I've moved to JenFul.com

PastaQueen says good-bye. JenFul says hello.

Finish/Start

In 20 words or less: I will no longer be updating PastaQueen.com. I will now be blogging at JenFul.com

I used to be Jenny. To some I was even called Jenny Sue. But there were a lot of girls named Jenny in the early 80′s and there was always another one in my class. It made me feel less than special, like I wasn’t the unique snowflake they tell you that you are. I was Jenny F. and the “eff” sounded so harsh, though not quite as harsh as using the first two letters of my last name would have been: Jenny FU.

I’ve been PastaQueen for over six years. Actually, I’ve been PastaQueen since I had to sign up for a Hotmail account during summer camp in 1997. I registered PastaQueen.com several years after that and used it as a portfolio site. Then I set up a blog in its own folder, PastaQueen.com/HalfofMe. Eventually that folder took over the whole domain and that’s where I’ve been writing and talking with y’all for the past 2000+ days in 1207 posts.

I’ve enjoyed being PastaQueen. Jennette was too scared to talk about her fat issues with anyone. Not to her family. Not to her friends. But for some reason PastaQueen could tell the Internet, though no one was listening at first. But the more I wrote, the more confident I became. I started leaving my blog address in comments on other sites. I remember that injection of excitement I felt the first time someone commented on my blog, when someone had read something I wrote. I met lots of cool people. I got to go on trips and stay at fancy hotels and eat lots of oatmeal. I got to write a book and then another book. PastaQueen has done so much more than Jenny Sue ever could have imagined.

I’m at the age when my friends are having babies and then more babies. We don’t go out together as much as we did, and we talk about different things than we did in college. It’s not a bad thing. It just means our lives are changing. Diapers and parenting books have replaced the backpacks and math homework we had in high school. We’re not who we used to be and that’s ok. In fact, it’s natural.

As great as it’s been to be PastaQueen, I realized recently that I’m not PastaQueen anymore. PastaQueen had a lot of issues with her body that she needed to work out through her writing. And she did that. I know she did that because I don’t feel the need to write about my body that much anymore. I’m good, or at least 95% good. Sure, I’d like to lose some weight and it wouldn’t hurt if my skin were tighter, but I can handle all that. It ain’t no thang.

PastaQueen really needed support from her readers. She needed them to tell her she was doing ok and she wrote well and she was valued. And while I’m still grateful for all the support, kind words, and digital love you guys have sent me over the years, I don’t need it anymore, not like I used to. I like it and I appreciate it more than I can say. But you’ve helped nurture me into something stronger, someone who doesn’t need training wheels, someone who knows she can ride on her own.

PastaQueen wrote only about health and fitness on her blog, which was good for pageviews because she had cornered a niche. But in September of 2008 she decided to start blogging about other things, which was probably a sign that she was starting to outgrow the PastaQueen identity, like those baggy clothes stuffed in cardboard boxes she kept at the bottom of her closet to remind her of where she came from. She kept on blogging though, because she liked it. She liked the people. She felt compelled to share her thoughts. She liked being a part of that section of the blogosphere.

People still come to this blog looking for the old PastaQueen and are sort of surprised when they find me here instead. Sometimes I log into PastaQueen.com and I’m surprised to find me here instead. But that’s ok. It’s alright to change into someone new, and it doesn’t mean you have to forget who you were. PastaQueen wouldn’t have been PastaQueen without you. She would have just been some invisible girl chattering to her computer. I don’t want to be an invisible girl, so this isn’t really a good-bye. I’m just ditching my old name, just like Jenny Sue became Jennette. The PastaQueen name has a lot of baggage. It’s baggage I got traveling on one of the most fantastic journeys of my life, collecting nicks and scrapes on my way through the Internet and out a door into the real world. But it’s still baggage, and I’m ready to leave it behind. Buy some new suitcases. Fill them up with new junk.

I’ll still have an online presence at JenFul.com. I decided to shorten my name J-Lo style. Jennette Fulda. See? It’s a blog. I don’t know how often I’ll update it. I don’t know what I’ll talk about. But it will be there if I need it and if you care to listen. And when you go there you won’t be looking for PastaQueen. You’ll be looking for whoever I am right now. I thought about just setting it up at JennetteFulda.com, but only 1% of the population succeeds at spelling my name correctly. So, now I’m Jenful. That’s jenful! It’s my name and an adjective.

