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Assembling the IKEA Expedit workstation…expediently?

There are several things you’ll need when assembling IKEA furniture.

A big cup of coffee (or your caffeinated beverage of choice).

Tools! I purchased this toolkit at Target after I moved into my own apartment, and it’s the best twenty-something bucks I’ve spent in a long time.

An Allen wrench, thoughtfully provided by IKEA. The Allen wrench manufacturers of the world must highly covet the IKEA account.

Patience. I have no visual representation of patience for you. A good understanding of spatial dimensions doesn’t hurt either.

IKEA furniture typically comes flat-packed in large cardboard boxes, which you can rip open to view the large Swedish puzzle pieces, a bag of screws, bolts, nuts, and a diagram illustrating how to put the item together. There is no text on the instruction book, probably so IKEA can use the same booklets internationally without translating everything. I was putting together the Expedit bookcase and workstation in black/brown.

I was able to understand the little cartoon character’s instructions fairly well, but I ran into problems connecting the wood panels with the wooden pegs. I [...]

Where to work?

My home office is a lovely place to work, with far more natural sunlight than my old office, but sometimes I like to get out of my apartment for reasons that do not involve imminent starvation. I have been testing some places around town, and my only real necessity is that they offer free wi-fi. Here is the rundown.

The Library

PROS: The downtown Indianapolis Library is beautiful, sunny and doing much better ever since they fixed those silly foundation problems. There is even a café on the first floor where you can buy sodas and yogurt parfaits and more. The tables lining the windows have outlets for my laptop and there are shades that automatically lower or rise depending on how sunny it is.

CONS: The downtown Indianapolis Library is also popular amongst homeless people and vagrants who have nothing else to do but roam the building. It’s also not as quiet as you’d think. Yesterday a woman had a 10-minute long cell phone conversation at the table behind me. Parking is also difficult to find because [...]

The office

There is much to like about the new apartment. The cats have more space, so they reenact Roman Gladiator fights far less frequently. The kitchen has a dishwasher that actually cleans dishes instead of leaving spots and clumps on all the plates for me to pick off with my fingernails. Most of all, I love having an office:

And, ok, occasionally that guy who wears Dr. Pepper pajama pants and plays his Nintendo while he walks the dog goes traipsing past the window. And, yes, the neighborhood kids like to play baseball or soccer or ultimate Frisbee or whatever games kids play these days in the patch of grass between apartments. But this is why they invented curtains and venetian blinds and window decals.

Yes, I know the curtain rod is bowing. I have a metal rod to replace the plastic one with, but I haven’t hung it up yet. Otherwise I have all I need to work here: a laptop, a monitor, a stereo system, and a new printer/copier/scanner. Printers sure have come a long way [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Please Do Not Leave A Message: Why Millennials Hate Voice Mail : All Tech Considered : NPR
I left a voicemail for my younger brother last week which he never got because he doesn't check it. When I asked him about it, he was like, "Why didn't you text me?"

Life in Quarantine for Ebola Exposure: 21 Days of Fear and Loathing - NYTimes.com
I tend to stay at home a lot, but 21 days stuck in my apartment would drive me crazy.

Buy Experiences, Not Things - The Atlantic
Money can buy happiness if you spend it on experiences, not things.

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