The Commit to Fit program is based in part on the goal of Jared Fogle aka Jared the Subway Guy to run the New York City Marathon this year. I met Jared in Indianapolis a few months ago, see!

Not only is he tall, he’s maintained a massive weight loss for over 10 years, which is deserving of a round of applause. No, really, please clap for the man. If you’re reading at work, golf claps will do. I also applaud Jared for training for a marathon. I ran a half-marathon a few years ago, and Subway would have to give me much more than a free gym bag to convince me to run a full one. Actually, they’d have to give me lots of money and promise that I could land in a bed of cupcakes at the end.

The idea behind Commit to Fit is for you to set your own fitness goal. You don’t have to run a marathon (thank God). I have been in a bit of a fitness slump the past year, so when I was considering whether to participate in this program or not, I was swayed by the hope that it will be a good motivator to get my own butt in gear. (It has also forced me to learn how to spell “commit.” Two Ms, one T. Take note!) I still haven’t decided on my fitness goal, but it will probably be something like a 5K race or signing up for a class I’ve never taken before, like Zumba. (Suggestions are welcome.)

You have to dress for success, so even though I haven’t decided on my goal, I can start looking cute for it. As part of the “Getting Pumped Up in Style” giveaway, Subway has provided for me a Gaiam gym bag, yoga mat and $50 gift card to Lulu Lemon, a retailer of yoga-inspired athletic apparel. You can win this prize in this giveaway.

To enter, leave a comment on this post either 1) stating your own Commit to Fit challenge or 2) if you have a problem with commitment, you can suggest a challenge for me. Only residents of the US may enter. (Sorry, my foreign friends.) The contest ends at 11:59pm on Sunday, October 10th 2010.

Subway also has a Commit to Fit page on Facebook that explains it in more detail and gives you the opportunity to win more prizes. There will be a few more Commit to Fit posts in the coming weeks, and a few more giveaways, so even if you don’t win the gym bag you’ll have a chance to not win something else later.

Disclosure: The prizes listed in this post were provided for free.

One year ago was the last time I got up at 7:00am to drive to the full-time job I enjoyed so much that it made me want to freelance full-time. (Lesson learned: Me and big corporations do not mix.) July 8th, 2009 was a Wednesday. I’d originally intended to give my notice on a Friday, but I got halfway through the week and just couldn’t take it anymore. Some problem I can’t remember sprung up at the beginning of the day and I started thinking, What the hell am I waiting for? So, I walked into the boss’s office and said good-bye.

I know a lot of people fantasize about doing that and imagine it as a gleeful moment of emancipation. While I was definitely happy with my decision, the actual moment of resigning was a scary swirl of emotions, like good feelings and bad feelings had collided like high pressure fronts and low pressure fronts, creating an emotional tornado. I instant-messaged my best friend at work, telling her, “OK, I’m going to do it. Wish me luck.” Then I got up and headed to the office like a walking Jell-O mold, quivering inside with the knowledge of what I was about to do.

Once you turn in that resignation letter, you’ve crossed the point of no return. I almost felt like I was about to rob a bank or break into someone’s house. I was going to commit an act I could not easily undo. Yeah, I was certain I wanted to do it, but I also knew I could be broke and unemployed a year later if things didn’t work out right. Plus, my boss was a nice guy, and I felt bad that my departure would put a strain on the department. Granted, I didn’t feel bad enough about it to stay though.

I entered the office, closed the door and stumbled through my prepared speech. My boss understood where I was coming from, even if he wasn’t thrilled to see me leave. And then, God dammit, my eyes got a little bit too full of salt water and an itty-bitty tear slinked down my cheek. Damn you, emotions! Why must you make me look weak and girly?!

