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Do not enter! Oh wait, you can enter

I decided to take a stroll around the mall after getting my hair cut last week. The booth where they were tweezing people’s eyebrows by wrapping pieces of string around each hair was particularly fascinating. I don’t go to the mall that much and it’s always funny to be reminded that there are so many retailers that manage to eke out a living despite the fact that I’ve never heard of them. However, I had heard of Forever 21 from a friend who says their bargain-priced knock-offs of the latest styles are her guiltiest pleasure, even if they are somewhat cheaply constructed. You get what you pay for. As I was passing their glass display windows I had to tell myself, “Hey, PQ, you could go in there and shop now and the sales ladies won’t give you furtive judgmental glares and wonder what a fat ass like you is doing in their store. You don’t really have a fat ass anymore.” Then I thought, “Self, you are totally right. Even though the thought of [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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