I saw the apple slicer at Target and was immediately reminded why I don’t let myself browse that store much anymore. It’s because I buy stuff. Like apple slicers and silicone muffin pans in the shape of hearts and $5.50 DVDs that I will never watch. Thankfully, I have already used the apple slicer, like this:

Isn’t that awesome?! I positioned the tool over an apple, pressed down, and instantly I cored and sliced it into 8 pieces. I didn’t even have to press that hard. The only way it could be more perfect is if it peeled the apple too, but then I’d have no use for my paring knife, so I guess it’s for the best. The amount of joy it brings me to slice apples with this device is indescribable and honestly, probably a little sad. No kitchen device should be able to make someone this happy. I might get a little kra-zee and try slicing a pear with it. They’ve also got a mango slicer that I’m coveting until I earn my next Bed, Bath and Beyond rewards card from Discover.

My other kitchen Christmas gift to myself was a grater. I’d never needed one before, but I wanted to make the Sweet Potato Latkes recipe in The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook that my mother gave me for Christmas and this required either a food processor or a grater. I decided the $4.99 grater was a better buy. I got carried away trying to scrape every last piece of sweet potato into the bowl and ended up grating off a piece of my thumb as well. Human flesh: not a recommended ingredient.

The latkes were very good, though they fell apart rather easily. Next time I might add another egg or just try cooking the mixture as a casserole. And I’ll leave out the human skin too.

Recipe is after the jump because I know you’ll ask. Psychic readings only $20!

Sweet Potato and Zucchini Latkes (from The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook)

1 medium zucchini (1/2 pound) ends trimmed

1 large sweet potato (3/4 pound), peeled

1/4 cup minced onion

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1/4 teaspoon of salt

1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3 tablespoons canola oil

Unsweetened applesauce (optional)

Slice zucchini lengthwise and remove seeds. Coarsely grate zucchini and potato in a food processor or with a hand grater; transfer to a medium bowl. Add onion, egg, salt, and pepper; stir to combine.

Heat 1 1/2 tablespoons of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Working in 2 batches, add zucchini mixture by heaping tablespoons to skillet, gently flattening with the back of the spoon as you go. Cook until the edges are golden, 1 to 2 minutes, then flip and cook until bottom is golden, about 1 minute more (adjust head if necessary to prevent burning). Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons oil and remaining zucchini mixture. Serve latkes hot with applesauce on the side if desired.