Two weeks later, we had my going-away party and then I was on my own. I woke up the next day at eight o’clock, cooked some oatmeal and made some coffee, establishing a new routine, the morning ritual of a real-life freelancer. Than I got on my computer and started figuring things out. And here I am, 12 months later, still not broke! I’m happy not to be living under a bridge, especially since it’s hard to steal a wi-fi signal through concrete. I still feel a bit weird telling people I am a freelancer, as if I’m telling them I’m a traveling gypsy or a circus performer. As if they’ll say, “Really? People actually do that?” Still, it feels less strange than telling people I’m a writer, which always seems a tad pretentious to me, though I should probably get over that already.

When I look back over the past few years, I can see that the moment I really started to take charge of my life was back in 2005 when I started to lose 200 pounds. I don’t believe you have to be thin to be happy, but spending two years working towards a seemingly impossible goal and actually getting there made me feel like a lot of other stuff was possible that used to seem impossible. So, even though I’ve gained back some of the weight I lost, I haven’t lost that feeling that I can steer my life the direction I want to. I quit my job. I moved to a different town. Dunno what I’ll do next, but I know I can do it, whatever it is.

I must say, you guys have been instrumental in allowing me to establish this new lifestyle. I’ve gotten tons of referrals from people who read my blog or who I’ve met through blogging. This little blog here has let me do a lot of amazing things, and I’m so grateful to everyone who has helped make it happen. Big thanks to my Internet peeps!

K, now back to work.

Here’s where I stand with my 2009 goals:

1) Continue to pursue headache treatments

I first went to the headache clinic in January of 2009. Within a few months, we were managing my headache much better, though not ridding me of it completely. We’re still tweaking meds, but overall this goal was pretty much met.

2) Work to become full-time freelancer

I chucked my job in July of 2009 and haven’t looked back. I don’t know how I ever coped with working in an office in the first place. I still don’t have a long-term health insurance solution, but I’ll deal with that at the end of 2010. Another goal accomplished!

3) Maintain my weight with regular fitness and health eating

I’m going to give myself a C+ on this one. I continued to gain weight at the beginning of the year, but I’ve been maintaining for the past several months. I could do better, but managing the headache comes before weight loss, even in this list.

4) Secret goal I will not reveal because I like driving you crazy

Also, I did absolutely nothing to work on this goal, so major FAIL on my part.

5) Travel outside the country

Done. I saw London, I saw France! I only packed four pairs of underpants! (Travel light, and do laundry in the sink.)

Overall, pretty good job, but there is room for improvement. After some thought, here are my goals for 2010:

1) Secret goal I will not reveal to preserve an air of mystery

2) Lose at least 20 pounds by July.

3) Travel to at least 3 new places.

4) Finish and promote headache memoir

5) Another secret goal, in case I hadn’t driven you mad already.

I’ve printed my goals and taped them to my desk. Now I just have to achieve them!

I am so grateful for having that job for the past 18 months. It gave me respectable health insurance benefits during a period of medical distress. It paid well enough for me to cover my medical bills while also saving up money for this leap. I got to work in an office where my coworkers genuinely enjoyed each other’s company (most of the time). I learned a lot about web design and how corporate politics work (or don’t work). I benefited a lot from that job, but it was time to go and there was no use in denying it.

At this point you may be hollering at your screen, “PastaQueen, have you not seen the eleventy billion reports about the economy?! Do you not know that 9.7% of the population does not have employment?! How can you possibly dare to quit your job? Have you been drinking the crazy juice?!” Why, yes I have, and mmmmm is it tasty!

If you have read this blog for more than 5 seconds, you will know I almost never do anything without a plan, a couple spreadsheets and detailed graphs. I have looked at my budget and my finances. I have written a business plan with concrete goals, dates, and numbers. I have paid off all my debts, save for a student loan which has such a low interest rate that it basically accounts for the rate of inflation. I have saved up 6 months of living expenses. I have cut expenses by moving to a new apartment.

