to drive in instead of loving the snow because it’s fun to sled in.

8) Taking a ton of pills at night. (I skipped becoming my mother and went straight to becoming my grandmother.)

9) Feeling tired all the time.

What’s made you feel old lately?

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Ebola: Maine deploys state police to quarantined nurse's home | World news | The Guardian
I know not everyone will agree with me, but I think Kaci Hickox is pretty badass. I admire her for standing up to policies that are based on fear, not science.

If, Like Renee Zellweger, You're Female and Have a Face and Body, Listen Up - NYTimes.com

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I've seen abandoned shopping carts before, but never wheelchairs.

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