The most important person in the history of the world ever!

“Did you hear about Michael Jackson?” my aunt Donna asked me. I mumbled, “Yeah,” because properly attaching my beautiful, blue bike to the bicycle rack on her car seemed more important than the death of a pop star. Michael Jackson was already dead, after all, but if I didn’t figure out these straps and plastic doohickeys, my dear sweet Bluebell might die too, underneath the wheels of an SUV not leaving enough following distance. (Three seconds, people! Remember that when you’re renewing your license.)

Little did I know that THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD EVER had just died!!!

Yes, not even Ronald Reagan’s passing garnered as much publicity and attention as the death of Michael Jackson, and it certainly didn’t spur a tribute concert at the Staples Center, complete with elephants. I just wrote a big long paragraph acknowledging all of his accomplishments as a way to fend off any nasty comments from his fans, but then I deleted it because I just don’t care. I know the guy was famous and [...]

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