I just wanted everyone to know that as of this second, Officer Krupke is on the MSNBC home page.

As I have mentioned, Krupke lost a bit of weight a few years ago, but it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. It’s hard to get girls when you’re neutered.

Oh, and they also interviewed me and the awesome Jen Larsen. (Hey, publishing bigwigs! She has a book proposal! You should snatch it up!) You can read the article here.

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Java Bean hits a dead end at the drive-through.

What? I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I swear!

Office Krupke is my copy editor, which is why there are so many typos.

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This is Java Bean.*

Java Bean came to live with me three weeks ago after a friend of mine adopted his whisker-biting sister. I can’t turn down free donuts and I can’t turn down free kittens either. Java Bean was born in the wild (or as wild as Indiana gets) and survived a respiratory infection that killed three of the nine kittens in his litter. When I stopped by the vet, four of his brothers and sisters had been adopted, leaving me in the position of deciding which of the last two kittens would be picked last for dodge ball. After Java’s brother bounced around the room and tried opening my purse, I decided the more low-key cat was the one for me.

I took him home four days later and he spent the weekend inspecting the quality of my box springs. I slowly lured him out on the second evening and by the end of the night he was on top of the bed instead of underneath it, bouncing on my chest demanding we play with [...]

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While I have been maintaining my weight for the last several months, my cat has been putting me to shame. Officer Krupke is down 3.5 pounds since August. According to Hill’s Pet Fit site, Krupke was the human equivalent of 40 pounds overweight. Now he’s only 9 pounds above average. He’s lost 30 pet pounds! Don’t worry. I haven’t been starving him and he doesn’t have any horrible diseases. He’s been on a vet supervised diet, and it seems diets do work with cats.

I started to notice Krupke’s weight loss in the same way that I noticed my own. When I was petting down his back last week I felt bones that I hadn’t felt before, just like how I felt my pelvic bones after I’d lost about 100 pounds. Krupke also seems to be prone to the same cravings and binges as humans. Last night I caught him licking grease from my George Foreman grill after I cooked a steak. I pulled him off the kitchen counter immediately, but got distracted by food [...]

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