Saturday, November 1, 2008

1:40 pm – I pull into the parking lot at the north side early voting station, one of three locations in Marion County, easily located by glut of political signs in the grass. Front lot is packed.

1:42 pm – Pull into back parking lot driving past unimaginably long line which wraps past two buildings and ends at the dumpster. Is this the line to vote or for tickets for a mythical Led Zeppelin reunion tour? Consider going home, but doubt the line will be shorter on election day. Realize I would just lie on couch in post-Halloween stupor anyway. May as well stand in line on this lovely day in a post-Halloween stupor. Brought a book. I may be achy, but I am prepared.

1:45 pm – Get in line. Pull out my stopwatch and start timing.

1:46 pm – Already want to kill man in front of me. He is complaining on the phone that the line is “sick.” Somebody didn’t bring a book.

1:55 pm – A child and her mother walk past [...]

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While the current state of the US economy is about as funny as the obits section, what is funny are the photos accompanying most of the articles about economic gloom and doom. You can’t take a picture of the economy, so most media outlets are running photos of people reacting on the stock market floor. Except they are all reacting in the same way, which is rather humorous when you see the repetition over and over again in every article. I would show specific examples here, but out of fear of prosecution respect of copyright law, I will instead post my personal interpretation of the art accompany articles on the current economic crisis. It is a play in three acts.

Act 1: The stocks have fallen and they can’t get up.

Act 2: Oh wait, they have Life Alert (aka 700 billion from Congress). They can get up after all!

Act 3: You may have Life Alert, but your hip’s still broken. (Stocks plunge again. The world markets recoil.)

* Members of the media, feel free to use these [...]

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