Yesterday I received a gift basket in the mail that I was supposed to pick up at the annual Lafayette Oatmeal Festival. This reminded me that I’m the twit who ditched the oatmeal festival (though for very understandable reasons). As I took the gift basket out of the box, it fell, making me the twit who also broke a Quaker oatmeal bowl she received for not attending the Oatmeal Festival. Whoops-si-doodles!

Then I took a picture of all these things and was reminded that my photos are crap and I cannot even be bothered to move the PediPaws I bought at Walgreens out of the background of my photos. (Nope, haven’t bought a Snuggie yet, but my friend Jenny knows how to make one!) Someday I’ll buy a D-SLR camera and become a real blogger!

Anyway, to feel less twit-like, I interviewed Ellen Kanazawa, the organizer of the Oatmeal Festival. Only, I interviewed her over a month ago, so again – I’m such a twit! Be grateful I manage to put on pants in the morning. So, hear you go, all your burning oatmeal questions answered, including an explanation as to why Colorado holds an oatmeal festival in winter!

I read that Lafayette started out as a coal mining town, but you’ve held an oatmeal festival for over 10 years now. What inspired your community to start an oatmeal festival, and not, for instance, a coal festival?

Because downtown Lafayette was faced with the newly constructed Hwy 287 bypass (that would re-route traffic away from downtown), retail and business owners looked for a way to peak interest and bring visitors to the heart of downtown during the slowest month of the year. Someone read that January was oatmeal month, thus, the idea was born.

Is there a particular reason the festival is held in January, besides the fact it is nice to eat a warm bowl of oatmeal on a cold day?

January is oatmeal month. To the best of our knowledge, the Lafayette Quaker Oatmeal Festival is the only one of its kind in the country.

Planning a festival like this must be a lot of work. Does anything go on behind the scenes that people might be surprised by? What kind of cooking pot do you use to make that much oatmeal?

Most people do not realize this Festival is actually three events in one: the 5K, the oatmeal breakfast and the health fair! And we pull it off with a staff of 3 part-time people. We are so fortunate to have so many in our community come together to help with this event. For instance, the Blue Parrot Restaurant in Louisville, CO, has been cooking pancakes from the very beginning (a huge undertaking!) Read more in this article.

The recipient of the Colorado Governor’s Award for Excellence, the Lafayette Quaker Oatmeal Festival includes an Oatmeal Breakfast with the world’s largest toppings bar, the Quicker Quaker 5K Walk /Run, a certified qualifier for the Bolder Boulder, and an interactive Health Fair. Boulder Community Hospital and Community Medical Center sponsor the Heath Fair which includes health screenings, health and science related programs and demonstrations. Attracting thousands from Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska and Washington, this one day event will be held on January 10, 2009, in Lafayette, Colorado. Produced by Lafayette Community Events, more information on the Lafayette Quaker Oatmeal Festival can be obtained by visiting www.discoverlafayette.com

What’s your favorite oatmeal topping?

I enjoy walnuts, brown sugar and fresh fruit….and Colorado peach jam!

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Thanks to Ellen for putting up with me and for the gift basket, which I will try not to destroy when I move it off of my living room floor. You can view photos of the festival here. If you are in Lafayette, Colorado next January 9, 2010, stop by for a bowl!

So dear readers, what else do I need to know about skiing? Please give me your secret snow skiing tips. I have my long underwear. I have my winter coat. I have my gloves and scarf and hat. Am I missing anything vital I was supposed to pack that I cannot rent for affordable prices?

I am also finally starting to get excited about this trip, which is a nice change from the general malaise towards life I have felt lately. I’m crossing my fingers the plane does not go down in flames and prove my optimism wrong.

PS – They are doing work on the web servers sometime in the next 24 hours (or they might have already done it). If anything goes wonky, that is why. The good news is once the work is done there will no longer be any massive data losses (crosses toes, since my fingers are still crossed about the plane).

I remembered that Quaker Oats is owned by the same company that makes Diet Pepsi as well as other products like Tropicana and Lays Potato Chips, as illustrated in this photo of the lobby above. (This photo also makes me think “I need to lose 10 pounds” which is why I didn’t post it before. Oh, body image, how you toy with me!) I decided to suck up real good by cooking a bowl of quick oats in Diet Pepsi.

Please don’t try this at home. (No, really, don’t. You have been warned.)

After spitting out that hideous concoction into the trash, I remembered a commenter who told me mangoes and hot sauce tasted good together. Entries were going to be judged on creativity as well as convenience and taste. Intrigued, I bought some mangoes with the idea of naming my creation Tropical Spicy Delight. Then I actually ate mangoes and hot sauce together and decided that was a worse idea than Lays Potato Chip Oatmeal.

Out of inspiration, I looked in my cupboards and saw that I stored my oatmeal right next to the instant coffee. (Uh, yes, that’s Kroger brand oatmeal. Don’t tell the Quaker Oats people!)

Having recently become a coffee addict, I said, “What the hell! Let’s just mix a cup of coffee in with the oatmeal! It’ll save me time in the morning.” So I did and it didn’t taste half bad, at least after I added the sweetener and milk. It didn’t have many ingredients, though we could add up to 10, but I decided it was convenient and fairly tasty. My brother, who just graduated from business school, said coffee flavorings were hot. Thus, I named it Oatmeal Expresso and sent it in.

The deadline passed and I hadn’t heard anything, so I thought one of the food bloggers had kicked my ass by using real ingredients like fruit.

Then I got a voice mail saying Quaker had very exciting news for me and to call them back please. Unfortunately I got the message after office hours and had to wait a day to find out what they wanted. The optimistic part of me hoped I had won, but the pessimistic part made me think I was one of two finalists who would have to fly to New York for a sudden death round of oatmeal wrestling. The really pessimistic part of me imagined the other finalist would be Miz Fit, whose eyeballs are more in shape than my entire body.

I finally called them back the next day and guess what? Oh no, you already guessed? Well, you’re right! I won! And I didn’t have to force another blogger into a hammer lock to do so. It made me so happy I got off my ass and ran for 30 minutes, which is something I have not been doing enough of lately.

In many ways this has been both the best and worst year of my life. It’s been like eating an ice cream cake covered in fecal flavored frosting. There’s been a lot of creamy, vanilla, chocolate goodness, but there’s been a lot of shit too. It’s nice to know that good things can still happen.

So, I shall go to the oatmeal festival and I shall visit the world’s largest topping bar and I shall report back to you, assuming I do not go splat into a tree on the bunny slopes.

Here is my winning recipe, Oatmeal Expresso, which I also considered naming these titles, many of them inspired by Mo’s oat puns:

Capp-oat-ccino Delight

Morning Moch-oat Delight

Mocha Cup-of-oats Delight

Mocha Oats in the morning

Morning Moch-oat Surprise

Morning Mocha Express-oats

Cappuccino Express-oats

Cappuccin-oat Delight

Oatmeal Expresso

3/4 cup Quaker Quick Oats

2 teaspoons instant coffee

3 teaspoons Splenda

1/4 cup skim milk

1/2 cup water

Save time in the morning by combining your cup of coffee with a heart healthy breakfast. Quick and easy, this recipe will give you a shot of energy in the morning that also keeps you full until lunch time.

Combine the Quaker Quick Oats, instant coffee and Splenda. Mix in the skim milk and water. Microwave the mixture for one minute and 45 seconds. Enjoy!