Disclosure: I was sent a free copy of this cookbook to review. Also, Roni is a cool chica I’m proud to call my friend.

Roni from Green Lite Bites (and a couple zillion other sites) published her first cookbook this year. It’s called Favorites from the First Three Years and contains—you’ll never guess!—her favorite recipes from the first three years of food bloggin’.

I’ve got to give Roni big props because her cookbook is beautiful. She put it together while raising a kid, incubating a new one, planning a blog conference and working for herself full-time, so honestly she’s making us all look bad. It’s got lots of large, full-color photos that make you want to eat the pages. Each recipe also has three tips or suggestions for variations on the recipe in case you don’t like one of the ingredients or just want to switch things up. She even calculated the calories, fat and fiber information for each recipe, which means she’s good at cooking and math. I also enjoyed the short introduction that explained what cooking and healthy eating has meant to her. The only thing that could have made this cookbook better is if it had come with the food it tells you how to make.

The cookbook is a paperback coming in at 80 pages, but she packs a lot of content into those pages. I prefer to have a smaller cookbook where you actually make the recipes instead of having a big, fat, heavy one that you use for 2 or 3 meals at most. You can buy the cookbook here for $19.95 and also view some companion videos. Tell ‘em PastaQueen sent you! (It won’t get you a discount or anything, but I sure will feel special!)

My neurologist told me to lose weight and I thought, “So, it has come to this, has it?” The last time a doctor told me to lose weight, I weighed about 350 pounds and was preparing to have my gallbladder removed. To make the day even more perfect, the neurologist’s nurse had weighed me on one of those old scales with big metal counterweights that slide left to right. I thought the digital revolution had rid us of those scales and the drawn out torture of watching the nurse politely start at a lower number and then slide, slide, slide, slide you up to a much bigger number.

I know people have various reactions to a doctor telling them they’re fat, but my first thought was, “Yeah, of course I need to lose weight.” Let us not forget the pant-splitting incident in January precipitated by the 50-pounds of headache weight gain (which I actually had forgotten until I was searching the archives for something else and found that entry). And losing weight has been on my mind for at least two years, ever since the headache screwed up so many of my routines. I do find it bizarrely twisted that I gained so much weight because of the headache, and without it I would have no reason to be at a neurologist’s office nor on his ancient scale to begin with. My life is a real-world logic problem.

So, this August I have been making changes, which was another reason I decided to move to Chapel Hill. It is easier to be healthy here. People ride bikes, not just for fun, but to get places. There are walking trails. There are sidewalks. There are trees and creeks and butterflies flitting about all over the place. It is effing idyllic. I fully expect an animated deer to follow me to the grocery store any day now. And now that it’s not 100-freakin-degrees every afternoon, it’s quite lovely to walk around town.

I have been walking daily for almost two weeks now, and I swear to God I try to talk myself out of it every morning. After I roll out of bed and dispense cat food, I sit on the couch for about an hour watching TV and then sit at my laptop going through emails until I eventually put my head down on my desk. Why? Because my doctor also made me give up caffeine and I do not know how human beings remained conscious before noon without it. Actually, I do know—by walking. Going for a 40-minute walk is the only thing that wakes me up now that I can’t suck down coffee. Last Friday I was going to give myself a day off for recovery, but eventually pushed myself out the door because I knew I’d flop on my bed and go back to sleep if I didn’t. And since I haven’t mastered the art of doing work in my sleep, consciousness is required for my continuing financial solvency.

Along with the caffeine killing, my doctor has made me give up artificial sweeteners and preservatives. My neurologist is a whole lot of fun, isn’t he? At my next appointment I suspect he’ll ban dancing and I’ll have to form a secret underground dance club for migraineurs. The diet changes mean I have to eat real food, which means I’ve had to start cooking again. I’ve also had to use real sugar or real honey as sweeteners, which I’ll admit FREAKED ME OUT. I have a sweet tooth, and I was concerned about how I was going to make my food palatable without drizzling it in 50 billion calories. However, as much as I hate to admit this, and I really do hate to admit it because I don’t want it to be true, I think my cravings have decreased now that I’m eating more real food and less Lean Cuisines and Diet Dr. Pepper. (I still love you, Dr. P! Come back to me!) So Goddamn this diet for being good for me. I hate you healthy eating!!