Most importantly, I have mined several freelancer friends for advice. They’ve told me about the ungodly amount of work it is. They’ve told me how scary it is to have no work one month and then too much work the next. They’ve told me that I will not be able to find decent, affordable health insurance. They’ve let me know that if I do not socialize and stick to a schedule I will find myself “pantsless at 3pm, eating peanut butter out of a jar and staring at the television blankly.” They’ve told me that this is the worse they have ever seen the business during their 10 years experience. They have told me all these things and still I have been thinking, “Sign me up!” I suppose that means this is a calling, though personally I wish I’d been called to be a rich lawyer or doctor instead of a poor writer/web designer.

This wisp of this a dream appeared in the back of my mind a couple years ago, and back in August of 2008 I wrote it down on paper and made it my secret goal, which drove many of you crazy. Sorry, I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend like many of you guessed, though a husband with health insurance would be fabulous to have right now.

Yesterday I drank a big beer at my going-away party and this morning I slept until 9:30am and now I am officially working for myself. We are three hours into it and it is going well so far. As I said, I have 6 months of savings, plus some projects lined up which will earn at least another 6 months of income. I’ve been building up freelance web design clients on the side and have officially launched my blog design company, Make My Blog Pretty. If you are in need of web design services, please check it out. I will be at the BlogHer Conference in two weeks, handing out business cards and hopefully generating more business. I am also looking for writing gigs that will bring in the cash, so if you know any of those, feel free to contact me. I promise to keep you updated about any other projects I contribute to in the future.

I also want to say, “Thank you.” If I didn’t have this blog which led to that book, and if I didn’t have all the support you guys have given me, I don’t know if I would have the confidence to do this. I believe in myself. I’m betting on myself. Five years ago I wouldn’t have done that. Sometimes people say weight loss is silly or vain, but losing all that weight taught me what it was like to make a dream come true. It taught me that absurdly great goals can be achieved. It’s made me the type of person who will run off to Europe because she feels like it and who will quit her job because she wants to do something else with her life.

I am relieved to finally be here. There was a day back in April when I sat down in front of my computer and looked at my to-do list which included:

• Work at full-time job
• Plan trip to Europe
• Find cheaper place to live
• Work on a zillion freelance projects
• Exercise and eat well
• Maintain blog
• Make business plan for freelancing

As I reviewed everything I had to do in those next few months, I thought I might collapse on my mouse pad and be brought to the hospital for exhaustion, like Mariah Carey or Jay Leno. “I have taken on far, far, too much,” I thought. But there was no stopping it. I couldn’t place anything on hold. Somehow I soldiered through and here I am on the other side, still with many things to do, but significantly less stressed about it all. If I have seemed a bit distracted lately, or somewhat off my game, that is why. I hope to pay more attention to the blog now that I’m not running off in a billion directions every day.

Now I am three hours and 15 minutes into my new career, and things are still going well, though I’m getting a bit hungry and will go make myself lunch. I hope I don’t start eating everything in the kitchen now that I’m working from home.

On the down side, I read an article announcing that tomorrow is the First Annual Freelancers Put On Your Pants Day. Sheesh, I’ll only be one day into my new career by then and already they are setting such high demands!

1) Promote my book as well as I can.

2) Meet new people and nourish current relationships.

3) Secret goal I’m not going to blog about.

I set three goals because I read that is the number of goals you can realistically achieve in a year. Many people fail to reach their goals because they try to do eight things at once. They want to keep their house clean and lose weight and organize their finances and become the Parcheesi world champion and get a promotion and learn to sew and volunteer more in their community and invent a cloning machine, because that final task is the only way you will ever be able to make so many changes in a year. There is only so much time, so it’s better to pick three big tasks and concentrate on those. It increases the likelihood that you will actually accomplish them. So, I typed my three goals, printed them out, and taped them above my desk so I could see them every day. (Then I realized that visitors could see these goals, so I moved them to the bedroom because I am secretive like that. And now I’m blogging about them publicly because I’m weird like that.)

I’m surprised to say, this has actually worked.

