Being overweight is like being in debt. Instead of owing money, I owe calories. Most sources agree a pound of fat equals about 3500 calories. So, if I am 230 pounds overweight, I owe a staggering 805,000 calories. Eee gads!

But it gets worse. If I wanted to maintain a weight of 160 pounds (my goal weight), I should only be eating about 1600 calories a day. We divide 805,000 by 1600 and – holy shit – we find out I am 503 days overdrawn. That’s almost one and a half years worth of eating I’m ahead on.

So many Americans are in debt (including myself), that perhaps it is not surprising that so many of us are behind when it comes to burning off our calories. But solving both problems take similar approaches. You figure out what you owe, pay down a little at a time, and chart your goals and progress. Thankfully my fat cells are not demanding interest payments. But my body image is currently a lot worse than my credit rating.

Hopefully in two years I’ll be out of debt – both financial and caloric.

There’s an interesting article about fat people on TV – actually their absense on TV – on MSNBC. It mentions the gender double-standard, how it’s easier to be a fat man on TV than a fat women. I’ve posted the full text after the cut.

I was thinking about this just last night because there was a fat female character on Law and Order: Criminal Intent which made me happy because I thought they were casting more diversely. But then it turned out her weight was part of the plot just to make her homely and pathetic, which made me mad.

• Continue reading “Fat People on TV”

Dear Soda,

I’ve decided it’s time I ended this abusive relationship. You go by many names – Soda, Pop, Coke – but no matter what you call yourself, you’re no good for me. Oh, sure we had some good times. I loved your sweet flavor on my taste buds, the cold chill of you running down my throat, and the alert buzz of your caffeine. You’re bubbly fizz has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.

But I see now your flaws outweigh any positive traits you may have. You’ve made me fat. You make my saliva slightly more acidic. You’ve made my teeth holier than Mother Theresa. Plus, you never haul your own weight. I have to lug you in heavy bottles and boxes of cans into my grocery cart, onto the conveyor belt, back into the grocery cart, into my trunk, and then into the house.

I’m with Water now. It’s free and good for my skin. I will always love you soda, but I can no longer be Dr. Pepper’s bitch.

Sincerely,

PastaQueen

This is mildly funny. Evidently people think the 40% or whatever of obese Americans all live in other states. At least they don’t think we’ve migrated underground to the sewers.

Article after jump

• Continue reading “The fat people live in another state”

I decided to take the stairs to my fourth floor office today. As item number 5 in the 7 Habits of People Who Lose Weight and Keep it Off tells us, if you add small bits of physical activity to your daily routines, you can lose an extra five pounds a year.

Or, you can fuck up your knee. My right knee has been making a slight creaking sound the past couple month, but only when going down stairs. I thought whatever was wrong had gotten better, so I made the long haul up the 3 flights of stairs, pausing on each landing for breath. My knee seemed to be okay, but did start to hurt a bit by the time I reached the top.

On my descent that evening, when I had to put the full weight of my body on this knee every other stop, I was hit with a sharp pain. I ended up taking baby steps down the last flight and a half. I felt pretty ridiculous, but I didn’t want to hurt myself any further. I can still walk fine, but when I put weight on my knee at a certain angle it hurts.

So no more stairs. Not for awhile. I don’t want to be sidelined with a bad knee at the beginning of the promising weight loss attempt. Once I get out of the routine of exercising, it’s difficult to get back in.

I thought about going to a doctor, but $60 bucks says they’d just tell me to stay off it. I’ll just keep the $60 bucks for myself.