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You always look stupid to somebody else

I called the maintenance man to fix my kitchen light because it was obviously having wiring problems. I flipped the switch last week, the light flickered and then died. There are two bulbs in the light, so there was no way they would burn out at the same time. The kitchen light fixture is heavy and made of glass. I avoid removing it because one day I’ll try unscrewing it, lose my balance, break my neck and my cats won’t even be able to eat my body for sustenance because I will be surrounded by deadly broken glass.

So, the maintenance man came and checked my breaker box, flipping the switches enough times that I had to reset my stereo clock. Then he got on his ladder, unscrewed the light fixture, replaced my light bulbs and before God could say “Let there be light” the kitchen was bright enough that you could see all the food crumbs on the tile floor.

“Oh, wow, that was embarrassingly easy,” I said feeling dumber than the countertop.

“No problem,” he said, […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

I added some fake Black Friday deals to this store's weekly in-store flyer - Album on Imgur
OMG, too funny!

Humans can sleep for days when living alone underground, experiments show - ScienceAlert
This is probably a sign that I've got problems, but the idea of sleeping for 30 hours sounds really appealing.

Justin Bieber chastised audience for clapping on the offbeat: The biggest challenge facing musicians at shows is audiences with bad rhythm.
I'm linking to this because of the video of Harry Connick Jr. at the bottom, who manages to throw in an extra beat in the middle of a song to get people to start clapping on the offbeat without them even realizing. Mad skillz!


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