1) Promote my book as well as I can

I’m ready to cross this one off. Mission accomplished, no big banners on aircraft carriers necessary. I worked my ass off promoting Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir. I built a book site, planned a book party, tried some creative promotions, and did press in TV, radio, and print. I had my last scheduled radio interview last week, so my promotional work for the book is basically done. I’ll be happy to take any future opportunities to talk about it, but the big push is over and it went very well. No regrets.

2) Meet new people and nourish current relationships

I am a homebody and a bit of a loner, but I know that it’s important to make new friends for personal fulfillment, for business reasons, and just because new people can be damn interesting. I also hear having friends makes you live longer and be healthier, so it’s in my best interest not to sit alone in my apartment all weekend. However, I knew I would never do this naturally on my own, so I made it an official goal.

It didn’t start out so well. I joined a running group to train for my half-marathon and promised to talk to three new people every week, but eventually chickened out on that front.

I got better though. Some days I wanted to get work done on various projects, but a friend or family member would invite me to do something. My first instinct was to say no so I could make progress on my projects, but then I would remember goal #2 and decide to go out. By making it an official goal, I felt less guilty making the choice because I wasn’t really ditching my project, I was choosing to work on the other project of being social.

I’ve made new friends at my new job. I also attended the BlogHer conference and the Blog Indiana conference, where I met tons of new people. I’m checking up on new blogs and I have a lot more social connections now than I did at this time in January. I’m making great progress on this goal and hope to keep it up.

3) Secret goal I’m not going to blog about.

This one is sort of personal, so I’m not going to blog about it. I’ve only really started to work on it in the past month or two and it’s still in the beginning phases. Things are going well, though.

The three-goal system has worked out pretty well for me, so I’m going to try to do this every year. It’s good to assess my life annually, look at where I am, and figure out where I want to be. Many people wonder why they can never get big stuff done, but if you work a little everyday towards the things you want, you can make progress. There are still days when I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done and I’ll never get where I want to be. But other days I do get a little bit ahead, and eventually all those little bits add up to something bigger.

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m slipping out of my groove and I know that I need to do something about it now or regain 50 pounds. The former sounds much more appealing than the latter. I have a lot of sympathy for people who regain weight, but I do not want to be one of them. So, here’s my plan of attack:

PastaQueen’s Not-So-Secret Plan of Attack

1) Write down my goals. I need to know where I’m going or else how will I know when I’ve gotten there?

2) Identify my problems. I did this in the last post.

3) Create strategies to overcome my problems. The word “strategy” makes me sound like I’m planning a military campaign, but boot camp makes you fit, right?

So, I already identified my problems. Let me lay out my goals and my strategies. Goals need to be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. A goal like “Eat better” is nice and all, but too vague to be of any use. How are you going to know if you are eating better? A better goal would be “Eat three fruits and vegetables a day.” This is something specific that you can do and is easy to see if you are accomplishing. I recently posted some non-weight goals for 2008 on the wall above my computer so I’m reminded every day of what I want to achieve. It’s all rather cheesy, but it tends to work so I’m just going to have to get over my lactose intolerance on this one.

My Health, Fitness and Body Goals for 2008

1) Run the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon. I thought about setting a time goal for myself, but honestly I’d just like to finish this thing without injuring myself along the way.

2) Run a 5K at a 9:30 a mile pace. My fastest and only 5K time was at a 10:31 minute a mile pace. After I train for the half-marathon, I think I can get that fast.

3) Try at least one exercise class/sport I haven’t tried before. Variety is the spice of life.

4) Fit into size 10 jeans. When I was at my largest, I thought a size 10 would be a great size to end up at. Right now I’m wearing size 12 jeans.

5) Do not weigh-in over 186 pounds. I had to lose 186 pounds to weigh 186 pounds, half my weight. I want to stay on this side of half of me.

