Yesterday at work we made hamburgers with Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns. I don’t know why. These things just happen. One minute you’re talking about chocolate-covered bacon and the next you’re daring your boss to cut off two years of his life in two Krispy, greasy bites.

A lot of supplies are required to make donut burgers: a griddle, glazed donuts, ground beef, bacon, cheese, eggs and of course lettuce and tomatoes. Don’t forget your veggies! If you ever make these at your own workplace, a fried egg works well to cover up the donut hole. Don’t forget to toast your donut on the griddle for extra crispiness! But have thick plates and lots of paper towels because these are prone to drip.

I myself did not have a donut burger because the day before that we had frosted carrots for my birthday.

See? There are twenty-eight carrot flakes on top of a carrot cake, and they even spelled my name right. My coworkers are awesome. I’m going to miss them when they all have coronaries.

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I decided to skip Saturday morning’s training run because there was snow on the ground and I’ve already fallen once this year, but down in North Carolina they gave runners a great incentive to finish a race course: Krispy Kreme donuts. (Raising money for charity is all good too, but less tangible and not as tasty in your mouth.) According to this article runners ran from a bell tower at North Carolina State to a Krispy Kreme store two miles away and back in near-freezing temperatures. (Oh, only near freezing? I am now less impressed. Try 6 degrees, baby!) And, by the way, they had to stop and eat a dozen donuts at the Krispy Kreme store, preferably without vomiting on the way back. I’m sure course volunteers have no problems cleaning up paper cups for water, but no one wants to mop up partially digested donuts from the sidewalk. In anticipation of this, they actually placed trash bins at the end of the course.

Even in the days when I did not care what I [...]

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I saw something that I never thought I’d see here in Indianapolis:

A Dunkin’ Donuts! In Indy! Don’t they know this is Krispy Kreme country? Actually, the south is the die-hard Krispy Kreme territory and Indiana is more like a border state. I sense a turf war coming on. I hope I don’t get caught in the crossfire when donut shop employees start shooting donut holes at one another. Dunkin’ Donuts is mostly a northeastern and mid-Atlantic food chain. When I visited Boston last year there seemed to be one on every corner. It reminded me of the movie Demolition Man where in the future all restaurants are Taco Bell. In Boston all restaurants are Dunkin’ Donuts. According to Inside Indiana Business, Dunkin’ Donuts plans to open 80 new stores in the Indianapolis area in the next 6 years. The first two opened in September and they even donated money to the Special Olympics at the opening to make people like them.

There are only a couple Krispy Kremes in Indianapolis and none of them are near [...]

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I had to giggle when I saw that Krispy Kreme has introduced a whole wheat doughnut. I’m typically a fan of whole-wheat products, but looking at the nutritional information (PDF here) on Krispy Kreme’s site this donut doesn’t seem to be much of an improvement over the original glazed donut. It has only 20 calories less per serving, only 3g less carbohydrates and only a gram or two more fiber. A slight improvement, but not a remarkable breakthrough in food science.

I’d be willing to try one if I ever found myself in a Krispy Kreme again, which is about as likely as finding me in the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. But I’m of the opinion that if you’re going to have a treat you should go whole hog and get the treat you want. If you compromise, you don’t enjoy it as much as if you’d gotten what you really wanted and you’ve still got more calories and carbs swimming in your stomach than you would have otherwise.

When I drove home from my [...]

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