January 15, 2009 at 9:13 am
It was exactly 4 years ago today that I stepped on a scale and then stepped on a treadmill and finally stepped into a new phase of my life. Happy fativersary to me!
I started out at 372 pounds, a number I would rather possess in foreign currency than write down on my weight chart. After over two and half years of work, I hit a low of 170.8 pounds (partially induced by stress I dared not blog about). That weight was a bit too low for me, since I still like to eat a donut now and then. Instead, I maintained a weight of 180 pounds for a good while, was happy with my size, and bopped happily down nature trails and treadmills as I trained for a half marathon and promoted my book.
Then after almost a year of unrelenting chronic pain, I entered another phase of my life which involved depression and compulsive eating, gaining back about 25 pounds. And quite frankly my dear, I didn’t give a damn, because I was so foregone.
January 8, 2009 at 8:45 am
Thank you everyone for all your well wishes and support. I appreciate it very much. If good thoughts could cure headaches I would be well by now!
However, I have learned it’s best not to wallow (or to try not to wallow anyway), so I’m going to continue on blogging about other stuff. So, don’t act too weirded out when I start talking about how to set your goal weight and things like that. I could whine about my headache all the time, but that would get old for all of us very quickly.
ETA: Oh, yesterday some people were getting a 500 error after they left a comment. I don’t know for sure why this was happening, but I would guess it was due to high traffic because it is weight loss resolution season. If it happens to you, just hit the “Back” button and try submitting your comment again and it should hopefully work. I will delete any duplicate comments…someday.
January 7, 2009 at 8:48 am
As you can probably tell by yesterday evening’s entry, I have been going through a very difficult time lately. It has, in fact, been the most difficult time of my life, worse than the days when I was a 372-pound recluse living alone in a studio apartment.
People always said life is hard and I would nod and agree, but I did not understand. Weight loss is hard and college is hard and finding a job is hard. All those things are hard, indeed, and I’ve done all those things. I thought I understood when people said life was hard, but I didn’t, because you cannot understand suffering until you have suffered.
I have been suffering lately. I have been suffering since the evening of February 17th, 2008 when I got a headache that has never gone away. Some of you probably laugh a little and think, “Ha, that’s weird. But it’s just a headache. How bad can it be?”
It is bad. It is very, very bad.
It has made me cry so badly that my wailing has [...]
January 6, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Oh. My. God.
Please do not put your name or URL in the body of your comments.
I did not make this policy clear until a week ago. Those of you who did this before then, I forgive. You did not know any better.
I recently put this policy in bold in the comment disclaimer at the bottom of every page, right below the “Submit” button. Yet, people still left their names and URLs in the body of comments. I privately emailed them and asked them to stop doing this. They apologized and I forgave them.
Tonight, I added another disclaimer, right above the body section of the comment, just in case people didn’t scroll down all the way to see the other disclaimer. And yet again, someone just left their name in the body of the comment.
So now, I am writing this post, and I am asking you, for the love of all that is holy or unholy in this universe, DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME OR URL IN THE BODY OF YOUR COMMENTS. There are fields for [...]
November 25, 2008 at 7:43 am
Next week they’re laying off at least 55 people at my workplace, maybe as many as 97. The news was announced a couple weeks ago and since then morale has been as high as the stock market. There are rumors and speculation over who will get axed, but mostly there is gallows humor and the unanswered question, “If I get fired, do I still get to go to the Christmas party?”
I’ve heard that at least one person in my department of nine people will probably be let go, maybe more. If it’s me, I hope I don’t cry, or that I can at least hold my tears until I reach the parking garage and can blow mucus into the napkins I store in my car to clean up messes like these. If it’s one of my coworkers, it will be strange and awkward and sad and I won’t know what to say or what to feel. Everyone here does their job well. There is just not enough money to pay everyone.
I read the news on [...]