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Attack of the Gummi Bears

In lieu of seeing the horsies at the Derby this weekend, I decided to see a spider at the movie theatre, or Tobey Maguire dressed up as one in Spider-man 3. But I was almost mauled by bears on the way to the stadium seating, gummi bears that is.

At the entrance to the theatre, the ticket-taker ripped my ticket in half and then handed me not only the stub, but a small plastic bag of gummi bears. That’s right, people are now literally shoving junk food into my hands. Maybe I need to start wearing a T-Shirt that says, “Please don’t feed the dieter.” As a kid we used to buy Snickers bars at the convenience store around the corner and smuggle the sugary contraband inside at the bottom of my mother’s purse, and now they’re giving the stuff away for free. They’re trying to take all the fun out of it, aren’t they? At least I still got a thrill by sneaking a can of generic Diet Cola inside by tucking it between […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

I added some fake Black Friday deals to this store's weekly in-store flyer - Album on Imgur
OMG, too funny!

Humans can sleep for days when living alone underground, experiments show - ScienceAlert
This is probably a sign that I've got problems, but the idea of sleeping for 30 hours sounds really appealing.

Justin Bieber chastised audience for clapping on the offbeat: The biggest challenge facing musicians at shows is audiences with bad rhythm.
I'm linking to this because of the video of Harry Connick Jr. at the bottom, who manages to throw in an extra beat in the middle of a song to get people to start clapping on the offbeat without them even realizing. Mad skillz!


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