6) Lose the last 20 pounds. I keep flopping back and forth on this one. I did set 160 pounds as my goal weight and there are many reasons I’d like to get there. However, I don’t care that much about the scale anymore. I don’t want to gain any weight back, but I can name at least 5 other things that are more important in my life than losing 20 pounds. I know I write a weight-loss blog, but ultimately losing all this weight has allowed me to live my life, a life where I don’t care that much about weight loss. I care about my health and fitness and maintaining what I have lost, but losing any more weight…eh. The best reason I can think of to lose 20 pounds is because I’m going to be promoting a weight-loss memoir in 4 months, but that’s a pretty crappy reason to lose weight. It’s based entirely on other people’s expectations of me and that’s no way to live. I also think if I put a lot of pressure on myself to lose 20 pounds in 4 months, the stress would backfire on me and I’d end up binging. While I would not be unhappy to wake up tomorrow weighing 20 pounds less, it’s in my best interest not to get obsessed with that number and instead to focus on maintenance, health and fitness.

Okay, I’ve got some goals. What are my strategies?

PastaQueen’s Super Cool Strategies

1) Join a gym. The National Body Challenge from Discovery Health is offering an 8-week FREE pass to Bally Total Fitness. You have to sign up by January 11, 2008 to get the pass and it can only be used until March 2, 2008. No doubt Bally will also try to get you to sign up for a full membership and a personal trainer and shake you down for smoothie money once you’re in there, but I’m willing to give it a try. I’ve never joined a gym before, so I’d like to try out these spinning classes I’ve heard everyone talk about. Bally is only about 10 minutes away from my house and I think a change of scenery might help me get revved up about exercising. The thought of my treadmill in the bedroom isn’t really doing it for me right now. I would like to apologize in advance to all regular gym goers for being one of those annoying newbie January members who will be hogging your elliptical machine next week.

2) Index cards of inspiration. Oh man, the index cards make feel completely loony, but I’m going to try them anyway. My only real problem with eating right now is binging in the evenings. I’ve written reasons I want to lose weight on several index cards which I’ve set on my kitchen counter. The next time I want to go on a binge in the evening, I’m going to make myself read these stupid index cards and hopefully they will convince me to put down the fudge pop. I have no idea if they’ll work. I do know that part of the reason I’m eating too much in the evenings is because at that moment I care more about eating than I do about weight maintenance. The cards might help me rebalance my priorities at that moment. Part of losing weight is admitting that you don’t do it through strength of will alone. You have to acknowledge your weaknesses and make plans to circumvent them. And if they don’t work, at least my cat likes to play with them.

3) Do what worked before. Basically, I’m going to make myself start working out in the mornings again. I’m going to focus on eating more fruits, vegetables and lean meats and less carbs. And I’ll keep on blogging about what’s happening. I know how to lose weight, I just need to actually do it.

Those are my goals and strategies for now. I’ll monitor my weight and see how things go. At the end of January I’ll do another evaluation and make any adjustments or set new goals and strategies if necessary. Sound like a plan?

During the time I was excreting half my bodily fluids out my nose, I went four days without exercising, the longest period of non-activity I’ve experienced since the days when I had to rock back and forth to heave myself off the couch. When I was stressed, I ate about three pints of ice cream, the most dairy I’ve eaten in a week since I was breastfeeding. I didn’t eat much for Thanksgiving dinner, but made up for it during dessert by devouring several helpings of Dirt Cake, a delicious trifle with alternating layers of crumbled Oreos and cream cheese mixed with powdered sugar.

That’s not an apology. That’s life. I was fully aware of what I was doing and I’d probably do it again, though I may limit it to two pints of ice cream the next time. I don’t really care because through it all I stayed below or only slightly above 180 pounds. That’s the weight where I string up the yellow police tape that says “Danger! Danger! Do not cross!”

My biggest obstacle to getting to goal is that some days I don’t care about it that much. As long as I am under 180, I’m satisfied with my size. That is the magic weight where I no longer shop in the plus-size department and I can buy bras in brick and mortar stores instead of on the Internet. As long as I’m also exercising and eating well 90% of the time, I feel healthy and energized and life is good.

