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Things never happen the same way twice

Photo by thingsarebetterwithaparrott / by NCND 2.0 CC

My neurologist told me to lose weight and I thought, “So, it has come to this, has it?” The last time a doctor told me to lose weight, I weighed about 350 pounds and was preparing to have my gallbladder removed. To make the day even more perfect, the neurologist’s nurse had weighed me on one of those old scales with big metal counterweights that slide left to right. I thought the digital revolution had rid us of those scales and the drawn out torture of watching the nurse politely start at a lower number and then slide, slide, slide, slide you up to a much bigger number.

I know people have various reactions to a doctor telling them they’re fat, but my first thought was, “Yeah, of course I need to lose weight.” Let us not forget the pant-splitting incident in January precipitated by the 50-pounds of headache weight gain (which I actually had forgotten until I was searching the archives for something else and found that entry). [...]

Review: GOLD MEDAL FITNESS from Dara Torres

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book to review.

You remember Dara Torres, right? She’s the forty-something, mom who has six-pack abs. You know, the one who swam her way to three Olympic medals two years ago, beating kids who hadn’t been born yet when she attended her high school prom. Depending on your outlook, she might inspire you to be fit despite your age or just make you feel depressed that you’re not in as good of shape as her. If it’s the latter, you now have a better chance at trying to keep up. Dara’s revealed some of the secrets of her training regimen in a book titled Gold Medal Fitness: A Revolutionary 5-Week Program written in collaboration with writer Billie Fitzpatrick.

The book has a conversational tone that intermixes Dara’s personal experiences with the technical information of her routine, making it an easy read. The program is based on what Dara’s learned about training smarter as she ages, and thus is targeted at women. As a swimmer, Dara’s program is focused on [...]

Radiolab: Limits

If the Radiolab podcast were a boy, I’d be doodling its name in my notebook with little hearts around it, and whenever it spoke to me I’d break out into a frenzy of nervous giggles. I totally crush on it.

For those of you who do not know the love of my life, Radiolab is a science podcast that explores the mysteries of nature. The latest episode might be of particular interest to anyone who’s run a marathon or has felt like they’ve run a marathon when they only signed up for a 5K. It covered human limits, and the first segment in particular explored the limits of our bodies. First, it told the story of an Ironman competitor who was so determined to finish, even though her body was shutting down, that she literally crawled across the finish line. She also pooped her pants on national TV. (The way to fame can be messy.) The video is below.

They also covered The Race Across America, in which competitors bike across the country over the [...]

Review: “The 10-Minute Total Body Breakthrough” by Sean Foy

PastaQueen reads a book. And finishes it! And tells you about it!

Visualizing vampires to run faster

When I am running, I try not to think about the fact that I’m running. That is because running sucks. Anyone who tells you running doesn’t suck is a liar. Have you ever seen the runners at the end of the Boston Marathon? They are thrilled to cross the finish line because it means they don’t have to run any farther. Even the fast people are exhausted at the end of the race.

I love running too, even though it sucks. I love the happy chemicals it releases in my body. I get a great feeling of accomplishment after I survive a race. Sometimes, I even feel like a graceful, yet powerful gazelle, jaunting across the Sahara, even though I probably look more like a chubby housecat sprinting for a bag of Friskies. Still, running is uncomfortable. It makes me breathe hard and leaves me very sweaty and sticky and stinky.

This is why I try to ignore the fact that I am running while I am running. I didn’t quite realize that I was doing, until [...]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a twenty-something smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). Contact her.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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