There is much to like about the new apartment. The cats have more space, so they reenact Roman Gladiator fights far less frequently. The kitchen has a dishwasher that actually cleans dishes instead of leaving spots and clumps on all the plates for me to pick off with my fingernails. Most of all, I love having an office:

And, ok, occasionally that guy who wears Dr. Pepper pajama pants and plays his Nintendo while he walks the dog goes traipsing past the window. And, yes, the neighborhood kids like to play baseball or soccer or ultimate Frisbee or whatever games kids play these days in the patch of grass between apartments. But this is why they invented curtains and venetian blinds and window decals.

Yes, I know the curtain rod is bowing. I have a metal rod to replace the plastic one with, but I haven’t hung it up yet. Otherwise I have all I need to work here: a laptop, a monitor, a stereo system, and a new printer/copier/scanner. Printers sure have come a long way [...]

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I’ve laughed and laughed and laughed at this video ever since a friend instant messaged me with the link. What a silly little hamster, running as fast as he can to escape the wok, but never making any progress.

“Why doesn’t he ever figure out it’s pointless?” I asked my friend. Then I started the video at the beginning and watched it again. But upon this viewing I started to wonder, are there things in my life that I am attacking like a hamster in a wok? Is there anything I am working and fussing and plowing at head on, making no progress, when it would be better to take another approach? If so, some highly evolved organism might be laughing at a YouTube video of me too.

Then I found this video of cats on a slide and started laughing all over again.

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I was wondering – and this is REALLY important – how are the cats getting along???? – Rhonda

Well, Rhonda, the cats’ relationship is best explained through this photo story I assembled last night before I realized how long it would take to assemble a photo story.

The relationship between Officer Krupke and Java Bean is similar to the one I would have with Rachael Ray during a long car ride. I’d have to be sure to drive very slowly so the cops wouldn’t pull me over and find her body in my trunk. I can’t find any real “faults” with Rachael Ray, but the thought of being locked up with someone that hyper in a small space for a long time makes me vomit-y.

Similarly, Officer Krupke and Java Bean are locked in a one bedroom apartment all day with their irreconcilable differences. Java Bean wants to play every second of every day and Office Krupke wants to nap every second of every day, except for those seconds when he wants to eat. Java Bean is too [...]

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So, uh, remember that thing I wrote yesterday? About giving my mom my cat? Well, forget that. She came over last night to scuttle him away and suddenly I was like, “YOU CANNAE TAKE MY KITTEH!!” *Hiss, snarl, spit.* What sounded good in theory did not sound nearly as good in reality. It helped that Krupke was on his best behavior, cuddling with me on the couch, and only hissing at Java twice. No neck biting or blood! That’s progress, right? The little booger doesn’t know how close his ass was to leaving.

So, I’m going to read Cat Vs. Cat: Keeping Peace When You Have More Than One Cat and see if I can promote peaceful coexistence, if not a total lovefest. When I adopted Java Bean I had dreams of coming home to find two kitties curled up together in my office chair. And it will remain just that, a dream. However, maybe I can still negotiate a cease fire. We’ll see. And if things spiral downward again, my mom’s house is still available [...]

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