The night that FitBloggin’ concluded, my room mates and I started talking in our dark hotel room like you do at slumber parties, where you’re just voices without bodies, sort of like how we are on the Internet. We were talking about the bloggers we’d met and the bloggers we read and that’s when I asked, “Does anyone remember Fat Bitch?”

“YES! She used to wear a bag on her head with a face drawn on it to remain anonymous!”

“She was hilarious! Then she just stopped blogging.”

“What about that one blog, Yo Ho Ho or something? There were pirates, remember?”

“Oh yeah, what was that called?”

“You Heave Ho! She was a pirate who wanted to lose her booty.”

“I miss A Dumbbell in a Home Gym.” We all sighed in agreement. “Hopeful Loser, too.”

“I miss The Fat Slayer.”

“How about Fatty McBlog? Remember that time she tripped on the stairs and almost crushed her neighbor?”

“Wait, do you mean Fatty McButterpants?”

“No, Fatty McBlog. There is a Fatty McButterpants, but she doesn’t write Fatty McBlog.”

Silence.

Then we broke into laughter, because how many times do you get to use the phrase “Fatty McButterpants” in conversation, not once, but twice? We were speaking a highly specialized language that only a handful of people in the world might understand. It’s great that new people are taking up blogging all the time, but I bet newbie fitness bloggers don’t remember any of those blogs. I feel like something is being lost, like there will be no one left to remember them.

It’s sad that the people who used to let me peek into their lives have shut their doors and pulled their curtains closed. Missing in action. No forwarding address. It made me think of how fleeting so many relationships are. I would like to have met them, in real life, in person, without bags over their heads. Some of the missing bloggers worry me, like Fat Queen who posted about going in for surgery and was never heard from again. Or Beth from Act Boldly who talked about being depressed, posted that she was fine and then never came back.

I sometimes feel like an old lady of blogging, waving my keyboard at the kiddies, shouting, “I remember when we used Greymatter to run our blogs! I remember when LiveJournal was owned by Americans!” I wonder how many people are left to remember those bloggers who entertained us when our bosses weren’t looking at our computer screens, and wrote posts that made us comment even though we usually lurk. They meant something to me. Did they mean something to you?

Here’s to those that came before us! Which bloggers do you miss? Who do you hope is remembered?

What wonders lie beyond the snack bar at the Nutrilite blogger event? Find out behind the jump (where there are no ads as mandated by my ad network agreement).

Disclosure: Nutrilite paid for my flight from Indianapolis to LA, two nights in a hotel and transportation to and from the airport and the bloggers event. They also provided some meals and free samples of their products.

So, before my bag took a tour of LA without me, and before my rental car got up close and personal with an armored truck, there was the Nutrilite bloggers event. I found a bag of Nutrilite goodies waiting in my hotel room, which was good because the highly priced and highly tempting snack bar was right next to my computer desk, taunting me with candy bars and wine. I chowed down on vanilla pretzel energy bars instead.

I’ve been lucky enough to have been invited to a few of these blogger junkets before, and there is still a part of me that is suspicious of every invitation, as if I am one email away from being duped and sold into a Russian sex slavery ring. Before I took off for LA, I joked to a few friends that they had permission to kidnap me for deprogramming if I came back trying to sell them vitamins. I was kidding…mostly. I’ve heard of travelers who go on free vacations sponsored by people selling time-shares, who have no intention of making a purchase, only to come back with a really bad real estate deal on their hands. Nutrilite is part of Amway, and while I haven’t had any personal experiences with that company, I am familiar with the stereotype of a pushy, overzealous, Amway salesperson.

What I’ve learned after attending several of these events is that the corporations we often think of as faceless actually have faces. Companies are made up of lots of people who all have their jobs that make the company run, but ultimately it all comes down to people. Blogger events like this let you meet some of the people in a company and learn what that corporation is all about. Of course, like any first date, everyone is on their best behavior with freshly pressed shirts and neatly combed hair, offering up handfuls of endurance gummy chews. (What? Is that weird?) But there is only so much you can fake, and after spending several hours with them, the people I met at Nutrilite seem genuinely focused on promoting a healthy lifestyle by creating the highest quality products possible. See? It’s even written on the wall of the Center for Optimal Health:

Which is right next to the kick ass, rotating, DNA spiral of health! (Would it be wrong to climb it?)

