Photo by Sixth Lie / by NCND 2.0 CC

I looked up my old post about LASIK surgery recently so I could give the link to a friend who’s considering the procedure. I’m not sure what word best describes the feeling I get when reading old posts, but it’s similar to the feeling I get when looking at old yearbook photos. It’s some combination of surprised/awkward/insightful/nostalgic. Surprawkinosalgic? Take note, Merriam-Webster, the first usage of that word started here!

I haven’t read through the entire blog since I wrote Half-Assed, and I don’t have any plans (or the time) to do so any time soon. Yet it’s surprawkinosalgic to see how my writing tone and approach have evolved over the years, and even more surprawkinosalgic to see how I myself have changed .

This section jumped out at me from the LASIK post, which I wrote before the bit about a laser burning out my eyeballs:

It was a pretty fun waiting room to be in since everyone was there by choice and was going to experience an improvement [...]

• Continue reading "The past psycho cookie monster"

I think I found the most expensive way to lose a fraction of an ounce: LASIK surgery. That’s right y’all, I got my eyes zapped yesterday and I’ve never been happier to be several grand poorer. I’m sure I could have found a kid to shine a laser pointer in my eye for free, but fancy surgeons with high-powered lasers cost a bit more. Maybe I should get out a sharpie and append my t-shirt that says “Being this cute is exhausting” to say “Being this cute is exhausting …and expensive.”

I’m typing this on my computer without my glasses on and I can see just fine. I’m also trying to remember to blink frequently to keep my eyes lubricated. (blink) While I probably lost .001 of an ounce when they fried off parts of my eyes, the real benefit during my weigh-ins will come from losing my glasses which weigh one entire once. (blink) Between this, my gall bladder, and those wisdom teeth I had removed perhaps I should start handicapping my weight for you [...]

• Continue reading "I can see clearly now"