Reflecting on the past month and comparing it to my big weight loss between 2005-2007, I notice one big difference. I am much more resentful about healthy living than I was five years ago. The first time was a happy, fun adventure of self-discovery and change. This time, it’s been a drag-me-by-my-pony-tail-down the trail, begrudging return to healthy habits. I’ve haven’t been doing it because I particularly want to, but because I know I NEED to. And I do know it’s good for me, and I honestly do feel better because of these changes, but Dear Lord I miss my coffee and my sodas and sitting on the couch all day. I suppose this is how people who give up smoking must feel. They know it’s for the best, but they’d still kill a hobo for one last cigarette.

All of which reminds me of the time I saw the film Prince Caspian a while back, and the lion Aslan is talking with Lucy, and according to the Internet she says “Aslan, why didn’t you come roaring in and save us like last time?” and he say “Things never happen the same way twice, dear one.” And when I watched that I paused for a moment and thought, Damn, that stupid fucking lion, but he’s right. Things don’t happen the same way twice. The way I lose weight today is not the same way I lost weight five years ago. I can’t just repeat the things I did before. I’m a different person now, who got a headache, traveled to Europe, and moved to another state. What worked for 25-year-old Jennette is not necessarily what will work for 58-days-until-she’s-30-years-old Jennette. I don’t feel the same way about it all as I did then.

That is the challenge of it all. What works now won’t work forever. You have to keep changing and adapting, because life keeps changing whether you like it or not. So I will take my morning walks and cook food on a stove instead of in the microwave. I don’t like it in the same way that I did five years ago, but I’m starting not to loathe it with the intensity of my back gas burner. I might even start to like it again. Who knows? And if I see that damn talking lion on one of my walks, I’ll tell him thanks.

I hate to cook, so does raw food hold the answers? Find out after the jump.

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book to review.

When I ate at a raw food restaurant for the first time two weeks ago, my dining mates started to look at me funny. “Are you ok, Jennette?” I told them I was fine, but the quietly panicked looks in their eyes suggested I might be wrong about that. I went to the restroom and when I looked in the mirror, I saw a splotchy, red-faced woman. Holy crap! No wonder they were freaking out! Someone dug an antihistamine out of her purse and I was fine, but it probably wasn’t the best introduction to the raw food lifestyle.

Regardless of that experience, I decided to take the opportunity to review Raw Food: A Complete Guide to Every Meal of the Day, a book that was recently released in America after its original release in Sweden. After taking a glimpse at the pages and pages of full-color photos, I think I’d still buy the book even if it were still in Swedish.

I want to eat the pages. See this little girl below? I imagine her saying, “Oh, would you like some apple pie? DENIED! You cannot have it because I ate it many months ago and there is only this photo left to torment you!”

The whole book is like this, beautifully laid out with full-color photos making the recipes look worth all the chopping, sprouting and food processing their preparation entails. Raw food refers to any dish that was made without heating the ingredients to above 104 degrees. Proponents of the raw food lifestyle report that it makes them feel much healthier and more energized.

The book encourages you to eat raw your own way, breaking the raw lifestyle into three phases so you can ease yourself into it slowly and to your level of comfort. This is good, because I can’t see myself buying algae at the supermarket. To keep the book accessible to newbies, they purposely did not include any recipes that require a dehydrator. They do list lots of gadgets you can use if you are so inclined, which tempted my gadget-loving soul. They come up with creative uses for some tools, like using a cheese grater to slice radishes or cucumbers, and using a coffee grinder to grind spices.

The disadvantages of raw cooking appear to me to be the amount of prep time required to create many of the dishes. If you adopt a raw food lifestyle, a lot of planning seems to be necessary so you have the right fresh ingredients on hand to work with. The authors also mention that you can grow your own sprouts and soak nuts in advance, though if I tried that I’m afraid the cats might enjoy it more than me. The authors also warn that some people develop headaches and fatigue when switching to the raw lifestyle, though the effects are usually temporary and lead to increased energy later.

After reading about the raw food lifestyle, I felt like I’d traveled through an exotic foreign land. I doubt I have the patience to adopt the diet myself, but I will probably try out some of their recipes when I am willing to work on my knife skills. I don’t like to cook, and technically this isn’t cooking! The book also answered one of my great unanswered questions: What are those weird seeds available at the exit of my local Indian restaurant? The answer: Fennel seeds!