The day started out with a health assessment, the results of which I’ll be getting in a few weeks. After breakfast with the bloggers, we sat through several presentations, except for the presentation we ran, push-upped, and squatted through for 10 minutes of high-intensity exercise. It nearly killed me dead on the floor of the Center for Optimal Health. If I have to die, I would enjoy dying in a location that ironic.

I had never given any thought to where vitamin supplements come from, but a video shot on location at several farms showed what the process is like. Hint: It involves lots of acerola cherries (and not aerola cherries as I originally typed). The company earned my respect when I learned that Nutrilite never made a fen-phen product, even when their competitors were making piles of money off of it, because they believed it wasn’t safe. I asked how they maintain the standard of integrity that they aspire to, and they said a lot of the corporate culture bleeds down from the founder’s son, president and CEO, Dr. Carl “Sam” Rehnborg. After working for several corporations of various sizes during my career, I find it fascinating how corporate culture develops and varies from organization to organization.

Two athletes talked with us, Tom O’Rourke, masters track cyclist, and Jenn Stuczynski, American female record holder in the pole vault. When she is not sprinting towards a mat with a long pole, she looks like she does pictured above. Other times, she looks like this:

She has an actual silver Olympic medal and I spoke to her! Someone should tell Chris Rock that his routine about keeping girls off the pole doesn’t apply in this situation.

One secret I discovered was that you don’t have to talk to a Nutrilite salesperson to buy their products. You can just go online to their store, order what you want, and the salesperson closest to your zip code will automatically get credit for the sale.

The best part of the event was getting to meet other bloggers. They assembled a nice cross-section of people and even had a balanced male/female ratio, which can be unusual in the health blogging world.

I’d already met Roni of Roni ‘s Weigh, and I’d talked before with John from John is Fit.

I had some great conversations with Evita from Evolving Wellness, and I’m looking forward to reading more of her blog which covers holistic health and wellness and balanced living.

It was nice to meet Isreal from Fat Man Unleashed who’s popped by this site before and Mark, a personal trainer from My Fitness Hut.

I also enjoyed talking with Steve and Sarah, a married couple who have his and her blogs at Steve in a Speedo?! Gross! and Rx: Ironman. And yes, they compete in Ironman competitions and there is a 99% chance they are in better shape than you. They’re the type of people who actually win 5K races and don’t just run them in hopes of finishing like I do. And despite all these many reasons to hate them, they were delightful people :)

After the presentations wrapped up, we went back to Long Beach for a group fitness activity. I chose to walk along the pier with a few people, but another part of the group went for a run. An hour later, I hopped a bus four miles to the Queen Mary ship across the water.

This is where I bumped into Steve and Sarah. They greeted me and asked me if I too had found the staircase that led to the freeway bridge that they’d taken over here. I paused. “Uh…no, I took the bus,” I said. I took the bus back too, because I am not an IronMan or an IronWoman. Steve and Sarah ran back and still had time after their 8-mile jaunt to take a shower before dinner. See? I should totally hate them, shouldn’t I? But I swear that they’re really nice people even if they make you feel physically inferior.

Meeting them made me think that it would be rather lovely to have a physically fit husband who’d go for runs with me and keep me accountable for staying in shape. He’d also do the laundry and cook dinner since I’m fantasizing here. After skimming through their blogs, I have a desire to read lots of training blogs. It’s interesting to observe the different attitudes between weight-loss bloggers and athlete bloggers, though that’s probably an entry in itself.

Anyway, that was that! I left with warm fuzzy feelings about Nutrilite, so I guess they succeeded in winning me over. However, I promise I’m not going to sell you any vitamins. No need to kidnap me for deprogramming :)

If you haven’t already, be sure to enter the $100 gift card giveaway in association with BlogHer and Pepperidge Farm. The contest is open until November 2.

Finally, a big congrats to my friend Stephanie O’Dea, who appeared on Good Morning America today to promote her new book, Make It Fast, Cook It Slow: The Big Book of Everyday Slow Cooking. Steph did great and I know her book will too. I’m gonna’ see if I can use part of my peck of apples in her apple crisp recipe.

