Next week I have a training session with Aaron (name changed to protect innocent personal trainers), who recently lost 50 pounds himself. We’ll see how it goes, though after reading an article a reader named Greg sent me about 10 Things Your Gym Won’t Tell You, I’ll be happy to get through the experience without contracting a staph infection or having my spine severed by the weight machine.

Bally’s and Bed, Bath and Beyond are in the same mall complex. Since I was in the neighborhood, and since I had my gift card, and since I had a 20% off coupon, how could I not get the mango slicer? The apple slicer now has a friend to slice it up with.

On Thursday night I was on the Dr. Fitness and the Fat Guy radio show podcast (broadcasting live each week from Atlanta, GA, USA). I didn’t mention this beforehand because I figured if I sounded like a dumbass on the show I would pretend it didn’t happen and mention it to no one. However, I think I did okay, even if I’m not quite Letterman-ready. I didn’t start cursing like a sailor or drop the phone, anyway. You can listen to the show here. I’m the first guest, but there are also several other interesting interviews, including a guy who knows everything about tea.

Contests! If you have been sitting here wondering “How can I get a year’s worth of popcorn and a 1 year 2-movies-at-a-time Netflix subscription for free?” (and I know you have) you can wonder no more. Roni’s Weight Watchen Page(s) has teamed with Orville Redenbacher (the company, not the guy, because he died a while back and séances are expensive) to start a contest (details here) with that prize. All you have to do is write a blog entry that links to Roni and Orville and presumably let Roni know you did so, and you’re all entered. Like I am now. Of course now that I’ve told you, you’re probably going to enter and thus reduce my own chances of winning, so why don’t you look at some cute kittens instead?

Or you can give blood. Manic Mommy will put $1 into the pot for everyone who enters her contest and proves they have given blood this month (preferably their own blood since I don’t want to encourage back alley exsanguinations of the homeless). The details are at the bottom of this entry. This has nothing to do with weight loss, I just thought it was a worthy cause and I have no plans of entering it myself. I have nothing against worthy causes, it’s just, OMG, needles! When I was fat I could legitimately say I didn’t donate because the nurses couldn’t find my veins, but now I just have to admit that I am a wuss and I won’t voluntarily go near a needle even for a free cookie. (See, there are some things I really won’t do for cookies.) This makes me a bad person, I know, but you don’t want my bad blood anyway, do you? If they could somehow get the blood out of my body without pain or needles, I’d be all over this. Alas, I’ll leave the cash to nobler people than myself.

I saw the apple slicer at Target and was immediately reminded why I don’t let myself browse that store much anymore. It’s because I buy stuff. Like apple slicers and silicone muffin pans in the shape of hearts and $5.50 DVDs that I will never watch. Thankfully, I have already used the apple slicer, like this:

Isn’t that awesome?! I positioned the tool over an apple, pressed down, and instantly I cored and sliced it into 8 pieces. I didn’t even have to press that hard. The only way it could be more perfect is if it peeled the apple too, but then I’d have no use for my paring knife, so I guess it’s for the best. The amount of joy it brings me to slice apples with this device is indescribable and honestly, probably a little sad. No kitchen device should be able to make someone this happy. I might get a little kra-zee and try slicing a pear with it. They’ve also got a mango slicer that I’m coveting until I earn my next Bed, Bath and Beyond rewards card from Discover.

My other kitchen Christmas gift to myself was a grater. I’d never needed one before, but I wanted to make the Sweet Potato Latkes recipe in The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook that my mother gave me for Christmas and this required either a food processor or a grater. I decided the $4.99 grater was a better buy. I got carried away trying to scrape every last piece of sweet potato into the bowl and ended up grating off a piece of my thumb as well. Human flesh: not a recommended ingredient.

The latkes were very good, though they fell apart rather easily. Next time I might add another egg or just try cooking the mixture as a casserole. And I’ll leave out the human skin too.

Recipe is after the jump because I know you’ll ask. Psychic readings only $20!

Sweet Potato and Zucchini Latkes (from The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook)

1 medium zucchini (1/2 pound) ends trimmed

1 large sweet potato (3/4 pound), peeled

1/4 cup minced onion

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3 tablespoons canola oil

Unsweetened applesauce (optional)

Slice zucchini lengthwise and remove seeds. Coarsely grate zucchini and potato in a food processor or with a hand grater; transfer to a medium bowl. Add onion, egg, salt, and pepper; stir to combine.

Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Working in 2 batches, add zucchini mixture by heaping tablespoons to skillet, gently flattening with the back of the spoon as you go. Cook until the edges are golden, 1 to 2 minutes, then flip and cook until bottom is golden, about 1 minute more (adjust head if necessary to prevent burning). Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons oil and remaining zucchini mixture. Serve latkes hot with applesauce on the side if desired.