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Slicing to the core

January 4, 2008 at 7:03 am

I bought myself an apple slicer for Christmas. Actually, I bought an apple slicer and it happened to be December. Strangely, everything I buy for myself between Thanksgiving and December 25th automatically becomes a Christmas present to myself. Check out those 12-packs of soda I got myself for Christmas! Does the holiday themed aluminum can count as gift wrapping?

I saw the apple slicer at Target and was immediately reminded why I don’t let myself browse that store much anymore. It’s because I buy stuff. Like apple slicers and silicone muffin pans in the shape of hearts and $5.50 DVDs that I will never watch. Thankfully, I have already used the apple slicer, like this:

Isn’t that awesome?! I positioned the tool over an apple, pressed down, and instantly I cored and sliced it into 8 pieces. I didn’t even have to press that hard. The only way it could be more perfect is if it peeled the apple too, but then I’d have no use for my paring knife, so I guess it’s for the best. [...]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.