Decaffeinated

“I need some caffeine,” my brother yawned as he climbed off the freshly purchased air mattress on my apartment floor. He opened my fridge door. He closed my fridge door. He stared at me in horror. “You don’t have sodas?”

“Um, no. Welcome to the crazy house,” I replied. This was coming from the woman who drank five canned diet sodas a day back in February and loved the sweet, fizzy poison. “I don’t think I have any caffeine in the house, except for some old tea bags. Technically the decaffeinated coffee has some caffeine, but you’ll have to drink a lot of it to get a buzz.”

“I can’t believe this,” he said. My poor brother had spent the previous day moving and needed the insane jolt of consciousness to the brain provided by caffeine if he was going to pack up the rest of his kitchen and closets today.

“Sorry,” I said. “I got rid of all the caffeine because of my headache.”

I don’t know whether essentially eliminating caffeine from my diet has helped decrease the [...]

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