October 6, 2008 at 7:55 am
I can’t believe it happened again. No, really, I can’t believe it actually happened again.
Dear City of Indianapolis,
Please stop throwing a parade every time I go downtown on the weekend. I’m flattered that you think I’m so awesome that there needs to be a parade every time I grace your metropolis with my presence on the weekends. But next time, I swear I will plow through your bright orange blockades to get into the parking garage.
In June I tried rendezvousing with my mother to visit the tea room when I was detoured by the gay pride parade. Last Saturday, I drove downtown to take part in the Cultural Trail bicycle tour and couldn’t get past the roadblocks for the Circle City Classic parade. How many parades does this city have in a year? And is there a parade warning list I can be put on to warn me the next time a marching band stands between me and the parking garage?
Despite the barriers, I was able to drive downtown, pull my bike out [...]
August 18, 2008 at 7:49 am
The one-way street in front of the parking garage did not head the one way I wanted to go, so I had to loop around New York Street to try again, when suddenly I found myself in the middle of a triathlon. I always run into unexpected events downtown.
As I sped alongside the bikers, I had an urge to speed up and try to beat them, as if I was competing. However, the increased police presence kept my speedometer safely under the speed limit.
I yelled, “Yeah! Go!” to the competitors, even though they couldn’t hear me from inside my air-conditioned car. Ever since I participated in the Indy 500 Mini-Marathon, I have a lot of respect for people who train and compete in long-distance events. I’ve been rolling around the idea of competing in a triathlon myself, however I don’t know how to swim and I don’t own a working bike, so I would only be able to run. Then I wouldn’t so much be competing in a triathlon as a monathlon. We could hold [...]