I can tell that the training program is working because I ran for three-quarters of an hour today like it ain’t no thang. It was work, but it wasn’t impossible and at no point did I feel like collapsing or stopping at my apartment on the way back. However, running conditions could have only been crappier if I’d stumbled in dog doo. The trail was covered in so much snow that other people’s footprints were the only proof that it was there. I couldn’t see the road at all. It was like driving in a downpour by following the taillights of the car in front of me, hoping it didn’t drive into a ditch because I’d be following right after it. Every step my foot fell on an uneven surface, as if I was running around in the woods, making me worried that I might fall. I suppose it was good for exercising the muscles in my legs that provide stability, but I honestly would have preferred to run in the 9 degree weather of our first run if I could have done it on a flat surface. I even preferred running on the snow-covered, ice two weeks ago because at least that was smooth.

I was also irked by drivers at the crosswalks. They try to be nice by stopping and waving me across, but that just pisses me off. I’m not a masochist. It’s just that the rules of the trail (thoughtfully posted on signs at every crossing) state that pedestrians must yield to cars. If everyone followed the rules, we’d all know what to expect. Instead, some people follow the rules and some people try to be nice, so I never know what to expect. I have to stop at every crosswalk and then observe every car to see if they’re going to stop or keep going. It’s annoying. I’m equally annoyed when I am the driver because I never know if the pedestrians are going to wait or if they’re going to fling themselves on my hood because they think I’m going to stop. So, if you ever see me from your car as you’re crossing the trail, just keep driving. I’ll appreciate it more than if you stop.

I’ve broken my promise to talk to two people every week for the past two weeks. I should get over it and make annoying small talk about the weather. It’s just hard for me. In all fairness only half of the group showed up today, scared off by the snow most likely. I did hover on the edges of a conversation some women were having about how they used to run track in high school and jump hurdles. This reminded me of a girl who lived across the street from me in Louisville who would line up her friends’ bikes like hurdles and jump over them. It was totally awesome. I wish I’d been into cross-country and track when I was in high school. Instead I was just the fat girl who went home every day to watch TV.

There was also a seminar after the run about functional stretching. I’m sure most of you are familiar with the concept of stretching. It turns out, it’s not very helpful to do static stretching before you exercise. Your muscles are not warmed up yet, so holding a stretch doesn’t do them much good. Static stretching is really only helpful after you’ve exercised or after you’ve warmed up for about 5 minutes. If you don’t want to wait until you’ve warmed up, you can do functional stretching, which means you do certain movements that warm-up your muscles and stretch them at the same time. Different movements are tailored to whatever exercise you are preparing for. He demonstrated some stretches for us, and as you would expect, you look totally ridiculous doing them. But as he said, we run so early in the morning no one’s going to see us. And if you’re dressed like a runner, everyone knows you’re weird anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Next week I run a 10K. That’s 6.2 miles. I’ve never run that far continuously in my life. I’ve run two 5K’s, but I had a five month break in between them. I hope the Panera people are at the race again with their Cinnamon Crunch bagels, because I looked them up online and they look really tasty. I’ve been trying to figure out how much I should eat now that I’m running so much, but it’s tricky. As I learned on the NOVA Marathon special, training for a race isn’t the best way to lose weight. In fact, some people actually gain weight. I don’t want to use running as an excuse to pig out, but I don’t want to starve myself either. Wish me luck!

Crap! I got dressed anyway, in my newly purchased sweat-wicking pants and sweat-wicking pullover fleece from Target. I also put on a light-weight jacket and my wool coat and stuffed my hat and mittens in my pockets. Then I drove to the running store where my training program is hosted, all the while thinking I would get my training schedule and free T-shirt and then go home because only a group of cruel-hearted bastards would make anyone run in these temperatures. Surely the leader would stand up and laugh and tell everyone that the real running would start next week because it would be completely ridiculous to run when it felt like negative nine degrees out.

When I got to the store everyone was dressed to run. Everyone. Damn it! I couldn’t punk out now or else I’d look like a big pussy. Peer pressure: not just good for making you smoke pot and get a tattoo, but also for running in sub-freezing temperatures! I checked out what everyone else was wearing, hoping I didn’t stick out like a purple cow. As I was passing the registration table I overheard this snippet of conversation, “…like I’m not already wearing eight layers…” and immediately started to freak out. Was that sarcasm? Hyperbole? I wasn’t supposed to wear eight layers, was I? I only had on two! I’d thought about putting on more, but I didn’t have any other sweat-wicking clothes and I thought I’d get laughed at if I showed up bundled like an Eskimo. I grabbed my free T-shirt off of the table and went to the restroom to put it on underneath. I now had three layers, like a fancy cake. Hopefully that would be enough.

