Undoubtedly some of you who read that title thought I was referring to Nadya Whats-her-face, the Octomom who recently gave birth to 8 babies at once on top of the 6 she already has. No, I am not referring to her and her plump lips. I’m talking about my grandma.

Yes, that there lady done birthed 14 youngins, and we still talk to some of them! Joyce, Charlene, Donna, Steve, Nancy, Annette, Dennis, Larry, Rick, Ron, Elaine, Greg, Brian and Lori. That’s seven girls and seven boys, which goes to show that probability really does work out over a long enough time span. Now, my gramma had her babies over the course of 25 years, not 8 at a time. My aunts and uncles have limited themselves to 3 offspring a piece at the most, suggesting they were not so fond of the situation as to repeat it themselves. So, it’s certainly a different situation than the octomom. Stilll, I always feel a bit odd when people say something like, “That’s crazy! Can you believe she [...]

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I looked into the baby boy’s bright blue eyes and thought, I knew your parents before they started merging their DNA. I knew Courtney and Adam when we took 6th period AP English together. Courtney sat to my left and Adam sat behind her, the position to best tease her from. And even though Courtney went to the prom with another boy, here they were now, married and laughing and making goober faces at their little boy. It was sweet and adorable and the sweet potato fries dipped in honey made it even sweeter. They were a perfect little family, or if not they were very good at faking it.

And still, I have no desire to have children.

I’m 28 now, so babies are popping out of the vaginas of half my friends (POP!), or being cut out of their bellies, or being picked up at adoption agencies. It’s baby-making time! Time to make the babies. I am happy for my friends, and gladly buy them fuzzy blankets and cute lil’ onesies. They’ve got buns in [...]

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