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So, this weight loss stuff is hard, eh?

I bought muesli at Trader Joe’s because it sounded exotic and foreign, like Vegemite or Weetabix. Then I brought it home and realized muesli is essentially granola’s cousin, only with more cornflakes and dried blueberries and possibly crystal meth. (I’m not sure what those little round things were.) There are certain foods I should not be allowed to buy and muesli can now be added to that list.

Lately, that list has become my grocery list. I was doing really well for a week and then, holy shit, I found myself plowing through the fridge at 11 o’clock at night, stirring peanut butter into ricotta cheese just because I wanted to eat SOMETHING. The next day I gave a coworker a ride home and was relieved I hadn’t left any embarrassing music in the CD player, but was less happy that the Krispy Kreme bag from breakfast was lying on the passenger’s side floor. I felt like I’d left a used syringe on the top of the trash, me, the poster girl for weight loss (literally, [...]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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