I’ve thought about doing this on and off for over a year now. Whenever I mentioned it to someone they’d talk me out of it, telling me not to throw away everything I’ve built here. Sometimes I’d look at my bills and then look at my ad earnings and think I couldn’t leave PastaQueen behind. Really, I was just scared to be something different. I was a hermit crab scared to leave her shell even though she’d outgrown her home. I was scared to lose my visitors and my page ranking and whatever income I feel like I’ve lucked into with every click.

But over the past year I’ve realized that holding onto who I was is stopping me from becoming who I will be. I’ve stopped caring about my stats, how many comments I get, my pagerank, my Technorati rank, my Alexa rank and all that blogging bullshit that it’s so easy to get caught up in. I haven’t logged into my Sitemeter account for months. And while I admit that I like the money, and that the money has helped me be able to freelance full time, I can’t stick around here for the money. I’ve probably stuck around too long as it is. Jerry Seinfeld said there’s a moment in a comedian’s act where you know you have to step off the stage. It’s that moment where everyone’s still happy and laughing. It’s tempting to stay in the lights, but if you keep going you’ll lose your momentum and you’ll lose the crowd. People only remember beginnings and endings anyway, even though most of us live life in the middle. Maybe leaving sooner would have been smarter or more graceful. It would be great if I had a master plan about my career and how to handle all my online shit or if I knew what the hell I’m going to do with the next 30+ years of my life. But I don’t. I’m just muddling along like I always have, discovering who I am going to be and sometimes being as surprised as you are.

So screw the money, the stats, and whatever prestige I might imagine that I have. I just need to do what feels right and this feels soooo right. Making the decision came with a wave of relief as strong as any tsunami, but instead of leaving wreckage behind I’ll leave behind what I created over six fabulous years of my life. Sometimes people email or comment wishing that I still blogged about running and weight loss and the thrill of all that amazing stuff. They wish I were who I used to be. They don’t want me to change, but I have. You change or you die. They want PastaQueen. But what’s great is that she still exists. She’s talking to you in the archives. She’ll cheer you on and maybe inspire you a bit. I’m leaving the site up so you can still visit her. She’ll always be there, frozen in time for you to look upon.

But I’m not frozen in time. Every seven years all the cells in your body replace themselves. Well, I’ve been blogging here for almost seven years, so I am literally not the woman I used to be. All the cells in my body have replaced themselves with copies of themselves. I am a completely different set of atoms that are aligned in the pattern of me.

This decision is mine. It wasn’t made because of any one comment or email. It was made because of the entire gestalt of my life. It’s not really good-bye. I’m not entering witness protection. I’m not going to become the new JD Salinger and do the reclusive author schtick. It’s more like I got a new haircut and went off to college. I’ll still be around, just not in the same way as I used to.

Thank you for everything. Really. You guys are the best. You are awesome. It has been great being PastaQueen. I’m grateful for all she did for me. And I hope that the next time you use her name, it will go something like this:

“Oh yeah, PastaQueen? I used to know her. She was fab.”

So, head over to JenFul.com or subscribe to the feed here. I WON’T be automatically forwarding subscribers of the PastaQueen feed to JenFul because I’d like people to make a conscious decision to follow me over there. I don’t want people who are looking for PastaQueen to find themselves in JenFul’s house instead. But the welcome mat is out and you’re all invited in! (Except if you’re a vampire. No invites for vampires.)

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JenFul » Confessions of a swag hag · June 1, 2011 at 7:36 am

[...] I don’t actually use this tiara. I abdicated my throne, so I’m no longer a queen, and a dried macaroni tiara would have been more suitable anyway. [...]

38 Comments

shauna/dg • May 16, 2011 at 7:39 am

YEAH BABY! Here’s to a new era! Bravo, Jennette. Where you go I shall follow like annoying, yappy little puppy dog. Rock on!

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Natalie • May 16, 2011 at 7:50 am

I totally get what you are saying, but somehow it still feels a little like a death. It’s goodbye to PastaQueen, the first blogger I ever followed. I didn’t even really know what a blog was, but a friend emailed a list of some she followed and you were on it. The only one of those I enjoyed and started following. And I read the entire archives. Two years now I guess, not so long in the scheme of things, and I now follow lots of blogs on a variety of subjects and even write a couple of my own, but you were my first. You never forget your first.

I wish you the best of luck and will check out your new blog. Fly and be free.

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Early • May 16, 2011 at 9:29 am

Way to grow PastaQueen! True, at times I did miss the PastaQueen I met when I first started reading in 2008, but I had come to accept that your/her life was evolving.
I’m looking forward to meeting JenFul and reading all about her adventures.

