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The time I was shot (with a camera, not bullets)

I’ve gotten a ridiculous amount of compliments on the photo I’ve started using for my icon on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I’m not an ugly person, but I’m not a serious contender for Miss America either, so getting this much attention over my photo is kinda weird. You’d think I’d bathed in buttermilk and hired a stylist or something, but all I really did was hire my friend Kyle Hepp, who’s a professional photographer, to take my picture. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to thank her and pimp her services.

Kyle is a girl (with a boy’s name, yes, she knows) who I met through our blogs. She is a US expatriate who lives in Chile for most of the year with her husband, Seba, who she met there during school. When I heard she’d be in Nashville last summer, I decided to trek down I-65 to meet her. I hired her to do a photo shoot too for several reasons.

I needed new promotional images of myself because everyone thought my hair was much shorter [...]

The smiling jerk

An old coworker sent me this image today, along with this note: “Don’t ask why I was googling for ‘smiing jerk,’ I swear I have a good reason.”

Yeah, that’s me on page 3 of the search results. Go figure! It makes me curious as to what other phrases make my image turn up. I’m hoping for “voluptuous babe.” (ETA: This is really real, not an April Fool’s joke.)

In other news, congratulations to Alexandra from Pennsylvania who won the Weight Watchers POINTS Pedometer. There were 200 entries and if I’d known the pedometer was that popular, I probably would have auctioned it off instead. (Mama’s got to pay for kitty litter.) My ignorance is your gain! Or (weight) loss, hopefully, I suppose.

Will the real PastaQueen stand up?

When I was overweight, I never understood skinny girls who looked at photos and complained, “I look so fat in that photo!” I always looked fat in photos because I was fat. The skinny girls looked skinny. Perhaps the camera didn’t catch them at the best angle, but they looked thinner than I ever would.

Then I lost about 200 pounds and I totally understand where they were coming from. I present exhibits A, B, and C.

These three photos were all taken on the same day, which is odd because it looks like I gained 10 pounds and then lost it again before noon. I ran a half-marathon that day, but running 13.1 miles does NOT burn 35,000 calories, nor could the lasagna I had for lunch make me that much fatter.

In the first photo, I’m striking the “skinny pose.” I have one foot placed in front of the other. I’m turning at the waist, but rotating my shoulders towards the camera. I’m jutting my chin out slightly. I read how to do this online and [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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The Making of CHOCOLATE & VICODIN
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Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

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