I stared at the candy display rack for a moment before I grabbed two Cadbury creme eggs and a chocolate covered marshmallow heart. Then I started walking towards the ice cream aisle. In my way was a blonde man in a black leather jacket who was walking slowly towards me while holding a grocery basket . He kind of looks like my brother, I thought. Oh, crap. He is my brother!

I palmed the chocolate in my right hand and waved at him with my left. Ha! So funny to see you here I said, and Yeah, just finished my workout he said, and Like the new hair color I said, and Like your new haircut he said, and we continued to chit chat. In his basket were no-sugar-added fudge pops and lean ground beef and other disgustingly healthy items.

“So, what are you getting here?” He asked. I wasn’t sure if he knew the answer already, but I looked at the tile floor embarrassed.

“Uh, I was buying…chocolate,” I said as I showed him the creamy partially [...]

• Continue reading "Busted"

After a high-stress day, I came home to a box of ice cream in the mail. Was the universe sending me hate mail or a love letter? I couldn’t tell. I was sent the ice cream so I could sample it and write about it on the blog. I usually turn down offers like these because I don’t want to be seen as a corporate shill. However, she among us who can turn down chocolate fudge brownie is a better woman than I.

Only, the ice cream wasn’t at my front door. It was at the FedEx depot.

All I had was a claim sticker stuck to my door and the knowledge that a box of dry ice was sitting on a shelf somewhere near 90th street and I-69 (the highway of love). So, I drove about 8 miles, missed my turn and got lost in a corporate office park until I finally found the FedEx depot tucked behind a landscaping company that had a sign taped to their door which said, “This is not FedEx.”

When I [...]

• Continue reading "Two weeks of free ice cream – Tweet for Treats! (It’s a Twitter contest)"

I’ve attended a couple career fairs in the past, but I never saw a booth advertising this job – Cadbury chocolate taster! I suppose that’s the kind of job they don’t need to advertise. Even if I did see it listed in the classifieds, I’d probably think it was as genuine as the blurbs telling me I can make thousands of dollars a week at home stuffing envelopes. No college education required!

The only down side would be that you’d probably have to taste some unsuccessful chocolate experiments. The article explains some of the chocolate tasting jargon and mentions that the word “hammy” is used “if they detect overtones of putrefying meat.” Putrefying meat? Are they using the corpses of the chickens that lay the chocolate eggs in their products now?

Unless I migrate to Britain, I doubt I will ever get to be a Cadbury chocolate taster. However, there are evidently positions for ice cream tasters as well, and that guy in the article has got to die sometime, hopefully not from dairy-induced health trauma. The [...]

• Continue reading "There might be better jobs, but I don’t know what they are"