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Kristen • May 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

Farewell PQ. I’ve been reading you for a good 2-3 years now, and look forward to following your continuing adventures as JenFul!

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HopefulandFree • May 16, 2011 at 9:41 am

JenFul is a beautiful new beginning, for you and your readers, additional evidence of your inner transformation and our own potential for change.

You’re right. It IS tempting to create a new blog/life focused on a narrow subject (fitness, or weight, for instance), discover fulfillment and passion, and then securely embed oneself in it–only to eventually discover oneself trapped in a paradigm that no longer fits one’s changing needs, and which even begins to feel self harming. I’ve seen that scenario happen too often.

I’m glad you found a better solution to the challenge. YAY. :)

Be well in peace.

And.

Fly, JenFul, FLY!

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schmei • May 16, 2011 at 9:52 am

I just started reading you a few months before you moved from Indy, so I feel like I mostly got the “Jennette in transition” content anyway. Maybe it doesn’t have a niche like fitness/weight loss blogging, but it’s interesting – YOU’RE interesting, so I stuck around.

I think people come here for your story and stay for your writing. At least, that’s what I did. So I’ll follow your writing over to its new home. I feel like I should send a housewarming gift or something!

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Maureen • May 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

I don’t think that’s how vampires work. You can’t really invite them in and then take the invite back. On the other hand, I don’t think cyber vampires are that dangerous.

I love reading your blog. I’m sure I will love JenFul too!

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wyn • May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am

So that’s your big amnouncement! I’m also went with the 3-letter first name and 3-letter last name domain after being at a different (kind of nonsensical one) but I’m sure you’ll be wayy more successful in getting readers to migrate–I will! Have only started reading you in the past few years and noticed the change but your posts are still laced with that unique nerdy take that made me stop here in the first place.
Very interesting remark on replacing ourselves at 7 years which I feel really keenly because I’m at that 7-year mark and trying to make a decision. Very symbolic.

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Nan • May 16, 2011 at 11:23 am

I don’t care what you call the blog or what you write about. Just write about it. A lot. See you at JenFul.

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Rita Arens • May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am

This is the best, most self-aware post on growth I have read in a long time. Way to go.

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adrienne • May 16, 2011 at 11:34 am

The PastaQueen is dead. Long live JenFul!

I don’t mind the transition at all if we can still meet up and eat delicious food on the rare occasions the opportunity avails itself.

Best wishes!

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Merry • May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am

They used to say that it is the height of good manners to know when to leave the party. Especially when you’ve got another party to go to ;)

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Quix • May 16, 2011 at 11:52 am

You inspired me to run, you were one of the first blogs I followed, and I’ve devoured all your archives (and your book is on my list – I just am slow…). Thanks for being YOU and sharing it with us. Updating my link now to continue to follow you!

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Princess Dieter • May 16, 2011 at 11:56 am

It’s a great decision. Every time I came here, I started wondering, “Um, this is not really a blog about what it used to be. She’s changed. The name needs to change and the look or something to reflect that.”

So, now, you will be your own evolving Jenful self. I think that’s great. I suspect it will FEEL terrific for you not to feel boxed into this old persona.

Onward, babe..

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Carbzilla • May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Brava!

Yes, I feel a little sad too, but I totally get it. I’ve also had issues with being one identity and how to “come out,” so to speak. Still figuring it out.

Can’t wait to read JenFul. it sounds and feels right already.

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Stephanie Quilao • May 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Welcome to the club of retired weight loss bloggers :-D You’re absolutely right, it’s good to retire while on top. People were shocked when I retired Back in Skinny Jeans but like you I was clear that I no longer wanted a career built around my body. It was time to evolve and grow into other things :)

*cheers* to you! The future is bright!!

PS. I like the name JenFul it sounds like grateful :)

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Rah • May 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Congratulations on your identity processes! This does not come as a surprise to readers who “knew” you pretty well. It’s really nice to read about your growth and processes. Thank you for sharing them with us.

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Susan McMillan • May 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm

A big THANK YOU for sharing your life with us these past few years. I have laughed out loud and gotten teary eyed on many an occasion. I wish you continued success in your life as you (like the rest of us) change and evolve. Please continue to share your unique and weirdly wise take on the world with us on the new site.

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rebecca • May 16, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Good luck in your new incarnation. It’s good to know when to move on.

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theantijared • May 16, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Now all I need is a few more to retire, and I will be SEMI POPULAR!!!!

