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Looking good under fluorescent lights

I finally renewed my driver’s license last month. Between the 190 pound weight loss and the LASIK, I was mildly worried I would get to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) and they’d accuse me of strangling the real Jennette Fulda, stuffing her in a deep freeze, and stealing her identity. If I had been hit by a bus on the way there, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the police report said, “There was no identification on the victim’s body, but she appears to have mugged a fat girl before she was run over.”

The clerk at the counter, who had far better hair and complexion than I’d expect from an employee of the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, asked me, “Has any information on your driver’s license changed since your last renewal? Are you still 5′ 9″ and weigh 250 – whoa, girl you do not weigh 250 pounds.”

I admitted I didn’t even weigh 250 pounds when I said I weighed 250 pounds. She congratulated me and thankfully did not accuse me of identify theft. […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

I added some fake Black Friday deals to this store's weekly in-store flyer - Album on Imgur
OMG, too funny!

Humans can sleep for days when living alone underground, experiments show - ScienceAlert
This is probably a sign that I've got problems, but the idea of sleeping for 30 hours sounds really appealing.

Justin Bieber chastised audience for clapping on the offbeat: The biggest challenge facing musicians at shows is audiences with bad rhythm.
I'm linking to this because of the video of Harry Connick Jr. at the bottom, who manages to throw in an extra beat in the middle of a song to get people to start clapping on the offbeat without them even realizing. Mad skillz!


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