This morning on the freeway I was passed by a house.

Technically, it’s a trailer, but it scared the reptile part of my brain as it passed me in the right lane. I swear I was going 70mph. I think there is a joke about “house flies” in here somewhere, but my brain is too tired to put it together, so you’ll have to assemble that joke yourself. I have an Allen wrench if you need it.

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A husky man with a little dog walks past my back porch every night at 7:15pm. Sometimes he is reading a book, other times he is playing a hand-held video game which I know is not called a Gameboy, but I want to call a Gameboy because I was born in 1980. Usually he is wearing a T-shirt, flip-flops and baggy gym shorts. Regardless of his outfit, every night at 7:15pm I burst into uncontrollable giggles, because it is very odd to have a strange man who is oblivious to my existence appear within 3 feet of me and then disappear as quickly as he came. I almost expect him to stroll through the sliding glass door, look up in a confused manner and mumble, “How’d I end up in this lady’s living room?” Then the cats would attack.

My new apartment has a back porch which faces the back of another row of apartments in the complex, divided by a stretch of grass which probably has a proper name defined in dictionaries, but I don’t [...]

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