Disclosure: I was sent a case of 8 Fage Yogurt cups and compensated by BlogHer to review this product.

The last time I tried Fage Greek Yogurt, I was not impressed. To be specific, I said “it tasted like diaper rash cream.” Several months ago I was prodded to have it again, or more accurately I had 1/4 a bottle of agave nectar with a lil’ Fage mixed in. It was delicious! Because I love sugar like my own child! A child I would eat! Then I drank the rest of the agave nectar in two days and decided it was best not to do that too frequently.

Recently I was asked by BlogHer Ads to review all four flavors of Fage 2% as well as the plain Fage 0%. (The percents refer to the type of milk used to make the yogurt.) The packaging says Fage is pronounced Fa-yeh! (exclamation point theirs). I’m sure if anyone had peaked in my fridge, they would have exclaimed, “What the Fage is all that yogurt doing in your fridge?”

Fage Yogurt is a Greek style yogurt, which means it’s thicker. As their web site says, the yogurt is “100% natural” and “contains no sweeteners, thickeners, or preservatives.” Thankfully for people like me who frown on the “no sweeteners” policy, some Fage 2% cups come packaged with flavoring: Strawberry, Cherry, Peach, and Honey. The packaging reveals the first three have 130 calories, but the last one has 180 calories, so if you’re being calorie conscious you might want to skip the honey. The packaging for the flavor packs is rather clever. Once you peel off the foil lid, you can tip the sauce half of the cup 180 degrees to pour it on the yogurt. Since it had been in the fridge, I had to use my spoon to get all the chilly flavoring out, which was of similar consistency as fruit preserves.

I mixed up the flavoring with the yogurt for all the packages and they were all quite delicious. The trick for me to enjoy Fage is to use the yogurt as a delivery device for the fruit or honey. Then I have a snack that’s sweet, thick, and creamy in texture. However, I didn’t mix my yogurt up all the way and was left with a bit of plain Fage at the bottom. Without flavoring the Fage yogurt is too sour and plain for my tastes. However, some people have suggested that those qualities make it a good substitution for sour cream in recipes.

I thought it was interesting the flavored Fage comes in 2% and Total, but not 0%. I can only guess that they think if you’re cutting calories you don’t want the flavors. So, you’ll have to provide your own honey or agave nectar for that style. Which is a shame, because I can’t be trusted with a whole bottle of honey and I’d probably buy a 0% flavor pack if it were available. You can find out more about Fage Yogurt on their web site. You can win some free yogurt too. Visit the BlogHer yogurt sweepstakes page here.

Officer Krupke would give Fage a thumbs up if he had thumbs!

I bought both the 0% and the 2% variety to compare tastes. I tried the yogurt in several different recipes. I ate it raw just to get a taste of it. I mixed it with some blueberries as a snack. I put it on some sliced peaches with cinnamon like Jen did. I also tried Kalyn’s recipe for Greek Yogurt with Agave Nectar and Pecans because just looking at the photo made me want to eat the JPG and burp up some pixels. I ate a lot of this yogurt in a lot of different ways.

I’m really sorry to say this, but it tasted like diaper rash cream.

Actually, I cannot say with 100% certainty that it tasted like diaper rash cream because I have never squeezed a tube of Desitin onto my peaches. Perhaps it tastes more like vaginal cream, but I’ve never snacked on Monistat either, so I can’t say for sure. I will say it tasted like what I imagine those products taste like. It was thick and sour and a very “meh” taste experience. I ended up dumping a lot of Splenda into my blueberry and yogurt mix because it was just too sour for my taste. The agave nector however was really great and I’ll definitely be using that on pancakes and devising other devious ways to sneak it into my meals.

I’ve never liked the taste of plain yogurt in any variety, so perhaps that is a factor in my dislike for Fage. I am, after all, the person who used to eat frosting straight out of the can and snacked on Kool-Aid crystals for fun. I like the sweet stuff. Fage ain’t sweet. It’s also possible that this product was built up so high in my mind that there was no way it could have met my expectations. I was disappointed that it not only didn’t taste good but that it didn’t also cure bad breath, wash my car, and pay all my bills. I was half-expecting to have an orgasm right in front of the dishwasher after eating a spoonful. That didn’t happen.

The only thing I could possibly see myself doing with Fage is using it as a substitute for cream cheese or sour cream in other recipes, assuming it is lower in calories. I know I am in the minority here and I’m sure I’ll get dozens of comments on this entry with recipes that I should try that will finally open my mind to the greatness that is Fage. But I am doubtful, people. I just don’t think it’s my thing.

Believe me, this is worse for me than it is for you because I shall always be on the outside looking in on your love for this yogurt, never quite understanding the appeal. I will be like the person who doesn’t understand the greatness of the original Star Wars trilogy or someone who can’t understand why a show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer could ever be successful. Everyone will look at me and wonder, “What the hell is wrong with her? How can anyone not love Fage?” But that’s just the way it’s going to be. And that’s okay. I’m glad you all love it. Please, enjoy your Fage. But I think I’m going to pass it up, even if there is a freshly spilled container on the supermarket floor begging for me to lick it up.

* Random side note: One person commented in that thread that she makes her own yogurt. Wow, I thought I was hardcore because I make my own whole wheat bread (in my breadmaker), but I think the homemade-yogurt woman beats me.