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I want to set some cheese on fire!

“Opa!” Our waitress exclaimed and then she lit our cheese on fire.

This was one of two reasons my mother and my brother had decided to go to the Greek restaurant to celebrate his birthday (the other being the rumor of a belly dancer that remained a rumor). We never miss an opportunity to set dairy products ablaze, especially if we’re not the ones risking 3rd degrees burns on our forearms.

After the flames died down in the silver platter of cheese in our waitress’s hand, she set it on the table and placed a basket of bread right under my nose. After she walked away, I picked up the basket and placed it as far away as my unburned forearms would reach.

“No cheese for me,” I said before anyone could ask. I kept my hands folded in my lap, waiting for the salad I had ordered earlier. I stared at the map of Greece on the far wall next to the CD player who’s LCD let me know track number fourteen was playing. The three-tiered [...]

Officer Krupke is my weight loss hero

While I have been maintaining my weight for the last several months, my cat has been putting me to shame. Officer Krupke is down 3.5 pounds since August. According to Hill’s Pet Fit site, Krupke was the human equivalent of 40 pounds overweight. Now he’s only 9 pounds above average. He’s lost 30 pet pounds! Don’t worry. I haven’t been starving him and he doesn’t have any horrible diseases. He’s been on a vet supervised diet, and it seems diets do work with cats.

I started to notice Krupke’s weight loss in the same way that I noticed my own. When I was petting down his back last week I felt bones that I hadn’t felt before, just like how I felt my pelvic bones after I’d lost about 100 pounds. Krupke also seems to be prone to the same cravings and binges as humans. Last night I caught him licking grease from my George Foreman grill after I cooked a steak. I pulled him off the kitchen counter immediately, but got distracted by food [...]

The same, but different

I used to get bored on long car trips as a child. This was before they sold SUVs with DVD players or iPhones or personal MP3 players. Back in the 80′s you played license plate bingo or you hit your brother. After 12 hours of driving from the Midwest to the east coast, this could get very boring and if I could have stopped the car and gotten out to watch some She-Ra instead I would have. I think this is one of the reasons people fail at weight loss. They get bored and they stop the car.

There’s a strange conundrum to weight loss, an oxymoron almost, that you must keep doing the same thing over and over again but differently enough to keep you interested. I have to exercise day after day, but if I do the same Pilates routine for too many weeks in a row, I start to dread rolling out my mat. I have to eat healthy day after day too, but if I eat the same foods over and over [...]

Weighing in on September

There has been no 180 on my weight this month because I’m still weighing in at 180. This does not bother me since I’m glad I’ve been maintaining my loss. That’s 32 months straight with no significant gains. I also have to admit that for the past couple of months I’ve been in a maintenance frame of mind. Weight loss is nice, but now that I can buy bras in the stores (Yay, 36A!) and pants in the misses section (Double yay, size 12!), it doesn’t seem quite so urgent.

However, I also have to admit I don’t want to weigh more than 180 ever again. At the most I never want to pop back over 186, which was the point where I officially lost half my weight. If I get bigger than I am now it’s back to plus-sized jeans and ordering bras online. I’d like to have at least a 10 pound buffer area so I have time to correct course if I ever do start gaining back weight. Right now I don’t have [...]

Eat, drink and be merry

I recently proposed that we needed to come up with a word to describe someone who wasn’t fat, but wasn’t really thin either. While we’re revising the lexicon, I think we need to decide what the word “diet” is supposed to mean. Maybe we should just throw the word out completely and recycle the letters for use in other words. The word “diet” has so many connotations that using the word is like wielding a blunt object. It’s imprecise. It causes a lot of confusion. It makes me sound like I’m subsisting solely on tofu and rice cakes.

“Dieting” has a lot of negative baggage. If you’re on a diet it’s implied that someday you will go off a diet. It’s a temporary state of existence, like a month-to-month lease. Dieting implies another “d” word – deprivation. Dieters are accused of starving themselves and going hungry. It’s implied that if you break any of your diet’s multiple rules you are a very bad person indeed. Violators will have their knuckles rapped with their diet books and [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Game of Thrones rape: Director Alex Graves says the sex "becomes consensual."
Totally agree with this article. Definitely the worst mistake the series has ever made.

Runaway stowaway survives Calif.-Hawaii flight: FBI - CBS News
If this had happened in a movie I would never have believed it was possible.

Fitbit, Nest data: How the companies are making money off you.
I don't have a FitBit or an employer, but if I did I wouldn't want them sharing information.

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