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Technically it should be “Loveseat to 5K”

I used to exercise because I knew it was the only thing keeping the world from exploding. I would dash onto the trail immediately after work so I would have enough day light to complete my runs. I would lift weights as I watched Good Morning America. I did Pilates so much I found myself able to roll backwards and then leap up off the mat. I did this for months and months after I got my horrible, awful, no-good headache. I did it because I knew if I didn’t the universe would collapse and we would all die, because it was only the force of me exercising five times a week that was preventing total world annihilation.

But after about 8 months of the pain and the pathetic push-ups, I stopped. The running shoes stayed in the closet and my Pilates mat stayed in the corner and my weights just stayed put, period. And the world did not explode. The universe did not end. This was a very bad thing to discover. I needed to […]

Ask a loser: How do I start running?

I am not a Magic 8 ball, but sometimes people ask me questions (though thankfully they don’t shake me afterwards). EVA asks, “i noticed you started out walking and are now running. how did you do it?” I’ve been asked this before and my advice is: Don’t do what I did! I did no research and I had no plan. I was just walking on the treadmill one day, all 200-something pounds of me, and I decided to kick it up to a run. I started out doing short distances and eventually got up to a mile. A mile! It was awesome. Then I injured myself. This was because I was not stretching properly and I did not have good running shoes and didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

So, avoid the idiot’s method of running and do some reading before pounding the pavement. Before I dispense any advice, I should remind you I am not a doctor and I don’t even play one on TV. It’s always best to consult a physician before […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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