Some days I care a lot about getting to goal. I’d like to have a buffer of twenty pounds between my maximum weight limit and my current weight. I set a goal and I’d like to experience the pride of achieving it. I know knocking off another ten or twenty pounds would allow me to run faster and beat my personal record for the 5K and run a faster half-marathon.

Some days I see Dirt Cake and I don’t care how fast I can run.

I know some of you will suggest that I just let it go and name 180 as my maintenance weight and be done with it. I understand that point of view and maybe a year from now I’ll agree with you. But for now I’m going to keep working towards 160. I like having that goal. I like working towards it. If I were to reset my goal at 180, I might suddenly think 190 was okay and then 200 and then even my “fat” pants wouldn’t fit. Maybe it’s better to keep striving towards that asymptote line even it’s unreachable? Maybe it’s nice to have a dream?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want out of life. For most of my existence, the first wish I would have asked of a genie in a lamp was to please, please, please make me thin. I got my wish. Now I have to figure out what to do with those other two wishes in my queue. My weight used to define me, but it’s become so much less important in my life that it’s time to issue a revised version of the dictionary. I’ll always have to watch my weight. I’ll always have to kick myself in the ass when I start skipping weight sessions like I have this month. The struggle will always be there. But it’s silent work that only the Internet and I know about.

So, I’m not giving up. I’m not pitching out my goal. But I’m admitting it’s not as important as it was when I started this trip. I’ve seen so much beautiful scenery on the way that I don’t quite remember where I thought I was headed when I started walking on that treadmill in the green exercise room of our old house three years ago. I doubt it really matters anymore. There are so many crossroads ahead, detours to take, and scenic routes to explore. As long as I’m happy, healthy and traveling with friends and family, I’ll go where life takes me. Some day it might even take me to my planned destination.

After two years of losing weight and blogging, I’ve lost 180 pounds and I got a nice mention in a national newspaper. What other things could I have achieved in two years?

I could have:

• Gotten an associate’s degree in business, so when I take over the world I’ll also have a very nice marketing plan to pitch the cardiovascular benefits of trench digging.
• At an episode a day, watched almost all of the 400 episodes of The Simpsons twice.
• Paid off 2/3 of my car loan, thus owning everything from the trunk forward.
• Run a campaign for president, if I were older than 35 and the thought of politics didn’t induce bulimia.
• Painted half the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel and eliminated my underarm flab.
• Developed a video sharing site more popular than breathing and sold it to Google for $1.65 billion dollars.

There’s a lot you can do in two years. Here’s to 2009 and the possibilities ahead.

When I started, I was hoping to reach goal in two years. We’re a bit behind on that. I might be dieting, but losing 200 pounds in 2 years was biting off more than I could chew. At the time two years seemed like forever and a day, so I couldn’t bring myself to set goal for any longer. Here’s a chart of my losses, the red line being the trajectory for hitting goal on time. Click on it for the bigger version:

Through April I was outpacing the red goal line, thinking this would be easy peasy. Then I started keeping pace with it, but by June of 2006 I’d crossed over to the other side of the line. Now I’m about as far behind schedule as a government-run road construction project. It doesn’t really matter since the timeline was something I arbitrarily picked because I wanted to chart in years. Who would ever picka strange amount of time to hit goal in, like two years 7 months and 12 days? Years are just easier. But I would like to be at goal by the end of the year. Here’s hoping!

Two nights ago I dreamt I was fat again, complete with butt shelf. My butt used to stick out so far you could rest a set of Encyclopedia Britannica’s on it. I looked as fat as I had been when I weighed 300, but in the dream I knew I still weighed 195. I’d only hallucinated all the body changes over the past two years, like I was wrapped in a fairy glamour that had finally worn off. I looked at myself in the mirror to see that my clothes were wrinkled and ill-fitting. I don’t ever want to go back there. I don’t ever want those clothes to fit again.