My acceptance speech

When I reached my goal weight, I had planned on giving an acceptance speech thanking every person and product that had helped me get to 160 pounds. I imagined it like the Oscars, me stumbling up to the stage stunned and stunning in a size 10 dress, taking the podium and saying, “Thank you, thank you, I wasn’t expecting this at all,” as I whipped out two pages of perfectly typed notes. Then the orchestra leader would set his baton down while the bassoon player went out for a smoke. I’m not sure if I can squeeze into a size 10 dress (possibly, depending on the manufacturer) and I don’t weigh 160 pounds. But since I’ve decided I’m happy with the weight I’m at, this will be an entirely different type of “acceptance” speech and I’m giving it anyway.

Thank you to my mother (and my father) for never fucking me up about my weight. They never put me on a diet, never called me fat, never made me feel self-conscious about my weight, and made [...]

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