Author Erica Palmcrantz was kind enough to take the time to answer a few more of my questions about the raw food lifestyle. Our interview appears below. You can buy Raw Food: A Complete Guide to Every Meal of the Day on Amazon.com.

I’m not a big fan of chopping fruits and vegetables. Are there any kitchen gadgets you can recommend that help quicken food preparation?

A mixer and a food processor are very usable and make the raw food preparation very fun. If you have this there will be very little chopping.

How can I work on my knife skills to become a faster chopper?
I think if you put more attention in your chopping and think how wonderful it is to prepare the amazing food, then you will be less bored when you chop.

While I love to eat, I don’t love preparing food. Is it possible to prep a lot of raw ingredients at once over the weekend to be used during the week?

Food prepared à la minute is always the best but it is better to prepare in advanced than not doing it at all! Snacks, nutmilk and dressings you can always store in the fridge for a couple of days.

Is there a way to preserve chopped vegetables in the fridge so they don’t lose nutrients and flavor?

Put the vegetables in a sealed container or a plastic bag if you pre chop them.

Does the raw food lifestyle simply require that you spend time each day on food preparation?

When you get more use to making raw food you will see that your daily preparation of food is like a meditation and you want to spend time on food preparation because it gives you so much energy back.

In the book, you specify that raw food is any food that hasn’t been heated about 104 degrees. What happens to food at 104 degrees that makes it lose nutritional value?

You have something called living enzymes that over 104 degrees will looe is “aliveness” and 60-80% of all the nutrients will be lost in the heating process.

Similarly, how does freezing food affect its nutritional value?

Freezing is a good option, even thought it will lose some of its nutrients and this is also for the living enzymes. It is very much depending of the freezing process, if you pick your berries yourself and hurry to freeze them or if you buy freeze dried fruit and veggies.

In the book you recommend that you start the day with a glass of water with lemon in it. Is there a particular reason for that, or is it just a way to ensure you remain hydrated during the day?

After sleep it is important to give your body water to keep you hydrated and the lemon will do your body more alkaline and give your immune system a boost. – you recharge your body for a amazing day. Also by drinking water you will prepare your stomach and inner organs, by telling “food is coming soon”!

Your book shares many success stories about people who eat raw food and feel much better for it. Are there any people with medical issues that should be warned that they may not be able to adapt to a 100% raw diet? If someone has a bad reaction to going 100% raw, are they usually able to do at least 90% or 80% raw?

I talk about going raw your way. You shouldn’t do things that a doctor not recommend or do something that doesn’t feel good in your body. Always listen to yourself and your reactions. By sustaining a 80 % raw food diet you can see a big difference in your energy and vitality.

Is it harder to eat a variety of raw food in the winter when there aren’t as many fruits and vegetables in season?

Yes, to get sun-ripened fruit and vegetables that are grown locally are hard to find, you can either increase your food with the food that actually are organic and locally grown such as, root fruits, kale and cabbage. Normally you also eat more nuts, seeds and dried fruits during winter time. You can always sprout and this will give you a lot of energy. Even superfoods that are high in nutrients can be consumed under the cold periods.

Thanks again for you time, and thanks for the beautiful book!

Thank you – may your journey in life be happy and joyful! Go raw – your way.

Elizabeth came to Paris almost a decade ago and never really left. While she was studying abroad, she fell in love with a Frenchman, eventually married him, and slowly learned how to make a life in the city of lights. Her story is told in her new book Lunch in Paris: A Love Story, with Recipes which includes dozens of recipes that marked special moments during her transition. These include recipes for seduction, meals to warm you up when your apartment doesn’t have central heat, and slimming summer recipes for the bikini days of French vacation.

I talked to Elizabeth about her book and particularly about what anyone can do to make their kitchen more “Frenchie.” You can catch up with her on the Lunch in Paris Facebook fan page.

Q: One of the most obvious traits of French cooking that I noticed in your book was the tendency to buy fresh fruits, vegetables and meat at markets. Is it easier to find open air markets in France than in America? And how does cooking with fresh ingredients affect the quality of the final meal?

