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A Christmas mystery

It was so bizarre yesterday driving past stores to see entire parking lots deserted. It felt like a post-Armageddon world and made me slightly paranoid zombies might start marching down the road at any moment.

There was no mystery as to why the parking lots were deserted. Everyone deserves a day off from time to time, even if it means I have to go to Walgreens to buy drinks for Christmas dinner and wait in line behind the slowest walking people ever. However, I did encounter a small pre-Christmas mystery when I saw this on the sidewalk as I was walking to the YMCA during work on Tuesday:

I’ve seen shoes on the side of the road before, and sometimes even t-shirts or hats, but hair? Someone lost their hair? How did this happen? What were the events leading up to my discovery of a hairpiece on the side of the road. Dear readers, please regale me with tales of how this could have happened in the comments, for I am at a loss.

PS – Happy birthday, […]

Not a pretty girl?

Crap, I think I may be pretty.

I’ve never thought of myself as an ugly person, but I was never gorgeous either. The only time I’ve stopped traffic was the week I had crossing guard duty in 4th grade. I’m pretty sure the cars would have halted at the stop sign anyway, even if I hadn’t run into the street in my orange fluorescent jacket waving my big red octagon on a stick. I certainly think fat people can be beautiful, but I was ever one of them. I was homely, probably because I stayed at home a lot. In high school I’d never heard of the diffuser attachment for the blow dryer, nor did I use any anti-frizz sprays, so there may have been swallows nesting in my bushy hair and I wouldn’t have known it. I had braces. I wore glasses since second grade, but I never wore make-up. I was not a pretty girl, but that was okay. I had many other fine qualities and I didn’t care that much about how I […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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