PastaQueen goes to Applebees, but doesn’t eat any apples.

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So, I should be posting about week three of The Beck Diet Solution right now, only I have not finished week three of The Beck Diet Solution. I don’t even remember why or when I stopped, only that I kept meaning to read the next chapter, but I stumbled over some Superbowl guacamole and chips on my way to the bookshelf, and they fell right in my mouth! I know, crazy, eh? Blah blah blah, excuse-cakes. I had a cold, a toothache, five million freelance projects. Whatever. I think mostly my dopamine levels dropped, and my brain did not see this as a fun new thing anymore and I was less motivated to keep reading.

But, now I feel really guilty! Because people have asked me, “PastaQueen, where is you post about the third week of The Beck Diet Solution?” And I’m having flashbacks to freshman year of college, honors class, when Professor Tunberg is asking me what I thought of chapter four of The Odyssey, which I have not read, and I make some strange analogy about Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas in relation to Odysseus and his son Telemachus, because they sort of look alike, you know, and OH MY GOD, do you think he knows I didn’t do the reading?

So here I sit, all guilty, and shamed. So, I will get back on the program and start week three, because FitBloggin’ is coming up and I would like to feel more fit and less blob-like. I have found one serious flaw in Dr. Beck’s book though. It doesn’t tell you what to do when you don’t feel like reading the book anymore. I think they need to place a big message on the back cover that says, “Stop ignoring this book!” I suppose I could whip out PhotoShop and make a revisionist back cover just for those purposes.

By the way, congratulations to Rachel from Minneapolis who won my camera giveaway! She has already accepted her prize, but I also want to thank everyone who entered. I really do appreciate the support and I wish I could send you all cameras.

Photo by clevercupcakes / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

You know what I like about the Olympics (besides the thematically delicious cupcakes)? I just like knowing it’s there. During the two weeks in which the winter games are held in Vancouver, I know that I can turn on my TV, flip to NBC, and there is a 70% chance I can watch someone more athletic than me do something dangerous while wearing an outfit that would look ridiculous at a cocktail party. It’s comforting. It’s reassuring. It’s solid.

I like turning on the Olympics while I’m writing emails, or designing mockups, or coding HTML, or writing blog entries, like right now. It’s non-offensive, uplifting except when it’s devastating, and I can tune in and out without losing the plot. People spin, jump, zoom by. I got it. I like seeing Bob Costas in prime time and wondering what he gave the devil in exchange for never aging. I like listening to Dick Button talk about an ice skater’s artistry and hearing Scott Hamilton get SO EXCITED when someone lands a quadruple jump.

It can get boring and repetitive, especially after you’ve watched 20 people execute the same ski jump. It can be odd and perplexing, like when you watch men run around the snow on skis to shoot targets in a blizzard. (Who made this stuff up?) But it’s there when I need it. It’s like knowing I can always go home. I might not need to go there right now, but that haven is waiting if I need it.

It reminds me of when a radio station in town, WLRS, “The Walrus,” got bought or traded and had to change its programming rather rapidly and unexpectedly. During the week they were making the change, they played “I Am the Walrus” by the Beatles. All week. Every day. 24 hours a day. When I first tuned in I only caught half the song before pulling into my driveway. The next day I heard it again and thought, “What a coincidence! They played that song yesterday.” And then the song repeated and I wondered if the DJ was asleep or in the bathroom or asleep in the bathroom. Then I figured out what was going on and I found myself tuning into WLRS several times during the week to listen to the song over and over. When the DJs came back and the music changed, I kind of missed the song. I missed knowing it was there.

I suppose it’s like seeing a McDonalds in France. Yeah, it’s a rather disturbing sign of the homogeneity of globalization, but there is something comforting about knowing you can get a hamburger and fries in France that tastes like a hamburger and fries back home. I like it when the Olympics is on and I’ll miss it when it’s gone, but until then I’ll be tuning in and ignoring it while I go about doing other things.

Photo by sethw / CC BY-SA 2.0

I was so distracted by my cold yesterday, that I forgot to mention I also have an intermittent toothache, all in addition to that constant headache I’ve had for almost two years. (Our anniversary is only 6 days away!) Anyway, I’m not dead yet, but the toothache rather annoys me on a philosophical level, which my other aches and pains have failed to do. The toothache only arrived after I had a decaying filling replaced three weeks ago, which I only did because I thought it would prevent a toothache. Irony, I hate you.

The tooth only hurts when cold water or hot coffee gets on it. Then it will ache for 20-60 minutes while I think, “Root canal, root canal, I really want a root canal.” Which just serves as proof that the pain drives me temporarily insane. The rest of the time it’s perfectly fine and I forget it’s even a problem. I’ve been back to the dentist twice now and he hammered on it and blew cold air and cold water on it and x-rayed it and can’t find anything wrong with the filling itself. He said the nerve could still be irritated from the drilling, and that sometimes you have to give fillings time to adjust. He gave me toothpaste for sensitive teeth and told me if the tooth starts aching without any stimulus or wakes me up at night, I should see an endodontist for a root canal.

I did some Googling and it seems like hundreds of other people have had the same problem before, particularly with composite fillings, which are the white fillings shaded to match your teeth, not the metal ones. I’m torn about what to do. I suspect if I wait it out for another month or two, the pain will probably subside because that’s what happened when I got a crown last year. However, when a splash of hot tea or cold soda gets on that molar, OMG, I want to rip out the tooth myself with a pair of needle-nose pliers. I have dental insurance, but it doesn’t cover the full price of a root canal, so…I dunno. I suppose I’ll wait it out for now and keep my fingers crossed.

This experience has made me want to say two things. First, please floss! I know, it’s a pain, but it’s more painful not to. Seriously. You do not know what pain and suffering I could have saved myself simply by flossing and brushing more in my youth. Fillings don’t last a lifetime, and I’ve got over a dozen of them that I’ll be maintaining for the next half century or so. Secondly, what are your dental horror stories? I think the pain I’m in might be lessened if I knew that other people have suffered more than I have. Misery loves company, and I’m throwing a party. Come on in!

I am sick. Again. This time I have a cold, which seems to have wiped out my ability to say anything funny about it. I’ll try anyway: The phlegm I’ve coughed up puts some of the cats’ hairballs to shame. Ha? No, I guess that’s more gross than funny.

In an effort to post new content despite my illness, here is a photo of me with the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile taken last July at the BlogHer conference. Hot dog!