I think the most important thing I’ve learned while shopping and cooking in Paris is that if you start with good things – you don’t need to do much to them to make them taste great. A little olive oil, a hot frying pan and an open bottle of white wine and you’re good to go.

Outdoor markets are everywhere in France – it’s a tradition that has really endured, and it has become my favorite form of “window shopping”. I feel like farmer’s markets are becoming easier to find in US – sometime they cost a bit more, but I’d rather buy less, and use quality ingredients. One of the great things about the markets is I’ll often buy a fruit or veggie or type of fish that I’ve never seen before. Browsing encourages my sense of adventure and experimentation.

Q: In the book, you mention how much you like sea salt, which is different than the salt most Americans probably use that comes in a cardboard cylinder with a spout. What is sea salt and what qualities make you prefer it?

Sea salt is simply the leftovers from evaporated sea water. Regular table salt is often from underground sources that have been mined and chemically treated – which strips the mineral content. I prefer sea salt because I find it has a less chemical taste to it. I love the coarse sea salt (as opposed to fine grained), because taking a pinch from a jar gives you more control than shaking or grinding. It’s also beautiful stuff – the tiny crystals make me feel like I’m sprinkling my food with tiny diamonds.

If you are using table salt in a recipe, you should start with a smaller amount. Because table salt has very fine grains – there’s a lot more in terms of volume than you get with coarse sea salt. Here’s a good link that explains some of the differences.

Q: The selection of vegetables at the market seemed to vary from what we have available in America. For instance, you had great trouble locating parsnips, but leeks and celery root seemed to be plentiful. What was it like learning to chop and cook new vegetables and to make do without some old favorites?

Discovering new foods is probably my favorite thing about living in France. Celery root – which looks like a brain – is a particularly smug Paris discovery. Peeled, boiled and mashed with a few potatoes and a bit of milk and butter, it’s the best mashed potato dish I’ve ever tasted.

Sometimes homesickness kicks in – and I feel like I want to make something EXACTLY like my mom used to make in the US – that impulse usually ends in tears – and a big pot of something simple and French, like onion soup with melted Swiss cheese.

Q: When it comes to meat and fish, the French seem to prefer cooking with the whole animal. In the book you talk about buying fish who still have glassy eyes staring back at you, and in one chapter your friend cooks a wild boar. Some American cooks might be intimidated by this. How difficult is it to learn how to cook and debone a fish or cook with a whole animal?

I too grew up with my meat and fish under saran wrap at the local Shoprite – so going to the butcher and fishmonger was a real revelation for me. I like food that I’m a bit afraid of – I love to try new things. There’s usually no need to do what I did – getting fish guts all over your hands – any respectable fish place will do it for you. With fish, cooking the whole animal actually makes your life easier – as the skin protects the delicate flesh from drying out. It makes quick methods like broiling a real option. One weekday meal we eat all the time at home is whole sea bass (head, eyes and everything) – drizzled with a bit of oil olive and a pinch of sea salt – 5 minutes on each side under the broiler and it’s done. I call it French “fast food”. (If there’s no whole fish at your supermarket – try an Asian supermarket – they often have several varieties.)

With meat, I think the key thing is not to be scared to point and stare – and ask questions. Treat a trip to a butcher like a field trip – it’s so sexy to watch them wield those huge knives. They will take care of the deboning, and usually the guy behind the counter will have some great suggestions about how to cook what you buy.

Q: When I was in Paris, I remember seeing rows of street vendors not far from Montmartre who all had huge jars of Nutella on their carts. You mention that your step-father, Paul, became a big fan of the chocolate-hazelnut Nutella. Why is Nutella so popular in France?

The French don’t eat much “on the run” – and a crepe filled with chocolately Nutella is one of the great exceptions. Maybe it’s like peanut butter and jelly or smores – a childhood taste that you never quite outgrow. I grew up studying for my final exams with a jar of Pillsbury vanilla frosting and a plastic spoon – I feel like the Nutella habit could become I bit like that. Thank god, I don’t love hazelnuts, or I’d be in real trouble.

Q: I was horrified to learn that the French don’t bake Christmas cookies. Are cookies unpopular in general in France? If so, what do you eat in their place?

