PastaQueen » names http://pastaqueen.com/blog You'll laugh you ass off. (I did.) Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:51:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Addict is just a six-letter word http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2009/01/addict-is-just-a-six-letter-word/ http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2009/01/addict-is-just-a-six-letter-word/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:43:23 +0000 PastaQueen http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=998
Ultimately, I decided the name doesn’t matter. A name is just a box we put ideas in. What matters is that I understand my relationship with food. Then I can start figuring out the consequences my environment, my thoughts, and my actions have on that relationship and make plans to manipulate these things to my best advantage. I don’t know what the official definition of addiction is, though I could look it up on dictionary.com or the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical [...]]]> Before I realized I was a food addict, I’d been doing some reading on and off about the condition. The major sticking point for me was the same as some people’s responses in my post, which were, “Can you really be addicted to something that is essential to survive?” After all, we never hear about oxygen addicts. “That Bob, he just can’t get enough air! I wish he’d just hold his breath once in awhile.” I wondered if there were better terms for the condition, like “compulsive overeater” or “binge eater” or “Piggy McEatsalot.”

Ultimately, I decided the name doesn’t matter. A name is just a box we put ideas in. What matters is that I understand my relationship with food. Then I can start figuring out the consequences my environment, my thoughts, and my actions have on that relationship and make plans to manipulate these things to my best advantage. I don’t know what the official definition of addiction is, though I could look it up on dictionary.com or the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). I don’t know if what happens in my brain when there is leftover cake in the break room is the same thing that happens when an alcoholic is inside a liquor store or a smoker is inhaling second-hand smoke at a bar. It would be interesting to know, but I doubt it matters unless you’re working on a cure for addiction. Right now I’m just trying to cope with the way I am. Giving my problems a name seems less relevant than managing them.

It’s nice to have the name, for sure. Then you can popularize the term and it makes it easier to explain it to other people. You can say, “I’m an alcoholic” and people instantly understand what you mean. It would be nice to have scientific proof too because then you can point to the studies and the fancy medical speak and explain to people why you are the way you are. That would make them stop jabbering on about willpower and calorie counting and stop them wondering why these silly fat people can’t stop eating so much already. Once people see that there is a biological reason for the way you are, they get much more understanding and stop blaming you for a character flaw.

So, addict, compulsive overeater, or Lady Piggy McEatsalot, I don’t care what you call me, but at least I know what I am.

]]> http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2009/01/addict-is-just-a-six-letter-word/feed/ 53 What’s in a name? http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/07/whats-in-a-name/ http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/07/whats-in-a-name/#comments Fri, 06 Jul 2007 09:12:16 +0000 PastaQueen http://pastaqueen.com/blog/?p=605
However, I still think it’s funny that there are probably thousands of kids and adults in Germany named “Dieter.” [...]]]> I was reading a review for the new movie Rescue Dawn and nearly sprayed soda on my screen in a rainbow array of backlit droplets when I read that the main character’s name is “Dieter.” It seemed somewhat appropriate since Christian Bale plays the character and I’ll never forget how scary thin he got for the film The Machinist. I should print out the picture of him imitating a bird and paste it in my dictionary next to the definition for “heebie-jeebies” because it always gives me them. The man made Nicole Ritchie look plump. But upon further research I realized that the name “Dieter” is German and I’ve actually heard it said many times, most notably attached to the Mike Myers character of a German talk show host. I’d just never seen it spelled before. It’s not pronounced “DIE-et-er” but “DEET-er.” It means warrior of the people and has absolutely nothing to do with SlimFast shakes.

However, I still think it’s funny that there are probably thousands of kids and adults in Germany named “Dieter.” I wonder how many of them are actually on diets. I also have to wonder if there are any American names that translate to something funny in foreign languages. The whole concept reminds me of a quote from The Breakfast Club where Bender says “Claire is a fat girl’s name.” I have no idea what Bender meant by this, but can your name really make you fat or thin? Claire Danes is pretty thin. I used to go by the nickname Jenny before the 2nd grade. However, Jennifer was the most popular girl’s name for girls born in 1980 so there were always lots of other Jenny’s around. I changed it to Jennette when we moved to another state. Jenny is also the name for a female bird, like a turkey. Gobble, gobble. Does Jenny sound fatter than Jennette? Thinner? The same? I have no idea. It was only because I was going by Jennette that I was called Jennetti Spaghetti, the great PastaQueen, so my Internet handle would probably be different if I’d never dropped my nickname. At least my parents didn’t name me Meridia.

]]> http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2007/07/whats-in-a-name/feed/ 16