Ok, I’m at the end of my rope on this, so I’m going to beg. This is me begging. Is anyone out there a tax adviser or tax attorney who can give me free advice? Last year I rolled over a 401K into a traditional IRA. This year my old employer sent me a letter saying that they can’t do math correctly and they rolled over an extra couple thousand dollars because of a vesting error, which they’d like back now. I have talked to several people, from my IRA custodian, Marketplace Money, a free legal-aid pension lawyer, and even the IRS. Yes, I voluntarily called the IRS. That is how crazy this shit has made me. I have Googled and researched and asked for help and wasted at least 8-10 hours of my life trying to figure this mess out, but I still have no fucking clue how to remove this money from the account with little or no penalties or excess fees. Can anyone help me on this? Please, Dear God. The end [...]

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I called the maintenance man to fix my kitchen light because it was obviously having wiring problems. I flipped the switch last week, the light flickered and then died. There are two bulbs in the light, so there was no way they would burn out at the same time. The kitchen light fixture is heavy and made of glass. I avoid removing it because one day I’ll try unscrewing it, lose my balance, break my neck and my cats won’t even be able to eat my body for sustenance because I will be surrounded by deadly broken glass.

So, the maintenance man came and checked my breaker box, flipping the switches enough times that I had to reset my stereo clock. Then he got on his ladder, unscrewed the light fixture, replaced my light bulbs and before God could say “Let there be light” the kitchen was bright enough that you could see all the food crumbs on the tile floor.

“Oh, wow, that was embarrassingly easy,” I said feeling dumber than the countertop.

“No problem,” he said, [...]

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