Yup – they’re weird that way. The first time my husband saw the blue icing on the Christmas cookies, he got a bit freaked out – his comment was: “Why would anyone want to eat blue food?” That said, the French have their own wonderful Christmas traditions. They often serve a Bûche de Noël – a cake made in the form of a Yule log – it can be made with mousse or ice-cream or custard – very yummy. Every Christmas morning my husband makes a big stack of crepes – which we eat with jam, yogurt, Nutella, or sweet chestnut puree. My favorite is a plain crepe (warm!) sprinkled with sugar and a squeeze of lemon.

Q: Were there any recipes you had to leave out of the book? Was it hard to decide what to include?
I tried to include things that I make a lot, and that hold nice memories for me. The recipes in the book are the meals that really helped me discover France culture. For example, I never liked mayonnaise until I tasted a homemade version in my mother-in-law’s kitchen. The tagines (North African stews), which I learned from my husband’s godfather, are what I often make for a party. They are definite crowd pleasers – and taste even better made a bit in advance. There are also a few family recipes from the USA. My grandmother passed away last year, and I’m so glad I finally got down a reliable recipe for her wonderful spaghetti sauce with pork ribs – it just feels like home to me.

Q: Are there any plans for another cookbook in the future?
I have a six month old son, and at some point I’d love to write a children’s cookbook with him as my little sous-chef and taster. I’m always amazed sitting down at family meals in France – French kids eat everything – anchovies and smelly cheeses and such – there’s no hiding the spinach in a brownie!

Thanks, Elizabeth! And congratulations on your latest creation which took nine months to cook up, your new baby! You can buy Lunch in Paris on Amazon or visit her Facebook page here.

Today we talked food – tomorrow is romance. Elizabeth’s blog tour takes a sexier turn tomorrow – an interview with the Yolanda Shoshana, the Luscious Lifestyle Diva!

Still, I managed to cook some of my bok choy and ginger using the recipe for Stir-Fried Shanghai Bok Choy with Ginger from Epicurious.com. I started by peeling the ginger with a spoon over the trash can as some of you advised. And DAMN, you were right, that stuff if potent! As soon as the skin came off the aroma was overwhelming but it smelled—AAAAAH, GINGER IN MY EYE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! None of you warned me about THAT! Ginger is a dangerous spice, practically a controlled substance. You might want to wear safety glasses when peeling ginger because it—OMG! I DID IT AGAIN! AAAAHH! AAAAAAHHHHH!!

Anyway, when my left eye stopped watering, I was able to mix the rest of the ingredients into the stir-fry sauce and chop up the vegetables. As I was about to start cooking the bok choy, I started to worry about what would happen if I didn’t like the taste of it. I’d already risked my vision and the tips of my fingers when peeling and chopping stuff for this meal. I wanted it to be edible. So I pulled out come celery and carrots to add to the mix just in case I needed to pick out all the bok choy when it was done.

There was no need to worry though because the result was delicious. I don’t know if it was worth an hour in the kitchen though. Bok Choy tastes like lettuce or celery or what you’d expect a leafy green vegetable to taste like. I don’t know if I’ll get bok choy again in the future, but at least now I know to be careful around ginger.

I didn’t intend for this blog to suddenly become PastaQueen’s book review bonanza, but that’s how everything landed, so let’s just go with it, ok? My friend, Stephanie O’Dea, who blogs at A Year of Slow Cooking just released her first cookbook, smartly titled Make It Fast, Cook It Slow: The Big Book of Everyday Slow Cooking. Please note the usage of the word “slow cooker” and not “crockpot” which is a trademarked term that we will avoid for fear of litigation.

Steph sent me a copy of her book, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone, or rather kill half a peck of apples with one recipe.

I dug out my mother’s slow cooker, which is literally older than I am, and grabbed nine apples from my freshly picked peck, to make the Apple Crisp recipe on page 402. This meant I got to use my favorite kitchen appliance, the apple slicer!

My knife skills are nothing to brag about, so I spent at least 15 minutes peeling the skin off of the apples, but once that was done it was very easy to literally throw this recipe together. I tossed all the ingredients into the slow cooker (not the crockpot!) and then cooked it on high for a little over two hours.