I had signed up for the program in advance, paying my money on the day before Christmas, mostly so I wouldn’t talk myself out of it. On Saturday, I was able to walk into the store, grab a shirt and no one checked for my receipt or proof of registration. I could have just walked in off the street and then run out onto the street again with this pack of people and no one would have known. So, if you are an unethical person who is willing to rip off locally owned running stores for free T-shirts, this might be the training program for you!

All together there were about 40 people at the store, half of us running our first half. They had training schedules for beginners, intermediate, and advanced runners and for walkers. After reading the descriptions of each level, I determined I was an intermediate. No matter what your training level, everyone was running for 30 minutes that day, 15 minutes out and 15 minutes back. The store is right near the trail, so we all dashed across the parking lot and tied up traffic as we crossed the street. I love how a pack of runners or bikers can bring traffic to a stand still, whereas if I were to dash in front of a Honda Civic on my own I’d find myself hoping I’d stuck my insurance card in my pocket before leaving the house.

My nose hairs froze before we made it to the trail. There was a sprinkling of snow on the ground, like someone had spilled bags of powdered sugar everywhere. We dashed by a lake that was completely frozen. My hands were frozen too and I made a note to get thicker gloves. On the way out we ran by my apartment complex and it occurred to me that I could just run inside and go get my car later, but I continued onward.

As I settled into my pace I chatted with one of the runners who works at the store, who I shall call TriathaLisa. Her name isn’t actually Lisa, but she admitted she was one of those “fitness freaks” who does triathlons and I’m not going to use anyone’s real names unless they give me permission. As we were running we talked a bit and she said she thought she recognized me from the trail. She said this was the coldest weather she’d run in, which I found to be a huge relief since it means it probably won’t get any worse than this. All the other runs will be warm in comparison. She asked how I got into running, so I had to go through the whole, “Oh yeah, I’ve lost about 200 pounds” spiel. It has occurred to me that I’ll probably have to tell people about this for the rest of my life.

I completed the whole 30 minute run, though I went a bit faster on the way back than I intended because I was keeping pace with someone else. I was really tired the last 3 minutes, but I made it back to the store which suddenly felt like the inside of an easy-bake oven. I drank some water and talked a little with another runner. I’m going to try to introduce myself to two new people each Saturday, which are the days of our long runs. If I want to meet people I will have to talk to them and not just stare at their headbands. So, I will talk to two people a week. I can talk to two new people a week instead of just standing in the corner fondling price tags on expensive running gear.

When I was rehydrated, I reached into my pocket for my keys and they were freezing cold. But I was not frozen. I survived the cold and now I’m on my way to running my first half-marathon!

While I haven’t had time to shop for all the cold-weather running goodies you guys recommended, I decided that 43 degrees was warm enough for me to attempt my first outdoor run of the winter. I put on my yoga pants, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and a light-weight jacket and headed for the trail. Then I turned around and headed back to my apartment.

No, I didn’t quit before I started. I had to grab a knit cap because my ears were already cold. Then I went for a run and it rocked! I ran 3 miles at a 10:09 pace, much faster than my Irish Festival 5K pace of 10:31 back in September. So even though I’m about the same weight as I was then, and perhaps a pound or two heavier, I can outrun potential thieves and villains much faster now. Cool! My fingers were cool too, freezing for a mile and a half before they warmed up, so gloves are a must next time. After two miles I unzipped my jacket and during the last half mile I took off my cap. This cold-weather running thing might work out after all, though ask me again when the temperature has a minus sign in front of it. I had such a great high after the run. Exercise makes me feel so alive and happy. Part of the reason I think I’ve been down lately is because I haven’t been exercising as much. Gotta’ change that.

When I was running across a bridge on the trail, I saw a man on the observation deck watching the flecks of ice in the river and my first thought was, “I hope he doesn’t push me over the railing as I run by because I’ll freeze in that water!” It’s got to be one of the most bizarre thoughts I’ve ever had when running. Why would anyone want to push me off of a bridge? And why was I so concerned about the cold water when the fall itself would probably break my neck? The cold must make me kooky.