Two weeks ago, reader Christine asked me “I’m just wondering how it’s going not weighing yourself every day?” Well, Christine, I’d be happy to tell you if I’d actually stuck to it. Yes, I totally cheated. I’m a cheater. I also used to hide notes in the source code of programs on my TI-82 calculator back in high school math class too, so I’ve been a cheater for years now.

I did hold out for a week and a half. I was really tempted to hop on the scale after I had food poisoning because I’m sure the dehydration sucked off several pounds, even if they weren’t “real.” But I kept my ass on the couch. And when I saw my little kitty looking so slender in the kitchen, I was tempted to weigh myself and then weigh myself while I was holding him to determine his weight in the difference. But I resisted that urge to and got my mother to do it when we went out to lunch that weekend. Every time I opened [...]

• Continue reading "Weighing-in on January"

In the mid-90′s there was a TV show called Beakman’s World that ran Saturday mornings. It was like Mr. Wizard if the producers of that show were dropping acid and made one of Mr. Wizard’s co-stars dress up in a rat suit. I don’t think they ever said Beakman was a scientist, but he wore a lab coat, albeit a neon green lab coat, so it was heavily implied that he was scientific in some way even if his hair stuck up like Frankenstein’s bride.

Every week Beakman would answer science questions supposedly written in letters from kids around the world, though I always wondered if they came from kids around the crews’ familes’ dinner tables. He’d start each segment by reading one these letters like, “Kate from Los Angeles, California asks…” or “Jeff from Gooseneck, Minnesota wants to know…” Then they’d find some excuse to set off 100 mousetraps or set something on fire after telling us we should not try this at home without adult supervision.

I think I’ll emulate Beakman at the end of [...]

• Continue reading "Ask a loser: Is exercise a hobby?"

When I first graduated from college, I entered a period of my life where my learning was no longer institutionalized. It was up to me to seek out new knowledge simply because I wanted to and not because I needed to write a term paper on the topic the night before it was due. I suppose I could write a term paper, but who would I turn it in to? My old professors would probably get worried if I started slipping five page double-spaced essays under their office doors and started hanging out in the parking lot saying I used to go here. That’s what MFA programs are for!

No matter how much weight I lose, I’m always learning new things about health and fitness. For example, I just bought a new pair of running shoes because my old ones had worn through the inner lining on the heel. This has happened before and I just assumed my feet were deformed and misshapen and narrow in the heel. I was just grateful I didn’t have cloven [...]

• Continue reading "When do I graduate?"