The result was a warm, yummy treat for a cool October afternoon. As a bonus, the apartment smelled really nice too.The recipe uses butter and brown sugar, so it’s not exactly a low-calorie desert, but that’s probably also why it tasted so good :) I did substitute the 1/4 cup of orange juice for Crystal Lite peach tea in a compulsive effort to cut calories and it turned out just fine.

I don’t really like to cook, so I like the idea of dumping a lot of stuff into a slow cooker and having a finished meal a few hours later. I was also surprised by all the different types of food you can cook in a slow cooker, like desserts, lattes, and dip. There is a recipe for an egg, feta and mushroom breakfast casserole that I’m going to try out soon too.

You can buy the book on Amazon, or read more about it on Steph’s book page.

I cooked all my dinners for the week.

Lately I’ve been so hungry for dinner when I come home that I haven’t been willing to wait 20-30 minutes to cook something healthy and wholesome and all that crap. I’ve been eating TV dinners or stopping at the grocery to buy overpriced sushi. A week ago Sunday I noticed my fridge contained a couple of zucchini and yellow squash in the fresher drawer in danger of going bad, a bag of fish fillets I’d thawed out several days ago, and a chicken breast I’d been meaning to grill for days. “Crap!” I thought. This stuff was either going to go bad or kill me when I did eat it if I didn’t cook it soon. So, I decided to get a little crazy and try a new strategy – I cooked three dinners all at once.

The fish fillets were baking in the oven while I made a stir-fry on the oven top and cooked the chicken breast on the George Foreman grill on the counter. Amazingly, I did not set off my smoke alarm or burn the zucchini. Everything came out fine, smelled delicious, and was promptly scuttled into Tupperware containers and stuffed in the fridge.

Every day last week I came home, zapped a plate in the microwave and ate a home-cooked meal within minutes of arrival. It was almost like having a wife. The experiment has gone so well that now I’m going to try to do this every week. It saves me time planning a meal every night and keeps my stomach from grumbling too loudly at me. Plus, I can’t talk myself out of a good meal by claiming I’m too tired to cook. However, I’m going to need a lot more Tupperware.

I saw the apple slicer at Target and was immediately reminded why I don’t let myself browse that store much anymore. It’s because I buy stuff. Like apple slicers and silicone muffin pans in the shape of hearts and $5.50 DVDs that I will never watch. Thankfully, I have already used the apple slicer, like this:

Isn’t that awesome?! I positioned the tool over an apple, pressed down, and instantly I cored and sliced it into 8 pieces. I didn’t even have to press that hard. The only way it could be more perfect is if it peeled the apple too, but then I’d have no use for my paring knife, so I guess it’s for the best. The amount of joy it brings me to slice apples with this device is indescribable and honestly, probably a little sad. No kitchen device should be able to make someone this happy. I might get a little kra-zee and try slicing a pear with it. They’ve also got a mango slicer that I’m coveting until I earn my next Bed, Bath and Beyond rewards card from Discover.

My other kitchen Christmas gift to myself was a grater. I’d never needed one before, but I wanted to make the Sweet Potato Latkes recipe in The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook that my mother gave me for Christmas and this required either a food processor or a grater. I decided the $4.99 grater was a better buy. I got carried away trying to scrape every last piece of sweet potato into the bowl and ended up grating off a piece of my thumb as well. Human flesh: not a recommended ingredient.

The latkes were very good, though they fell apart rather easily. Next time I might add another egg or just try cooking the mixture as a casserole. And I’ll leave out the human skin too.

Recipe is after the jump because I know you’ll ask. Psychic readings only $20!

Sweet Potato and Zucchini Latkes (from The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook)

1 medium zucchini (1/2 pound) ends trimmed

1 large sweet potato (3/4 pound), peeled

1/4 cup minced onion

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3 tablespoons canola oil

Unsweetened applesauce (optional)

Slice zucchini lengthwise and remove seeds. Coarsely grate zucchini and potato in a food processor or with a hand grater; transfer to a medium bowl. Add onion, egg, salt, and pepper; stir to combine.

Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Working in 2 batches, add zucchini mixture by heaping tablespoons to skillet, gently flattening with the back of the spoon as you go. Cook until the edges are golden, 1 to 2 minutes, then flip and cook until bottom is golden, about 1 minute more (adjust head if necessary to prevent burning). Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons oil and remaining zucchini mixture. Serve latkes hot with applesauce on the side if desired.