We sowed some oats together this weekend in Chicago. Is it weird that he never took off his hat? (Oat-kay, I might be exaggerating, but he is actually nicknamed Larry by the Quaker Oats staff.)

This weekend I had a fantastic time meeting many lovely and lively health and fitness bloggers at the Quaker Oats Living Proof weekend. But let’s speak the truth here: ultimately this weekend came about because Quaker Oats wants to see what the blogosphere and social media can do for them. It’s about commerce. I know it, you know it, Quaker knows it, and now it’s officially out there. I did not go away for the weekend just because Quaker Oats is nice, though they were definitely nice. I got some free swag, free meals, and a free trip and Quaker got people talking about their products and started some relationships that will be to their advantage in the future.

That being said, just because there’s something in it for both of us doesn’t mean we can’t all have fun fooling around together. Ogilvy (the public relations company for Quaker) did a stand out job arranging the event, keeping it low-pressure and genuinely listening to our suggestions for the weekend. I think they genuinely care about having a good relationship with their customers and I’m glad companies like Quaker are trying to engage us in real conversations. More companies should do that.

So, with the motivations of all those involved kept in mind, let me fill you in on all the silly stuff I did this weekend. I was the first blogger to arrive, which left me plenty of time to do stupid stuff like leap in front of the mirrored wardrobe in my hotel room and snap a picture of myself in mid-air.

Please note the $7.00 bottle of Fiji water in the bottom right corner. I let it sit on my nightstand in favor of using a new invention called “the faucet.” David Bowie was lurking in the bathroom, but he was a gentleman and kept his eyes closed as I did my business.

Even when I turned on all the lights, the room was very dimly lit, but it let me better appreciate the gorgeous view.

The bed was amazingly soft and the wi-fi was free, so by the second night I wanted to move into my hotel room, even if it had a weird imitation snakeskin chair.

There was a meet and greet in the bar that night and then a dinner which included chocolate sushi. The next day we had breakfast at the Quaker Oats headquarters, where they serve free oatmeal to their employees every morning. (I would save dozens of dollars on groceries if I worked for the Quaker Oats corporation.) I truly wish I woke up to a spread like this in my kitchen every morning.

Then we went through a day of, with few exceptions, boring seminars. It was like being in college again, but when I went to college we didn’t have the technology to instant message our friends to make bad oat puns or speaker-related drinking games. Basically, oatmeal is good for your heart. Oat-kay?

I am frightened to even discuss the contr-oat-versy that erupted over whether steel cut oats are better for you than quick oats or rolled oats. And Oat My God, please don’t even talk about it in the comments because I honestly do not give a damn. I eat instant oatmeal in the mornings because I’m a lazy-ass mutha’ and I like a warm, tasty meal I can cook in 99 seconds. No, I’m not going to make a batch of steel cut oats on the weekend and eat it during the week. No, I’m not going to do the other weird thing you’re going to suggest either. Seriously, don’t even start! Stop it! STOP IT!!

Um, I have obviously been blogging too long. I am now getting into flame wars with myself.

We also saw a cooking demonstration by the winner of season four of Top Chef, which would have impressed me more if I had cable. Instead, she seemed as famous to me as we must have seemed to her. Then we were off to another dinner I would never have been able to afford otherwise, a bar meetup, and then a brunch meetup the next day where I got to meet a lot of lovely readers. Thank you for coming out, especially to the one reader who tasked her spouse to brave the Chicago cold to buy a copy of my book.

I ate more oats this weekend than I have ever eaten before in my life. I am going to be really regular this week and my heart will never be healthier. I also stuffed as much oatmeal into my bag as possible, but stopped short of stuffing my panties with packets of sweet roasted pecan because I didn’t want nuts in my butt crack. I do not apologize. There is a recession on and I need all the free food I can get if I don’t survive the company layoffs next month.

But far better than the free swag was meeting everyone who attended, from those bloggers I’ve read for ages to those I just met. Sweet, sappy, but true. It truly was a great group of people. Thank you to Quaker Oats for hosting the event. Thank you also for giving me a packet of the limited edition pumpkin spice oatmeal that is available only at Wal-Mart. It was truly tasty, but I find Wal-Mart far too depressing to shop at, so I doubt I will be enjoying anymore. (Unless I find an extra pack in my panties.)