I get it. I actually never thought of you as a weight loss blogger, but more of a great writer. My favorite post was the one about Netflix, because after reading it, I could not believe I was interested. You have serious talent!

And I will always read.

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kim • May 16, 2011 at 4:06 pm

PQ…it’s been a blast. I have loved reading your blog, whether it was about fitness, travel or just life in general. You have a way with words that often found me snickering away in front of the computer. I’ll miss you!

<>

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puppyfur • May 16, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Well, Jenny Sue, congratulations. As a very wise friend once told me, “Life is about managing change.” JenFul, here we come! xx

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Sheri • May 16, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Congrats Jen on your success. I on the other hand am at the opposite side of the journey, starting yet again. One day I hope to be where you are now… stepping into the world separate from Lady Downsize. For now I work out all the mental battles and move toward blogging it more regularly until I find more wins than setbacks.
You have done awesome!

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AF • May 16, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I suspected that’s what the big announcement would be. I’m glad you’re sticking around at JenFul, and that you’ll be keeping the PQ archives up. Oh, and Jenny FU would be a pretty badass moniker.

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Osa Morena • May 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm

I’m glad for you – evolution, what a concept! And I am glad I can continue to read your writing, which is engaging and intelligent and funny. Thank you on both counts!

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PastaQueen • May 17, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Aw, you guys are the best! Thanks for all the kind words.

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Not a "diet" blog • May 17, 2011 at 6:44 pm

You go girl! I think you really find that you are healing from your past when you are able to leave it behind and begin a new chapter. Its definitely a step in the right direction and I am excited to see what you have to say on your new blog.

Peace from a fellow former fat girl.

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Fat Grump • May 18, 2011 at 9:56 am

Just wanted to say ‘thanks’ – from the heart.

I suspect all fatties have times when they are downright miserable and low – and it was during one of those times a few years ago that I found Pasta Queen online, describing so many times, situations, and feelings I’d had…but she was doing something about it and making me laugh too. I bought the book and started to think seriously about my own shape, my life and where I was going. My efforts still falter, but your writing has been SO good for inspiration and I’ll definitely be checking the archives every now and then, when I need a boost.

Cheers PQ. Your writing has been much appreciated.

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Connie • May 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Bon Voyage! Congratulations on a wonderful metamorphis, and I wish you all the best in your REAL life as JenFul! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with all of us! Be well, be happy.

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koolkittychick • May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Hey PastaQueen, thank you for sharing your journey. I have enjoyed following you along this chapter of your life, and I wish you much happiness and success as you head into the next phase.You are a great inspiration to me, and have given me much food for thought and valuable tools to shape the next my future, and for that I am forever grateful. Much love to you my dear, and take care.

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Sonya • May 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Yeppers! First blog I ever checked on a regular basis. I still refer to old posts when discussing things with friends… especially your post on the NOVA marathoners who didn’t lose weight.

I hardly, if ever comment/ed, but always checked in on you. When I first found your blog I spent the whole friggin day reading every post, thankfully it was years ago and there were only enough posts to take up the whole day. *grin*

Good on ya! Keep growing, changing and learning… and sharing it with us!

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Hilary • May 19, 2011 at 11:27 am

I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog since the start–and it’s been wonderful to watch you grow as a writer and as a person. I think this is a bold–and true–decision and I wish you all the best! Can’t wait to see what your next adventures are!

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Jenny Sue • May 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I’ve been a Jen, a Jenny and a Jenny Sue (to a few trusted folks) over the years as well. :)

I applaud your change and wish you well on your new blog. I’ve enjoyed this one a lot, and look forward to reading more of what you write…both blog and book. Good luck!

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Jo ANN • May 19, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Thank you for the music(blog, love love love it)Jen have a good life/

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Anne Kaufhold • May 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm

I worry about this: http://pastaqueen.com/blog/2006/07/the-missing/

And I wish you the best.

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Anna • June 6, 2011 at 8:23 am

Jenful, sounds like joyful…I like it…a nice positive and easy to remember name.

Good luck with your new adventure.

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Johnna • June 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I cleaned my bookshelf today (annual booksale at library, need to make room for more) and decided it was finally time in my weight loss journey to purge the weight-loss books, I’m not the 300 pound girl anymore. I came across your book and realized I hadn’t been to your site for awhile. I was tickled to read about the move, to read your thoughts on becoming a new woman, not being Pasta Queen anymore. You inspired me in my weight loss journey and I’m excited to read about where you are headed now. Thank you!!

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog JenFul.

Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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