There’s nothing on

My television won’t turn on. Either this is part of a conspiracy by the booksellers of America to get me to buy more paperbacks, or Philips electronics manufactured a faulty power regulator thing-a-ma-bobby-gig. A couple weeks ago I ditched my clunky, cathode-ray TV at Goodwill because, ironically enough, it wouldn’t turn off. If I could merge these two devices, perhaps I’d get a TV that functioned properly.

I tried unplugging the TV and then plugging it back in. This worked a few times, but the magic must have run out because all that does now is make me feel slightly dizzy from all the bending over and getting up. I’ve left the TV unplugged for a whole day and then plugged it in again and I still can’t get it to light up. So I called Philips and they’re sending me a new one, which hopefully is not defective.

The strange thing is, the TV broke two weeks ago and I only called Philips yesterday. One would think I’d have the TV DT’s by now, but I’m [...]

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