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The self-checkout and a shame-free shopping experience

Photo by pin add / by NCND 2.0 CC

Last week I had a mad craving for cookies. After fighting it for hours, I decided to just give in instead of obsessing about it. So I drove to the grocery store at ten o’clock at night, grabbed a box of Lofthouse cookies (with pink icing and sprinkles) and headed to the self-checkout lane. This is when it occurred to me that although the self-checkout lane has saved me hours of time I would have spent in longer, slower-moving lines, it’s also been bad for my waistline.

Before the self-checkout, a cashier had to scan all your items for you. I would always imagine the cashier was judging my purchases, silently snarking at my choices. It’s more likely that the cashier didn’t care how many bottles of soda I was purchasing, but was more fixated on the wall clock and how many more minutes were left in their shift. Still, the possibility that they were judging me always made me slightly uncomfortable.

The self-checkout machine does not [...]

What’s the current exchange rate for Chocolate Chip cookies?

Thank you for all your cookie suggestions. I was tempted to try all of them, but eventually settled on making Boot Tracks because I got to use my waffle iron. I love kitchen gadgets, and the waffle iron is rarely used for anything other than waffles, so I thought I’d give it some quality time.

The Boot Tracks came out well, but I wouldn’t call them cookies. They were essentially brownies cooked in a waffle iron. I felt like I got snookered. However, if in the future you are ever making brownies and simply cannot wait 20 minutes for them to bake in the oven, let it be known that you can pull out your waffle iron or George Foreman grill and cook them in two minutes or less. If any of you think of trying this recipe, please, please, please remember to grease the waffle iron before cooking. Otherwise you’ll be scraping boot tracks off your waffle iron like mud off of a boot.

There were lots of lovely cookies at the exchange. One of the [...]

Any healthy cookie ideas?

Photo by Libär used under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’m going to a Cookie Exchange Christmas party tomorrow, and I’m concerned. I’m working on losing the 40 pounds I gained during the worst of my headache, and cookies do not seem like the best way to do that. (And if anyone mentions “The Cookie Diet” I will stab your eyes out with my ballpoint pen. The PR company for that product is run by assholes and morons who aren’t competent enough to remove me from their email ist.) But, I want to see my friends, and they are throwing a cookie party, so I’m going. Everyone is supposed to bring a batch of cookies and then we exchange them so everyone gets a plate full of different treats.

Does anyone have a recipe for healthy cookies? Or is that term an oxymoron? If I can’t find a healthy cookie recipe, I figure I should find a recipe for cookies I hate. That way when I’m baking them I will not be tempted to lick the beaters and shove [...]

Let them not have cake!

We’ve merged with another department at work, and not since the Indians threw a party for the Pilgrims has there been this much food proffered as a greeting. At the meeting announcing the merger there were chocolate-iced donuts sitting in a pink box at the back of the room. At the new monthly departmental meeting there were cookies passed around the table, sweet chocolate wafting right past my nose as I passed them on. Last week there were bagels (a shitload of bagels, like bagel diarrhea) on the kitchenette table all day long to entice the departments to mingle. And yesterday, I got an email announcing the monthly pitch-in that is a tradition in the other department. God only knows how we’ll celebrate birthdays, but I’m assuming it will involve several sticks of butter and a defibrillator in the corner in case of emergency. The pitch-in announcement said something like, “Who doesn’t want an excuse for a pitch in?” PastaQueen raises her hand.

I’d like to take this opportunity to announce that I am anti-cake [...]

Recipe – Peanut Butter Cookies

I’ve switched into a recipe mode again, so I’ll be trying out some South Beach Diet compatible recipes and reviewing them on the blog. First up:

Peanut Butter Cookies

South Beach Diet – Phase 1

1 cup smooth peanut butter

1 cup Splenda

1 egg

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix ingredients together. Drop teaspoon sized balls onto greased cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes.

These cookies were pretty good, but you definitely need some milk nearby to get the dry taste out of your mouth. I found it pretty amazing that you can actually make cookies without flour. They’d probably taste better with the flour, but these weren’t bad at all. Bonus points for being quick to make.

The only problem I had was that I couldn’t eat just one. I wanted to eat 4, which included more nuts than I should be having in a day. I have this problem with all cookies and small serving food though. Whenever I make whole wheat bread, I end up chomping on 3 slices or half the loaf.

Final Assessment: I won’t throw [...]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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