I don’t have anything against Martha Stewart, but I’ve never vibed with her either. She cooks quail eggs. What could I possibly have in common with someone who cooks quail eggs? But when I was out sick I watched daytime television. I don’t have cable, so I have about nine stations, six of them without static. After three cycles through the channels, I watched the last ten minutes of Martha as she made a pumpkin bunt cake. She scooped the pumpkin into her state-of-the-art mixer which probably costs more than my laptop. Simply owning that mixer would probably transform me into the type of person who cooks quail eggs. As she dumped pumpkin into the mixing bowl, she mentioned that if you are using homemade pumpkin puree, be sure to drain it using a cheesecloth because it retains a lot of water. Otherwise your cake will get really soupy.

That same week my mother came over and showed me how to chop, boil and puree a pumpkin. She even brought her own big, orange squash as a demonstration model in addition to the pumpkin I’d bought myself. How sweet of her, she who was well aware that chopping, boiling and pureeing a pumpkin takes more time and effort than walking to the grocery store on your hands to purchase canned pumpkin. I was the victim of a pumpkin dumping ring! I was left with two pumpkin’s worth of puree in my freezer. When I froze them in my disposable Tupperware containers, they turned into mini, pumpkin glaciers.

Taking Martha’s advice, I defrosted a tub and bought some cheesecloth at Kroger. I didn’t even know Kroger sold cheesecloth, but they do. I don’t know if there are any cheese makers in this area, but the fabric must be popular enough to justify stocking it. After draining the pumpkin, I checked the bowl beneath it to see how much water had accumulated. There were one and a half cups. One and a half cups! No wonder I had a pumpkin popsicle. Once I defrosted and drained the rest of my pumpkin, I freed up significant space in my freezer.

I made some pumpkin bread and some pumpkin cheesecake and neither one of them tasted like pumpkin soup, at least partly because of Martha Stewart and partly because I’m too cheap to buy cable.

Cherimoya

Sometimes I do not know their names. Thank you to everybody who told me that the strange, green fruit I picked up at the grocery store is a cherimoya. They are a very popular fruit that have several web sites dedicated to them and Mark Twain called them “deliciousness itself.” Still, I’d never seen or heard of them before. I’m evidently out of the fruit loop. I don’t recognize any of the musicians in the Top 10 anymore and I cannot identify a somewhat popular and beloved custard fruit. I am old and out of touch with the world.

The cherimoya is described as having a creamy, custard flavor and it lived up to its reputation. It was very yummy, sweet with a tart after taste. My only complaint is that there are a lot of hard brown seeds that I had to pick out. As shown in the picture below, after I ate all the white stuff they took up one fourth of the remaining shell.

Sometimes if I’m feeling lazy, I will just eat the seeds in a watermelon or a grape, but biting into these seeds would have cost me some serious dental work. Someone should task the genetic engineers to breed a seedless version.

Dragon Fruit – Kiwano

The dragon fruit looks like a doggy toy. Or a strange aquatic creature. And the Google image search for “dragon fruit” makes me wonder if what I ate was a real dragon fruit. I conducted a fruit autopsy and the insides look fairly different.

The dragon fruit is also supposed to be mildy sweet, but when I stuck a spoon into its guts and put it in my mouth it tasted like – slimy, cucumber, seeds! It was like someone had taken the most tasteless part of a cucumber with the most disgusting texture and injected it into a doggy toy. I actually threw this out without eating the whole thing, a first in Lick the Produce history. I don’t know if what I ate was a dragon fruit or not, but I’m never eating it again.

ETA: Thanks to Lesley and Tracy for revealing this is actually a kiwano!

Feijoa

When I did a search for “fiejoa” I returned almost no results, making me wonder if I’d picked up some completely obscure fruit. Then I realized that I’d spelled it wrong because “feijoa” is evidently too good to obey the “I before E” rule. What a rebel. According to Wikipedia, it is also known as a Pineapple Guava or a Guavasteen.

The feijoa is a tiny, has soft flesh and a sweet smell. So it’s the fruit equivalent of a supermodel. It was very fragrant and tasted as good as it smelled, like a cross between a banana and a pear. I don’t eat supermodels, but I’d eat a feijoa again.