It’s said that recovering alcoholics and former smokers put their tigers in cages, whereas food addicts take theirs out for walks 3 times a day. One of the quarks of food addiction is that food is a required substance. People often ask how do you cope with being addicted to something you need?

Well, the answer is that food addicts are not addicted to all foods. I’ve never heard of someone being addicted to broccoli. It might taste good roasted with olive oil and tossed with pine nuts and Parmesan cheese, but I’ve never sat on my couch thinking, “Oh my God, I want to binge on broccoli!” And even if I did, it’s broccoli. How much damage can a load of cruciferous vegetables really do? I’m not going to start sprouting green florets out of my head.

Most food addicts have trigger foods which are easy to identify because you usually find yourself plunged face first into them. Some people have weaknesses for salty snacks, but I am mostly undone by sweet foods, especially the crunchy [...]

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Before I realized I was a food addict, I’d been doing some reading on and off about the condition. The major sticking point for me was the same as some people’s responses in my post, which were, “Can you really be addicted to something that is essential to survive?” After all, we never hear about oxygen addicts. “That Bob, he just can’t get enough air! I wish he’d just hold his breath once in awhile.” I wondered if there were better terms for the condition, like “compulsive overeater” or “binge eater” or “Piggy McEatsalot.”

Ultimately, I decided the name doesn’t matter. A name is just a box we put ideas in. What matters is that I understand my relationship with food. Then I can start figuring out the consequences my environment, my thoughts, and my actions have on that relationship and make plans to manipulate these things to my best advantage. I don’t know what the official definition of addiction is, though I could look it up on dictionary.com or the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical [...]

• Continue reading "Addict is just a six-letter word"

I was sitting in the Kroger parking lot a couple weeks ago, about to buy something I knew I shouldn’t buy, to eat something I knew I shouldn’t eat, knowing it would only make me happy temporarily and fatter tomorrow, and knowing I was going to do it anyway. It was at this moment that the muse of displacing-personal-responsibility whispered in my ear about how wonderful it would be if I had a secondary stomach implanted. They could insert it right where my gallbladder used to be. Then I’d have the surgeons install a switch in my esophagus that would allow me to divert food into the dummy stomach not connected to my digestive track, allowing me to eat whatever I wanted without having to digest it. When the fake tummy became full, I could empty it manually through a hole in my abdomen. Or better yet, I could have it routed directly to the end of my large intestine to dump the food in the traditional manner!

It was at this point that I realized [...]

• Continue reading "I want birth control for food (that doesn’t make me shit my pants)"

They say addiction starts with a broken promise. You promise not to have a third drink and then you wake up the next morning with no memory of falling asleep in your own barf. You promise not to have a cigarette and then you’re bumming just one more from a friend. You promise not to overeat on Thanksgiving and then you go back for four pieces of cake and a piece of pie.

The fact that you have to make the promise shows that you have a problem. I’ve never had to promise not to take another drink because I don’t care much for alcohol. It makes my headache worse and I’ve never thought the buzz was worth all the calories. There’s a bottle of vodka that has been in my freezer since July and it will probably still be there next year. That’s how I know I’m not an alcoholic. However, I have often promised myself that I will only eat half the meal at a restaurant and then eaten the whole plate. I’ve promised [...]

• Continue reading "Hello, my name is Jennette and I’m a food addict"

It’s Girl Scout cookie time and I have yet to eat a Thin Mint or a Samoa or a Tagalong. (Mmmm, Tagalongs.) I wish I could only buy a couple cookies at a time because I don’t trust myself with an entire box. I’m trying to visualize a world in which I only eat 2 or 3 crunchy cookies of mint chocolate goodness a day even though there’s a whole box sitting in my cupboard. Honestly, it’s easier to imagine a world where Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama bake Girl Scout cookies together while singing Eminem songs. As unlikely as the second scenario is, I can actually imagine it in my head. The first situation, not so much.

Which brings me back to the idea of food addiction, something I’ve been pondering on and off the past couple months ever since I read that book, Hungry by Allen Zadoff. I’m still not sure what to make of the concept of food addiction, though Zadoff is a firm believer in it. However, reading that book did [...]

• Continue reading "What would you do for a Thin Mint?"