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A sickness I can name

I have a cold and I’m rather enjoying it. I sneeze and people say “Bless you.” My throat is sore, so I take cough drops. When people see the wastebasket full of tissues, they know I have a cold. It’s visible and understandable. Everyone has had a cold. They know what that feels like. They know what to do. Take Vitamin C. Keep Kleenex handy. Cover your mouth when you sneeze. It will pass eventually.

It is not like my headache, which no one can see. They might notice the zoned out look in my eyes or notice me rub my temples, but otherwise my chronic pain is invisible. When I try to explain what is wrong with me, they don’t understand. They’ll say, “How are your headaches?” using the plural. They don’t get that the headache never goes away, that it’s just one headache, not many. They try to empathize, but they don’t really know what it’s like, and I’m thankful because I would not wish the experience on others. They can say “That must [...]

Cool Runnings

Today’s training run was hell, if hell had frozen over.

Even though we’re approaching mid-March, it is still snowing in Indiana. I’ve lived here for years, but I don’t remember any winter being this long. I’m stuck in a never-ending purgatory where it snows every weekend and the skies are grey for eternity.

Today the trail was covered in an inch of snow, so the group opted to instead run down a lightly-traveled side street that had been plowed. I had to futz with my MP3 player before we started, so I ended up trailing behind the pack. I never caught up with them either because I am slow and the traffic lights were against me. This made me 1) feel like a dork ostracized from the cool kids and 2) fear for my life as I ran down the opposite side of the street on my own while wearing headphones. If I were with the pack there’d be a good chance a rogue SUV would hit someone else and not me. I was glad I was [...]

Win an advance copy of “Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir” (Or attend the book release party and buy an autographed copy!)

Hey, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this a zillion times already, but I wrote a book. It’s coming out in May, but if you are one of 10 people my random number generator deems worthy, my publisher will send you an advance galley copy. A galley is a copy of the book printed before all the proofreading is complete. It’s usually sent to critics and magazine writers so they have time to write a book review before the publication date. However, we’re also sending 10 copies to my lovely, blog readers! You can be the first kid on your block to read my book, AND you’ll gain deep insight into my psyche by examining my inability to hyphenate properly.

To enter, sign up for my email list here. That’s it. You don’t have to leave a comment on this entry, just sign up for the list and be sure to click on the link in the confirmation e-mail to finish the subscription process. You’ll get a free muffin recipe regardless and you’ll also get any [...]

Snow falling on bloggers

I’ve really got to work on my running playlist. Right as I hit the halfway point on this morning’s training run, the band Speedway started singing “I can’t turn back” into my headphones. Sorry, Speedway, I can turn back and I will because I parked my car at the running store. After I’d run 22 minutes and 30 seconds in one direction, I needed to turn back to complete a grand total of 45 minutes.

I can tell that the training program is working because I ran for three-quarters of an hour today like it ain’t no thang. It was work, but it wasn’t impossible and at no point did I feel like collapsing or stopping at my apartment on the way back. However, running conditions could have only been crappier if I’d stumbled in dog doo. The trail was covered in so much snow that other people’s footprints were the only proof that it was there. I couldn’t see the road at all. It was like driving in a downpour by following the taillights of [...]

Ice, ice, baby

As I was running over snow packed on top of crunchy ice (at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning, no less), I looked at the people in my running group and realized that this must be what it’s like to join a cult. Each task is just slightly crazier than the next. That way you don’t notice the escalation of madness by comparison. First they convince you to jog in sub-freezing temperatures. Then they get you to run on ice that could cause you to slip and break your neck. Eventually they’ll have me wearing black robes, holding a knife in front of an alter made out of shoe boxes, asking, “Don’t you want to kill the mongoose? Only its sacrificial blood can cure your plantar fasciitis.” Exactly what are they putting in that post-workout Gatorade?

Surprisingly, I enjoyed running in the snow and ice. The ice prevented me from running too fast, which helped me get through the 40 minute run this week, the longest I’ve run since September. I probably would have felt differently [...]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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