I was not sold into slavery by the MegaBus corporation, though the CTA bus I was riding Friday night sideswiped a taxi and confirmed all the justifications I had for not driving in Chicago traffic. But basically, yes, it was as fun and cool as you think it would be, which was refreshing because I always have a secret fear that I will go to fun places and not have as much fun as other people. As if “having fun” is a competition and the drunkest person who sings an off-key Kelly Clarkson song while wearing a glow-in-the-dark martini glass on their head wins. There was no drunken karaoke (at least in my room), but there was amazing food, even more amazing people, and yes, lots of fun. It’s also something that would have been physically impossible for me to handle three years and 196 pounds ago. Though it’s probably closer to 190 pounds ago if the cheesecake and cannoli have anything to say about it.

To tide you over until I can download my pictures, here is a picture of the weight-loss/body/people-who-talk-about-the-size-of-their-ass bloggers that I shamelessly stole from Shauna’s site:

From left to right:

Corinna from A Celebration of Curves who is a nice Greek girl with hair curlier than mine.

Jen from Angry Fat Girlz and Yet Another Weight Watchers Blog. So easy to talk to and exudes kindness and thoughtfulness. Plus she tipped me off to the MegaBus!

Shauna, the DietGirl (although she’s not on a diet) who is bubbly and exuberant and so full of life that some of it spills over the top and gets all over you making you full of life and happy too.

Me! Wow, check out my collarbones. And look, I’m smiling with my teeth, so you know I’m not faking it.

Wendy from Pound! Who has written books (like, plural) and who I would easily consider way cooler than me, but was so gracious with her time and knowledge and such a real, witty person to hang out with.

I also met Weetabix and Sarah from Elastic Waist. It is my duty to warn you to never to get in front of Weetabix’s SUV because she will run you down like a dog and then laugh about it with Sarah as they snack on gourmet food.

ETA: Oh! And I met Tanya from I Ate a Pie who is so poised and friendly that I would eat a pie with her any time. I also very briefly met Kate Harding, but barely got to chat before running off to another session.

I also made friends with some fellow refugees from the hostel, which was a much better sleeping experience than I expected. Of course, I expected to see cockroaches organizing 5K runs along the baseboards and rats scurrying across the ceiling pipes as part of the rodent circus. Instead, it was like staying at a college dorm, complete with possibly drunken strangers knocking over bunk bed ladders at 1:00 in the morning. I was impressed with the huge lockers that held my luggage, backpack, shoes and all the swag I accumulated from vendors. I’d definitely recommend it to a traveler on a budget who doesn’t mind showering with flip-flops.

I had a delicious dinner at Giordanos with my new hostel buddies, Adrienne from Baby Toolkit (who doesn’t live too far away and I think is going to become my eating buddy since she knows all the good places to chow down in Indy. She also kept mentioning my book to people since I was too shy to do it myself.) and Jennifer from The Imperfect Mom (who taught me a lot about Malaysian politics and culture and sells a cool t-shirt that says “Fabulously flawed and loving it.”). There’s a saying, “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.” Whoever said that needs to go to Giordanos and break out the strike-through tags for their HTML, because I think I’d actually kill a small, furry creature for a slice of their pizza. I also met Shonnie and Cassie at the hostel, though I didn’t get to hang with them as much.

I also met Pamela and My Momtra and about a zillion other people who’s blogs I now have to read and thus will never have free time ever again. The great tragedy was that I didn’t run into Kalyn of Kalyn’s Kitchen who helped me get a book deal and taught me to roast radishes. Kalyn, where were you?! I guess I’ll just have to go to BlogHer next year to meet up.

Now I’m at a point where I’m looking back at the conference and hoping I didn’t say anything stupid to anyone and hoping no one was disappointed by meeting me in person. I hope I was witty and smart and didn’t ramble on too much or annoy anyone with my lack of eye contact. Sometimes I think I come across best in blog format. I’m also wondering why I didn’t ask people more questions about their non-blogging lives, but honestly, going to a conference and chatting with people and making new friends like I did was something that was completely unthinkable for me several years ago when I would have preferred to hide under the tables. I feel a lot more willing to be part of the world these days. Part of that is the weight that I’ve lost, but part of it’s something else, maybe just growing up? I have lost a lot of weight, but not all of it was measured in fat.